Ever get that person that really makes you realize...

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Today, I was on a parenting forum... I go mainly to help people who really do want to try to understand their kids, or just vent about things, maybe help come up with solutions or just let them know about things that worked with me and all.

I've tried to stop going to them, but cannot help it-I like to help people if I'm able, but tell them, of course, that I'm only one person on the spectrum so cannot speak for every single case out there.

This lady today was asking about safety things for seat belts. A few people before me linked some products and all, so I found some others and linked them too.

All of a sudden, this woman who felt VERY strongly about safety in cars and all, and how those weren't approved by so and so, so should not be used, etc. basically gave me a lecture about why not to use those, but didn't back up anything. So I said, because she didn't back up much behind her statements proving anything, "well, I'd rather my kid be secure in the seat belt rather than splattered on the highway if they did get out."

Okay, maybe I was asking for it, but at the time I was just saying it as the plain truth. She of course really nailed me then, lol.... and I felt, very uncomfortable even reading her post.

I made it a point to tell her that I'm not as educated in that area as she is, and it really doesn't help when she does that because I don't know how else to describe it other than... awkward.

But I got to thinking about it, and wondered, "is this how I make others feel when I get really excited about a subject that they don't want to talk about, or don't know much about?"
I don't know how to remedy it, other than keeping that experience in the back of my mind as a reference point, but still, it's nice to have something to add to my "about me" folder in my mind, lol.

Do you ever have those moments when you are on the receiving end of a situation, and can literally say (after thinking about it), "wow... I do that to other people, too." ?

I got that feeling recently. You see, my older sister is obsessed with Twilight and Robert Pattinson. She goes on and on about how great it is. Sometimes my mom complains about her obsession, saying things like "that's all she ever talks about" and "she's too old to behave that way". For awhile I wondered if I was the same way with my obsession with Johnny Depp movies. I talked to my mom about it, and she says that the circumstances are different.

Yes I do. I have gone to AS Partners and wondered if this is how I make people feel. Do I really come off that way?

I have gone to ASD relationships where it's more positive and the women there are more sensitive to their AS partners and work with them and be a team than moaning about them and being all insensitive and I wonder if I do that too. I still go there.

I have also read something at Yahoo Answers by someone who said she has an aspie friend and she said all this stuff about him like he says weird things, and other stuff I forget and I wondered if that's how I came off as in high school. Kids did tell me to be quiet, go away, and they get mad at me for no reason.

I also tend to ask the same questions over and over but when someone did it to me, it was annoying. So I don't do it to other people. I try not to. My ex did it to me also and it gave me a wake up call to stop.

I also don't talk about the same things over and over because it was done to me and I didn't like it. I got sick of it so I thought this is how it feels when I do it to others. So I stopped.

Also my ex would argue with you if you didn't agree and he wouldn't shut up until you agreed. So I knew then I better change that about myself and I did. I just saw how irritating it was and I felt I wasn't allowed to have my own opinion. He didn't seem to know the difference between facts and opinions. When something pisses me off because I don't like someone's opinion, I drop the topic. Some peoples opinions are disturbing and messed up. I have gotten in some heated debates with some of my friends because of their twisted opinions. But then we managed to kiss and make up.

Glad I'm not the only one so far that has this happen. It's happened quite a few times. Sometimes these incidents stick with me, sometimes they do not... but it sure is nice to have things pointed out to me (even if it's through my own perception of what someone else is doing) once in a while. I don't like it if it's directly pointed out-not immediately, but I adjust to it and realize it's true usually.

lol, that alone would probably tell me it's true if someone said that to me, because I wouldn't know exactly what circumstances were in place-I would auto assume AS, essentially.

I would hope the circumstances were simply that the other person was just as interested as I was in who or what I was talking about, haha, but I know that's a little too hopeful unless they just say it flat out.

But that is just me, and I know how my mom is with my son vs. my daughter. For instance, up until just recently, she would say "oh, he's doing this or that because he doesn't know how to express himself, and you need to tell her (his sister) not to do that to him anymore because of it." But... recently she watched them at her house for a little bit, and he walked up and kicked her (his sister) right between the legs out of the blue-absolutely no reason whatsoever.

So she called, just appalled that he would even do that, haha. Up until then, the circumstances were very different in that situation as far as she was concerned. Seeing is believing, I suppose.

haha i get myself into trouble like this as well. i like to think of it as "playing too rough."


i can't help but see where the patterns go. seatbelt = secure, noseatbelt = nosecure, if seatbelt isn't secure enough and needs to be modified, modified seatbelt = secure and unmodified seatbelt = not secure.

in my mind, it's totally acceptable to comment that i'd rather my child be secure in the seatbelt than splattered on the highway. i'm sure this parent did not want to think about her child splattered on the highway. there's a connection between those two sentences that, while i can grasp at, i can't relate to. i don't want to think about my child splattered on the highway either. i also find that many people take each and every forum thread they come across as an argument, rather than a discussion. if i guess around i can eventually come up with a scenario where this parent saw you disagreeing with her and using her highway-splattered child to combat her position and attacked you.


wild conjecture, i admit.
but that's as close as i can get.

Well, it does make sense to some degree to me. I looked at her profile, and she's like, BIG TIME into the rules of safety and such. She's a firm believer that these devices are not crash tested for anything, that your child actually IS the test dummy.

So in that aspect, I can see where she feels very strongly. She is an admin of that group, and they are constantly updating car safety laws and such, so I suppose, it's kind of like a special interest to her... to stick strictly to the law. That was her major argument, as well, that it was against the law, apparently.

Granted, I would say that is a silly law, because then there would just be no way to even put some children in a car to begin with, if you cannot be assured that they can't unbuckle themselves at any point in time.

I looked back through the thread, and there was some harness she posted that would be acceptable because it had been crash tested. *shrug* If I didn't know she was in that group and so big on the law, it would almost seem as if she was the one who came up with it and was trying desperately to force people to buy it, lol, because she was fighting so hard.

However, I looked into one device I posted, and it is endorsed by a Fire and Rescue group. She hasn't responded since I asked her about it. I just said "I know you feel very strongly, but some of us don't have the education that you seem to have. I am personally confused because of (insert the quote about the endorsement here that states it has been tested and approved)."

Yes, then I start thinking..."It's no wonder that I don't have any friends".

Me too

This is still new to me... I've been reading and learning so much. Reflecting on my past behavior. I see myself good and bad, all over this forum.

Taupey