Ever been accused of calling yourself an aspie to be trendy?

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aziraphale
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10 Mar 2010, 7:20 pm

Yeah, that happened to me once as a sort of an accusation by five people at the same time. I was very confused. I mean, why would I do that? I didn't even know Asperger's was a trend. Judging by the conversation, I think they managed to make some bizarre jumps from gender bender (that's pretty accurate) to Jeffree Star wannabe to trendy scene kid and then concluded that everything I do is to follow a trend. It gets weirder in that one of them claimed to have Asperger's himself. I'm actually none of those but the first one. I look nothing like Jeffree Star and I am definitely neither trendy nor a scene kid but whatever. Anyway, I'm wondering if anyone else has ever gotten this?



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10 Mar 2010, 7:23 pm

Nope, just that I was looking for sympathy or thinking I had it worse than I actually do.


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10 Mar 2010, 8:07 pm

No, my mom just accused me of being "unmotivated" (LAZY) and that I needed to "try harder to be normal" . It bothered me of course at first, but then it kinda reminded me of that scene from the show Buffy:
Buffy: Mom, I'm The Slayer.
Mom: Well...have you tried NOT being one?
And now it makes me laugh and roll my eyes.
So I just decided not to talk to her anymore about it.
In your case I would not talk to these people anymore. They sound like lame-os.


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Last edited by Gigi830 on 10 Mar 2010, 8:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

alana
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10 Mar 2010, 8:11 pm

I've seen that only on here, there are apparently some folks who believe people do that.



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10 Mar 2010, 8:17 pm

alana wrote:
I've seen that only on here, there are apparently some folks who believe people do that.


Same here. None of the few friends I told about it said anything of the sort, even though I'm a very social person.


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10 Mar 2010, 8:20 pm

Nope, I was diagnosed at the age of twelve and spent most of my late teens and early twenties in denial.



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10 Mar 2010, 8:20 pm

pat2rome wrote:
alana wrote:
I've seen that only on here, there are apparently some folks who believe people do that.


Same here. None of the few friends I told about it said anything of the sort, even though I'm a very social person.


Same.

In real life, in my area at least, nobody would call it trendy for the simple fact that even though WE think there is a lot of awareness and such about it, nobody ever knows what it is, lol.

The most you get around here is "oh, you don't seem like it". *shrug* Can be annoying, but works for me-they aren't discounting it, just announcing that it never crossed their minds (as someone explained to me once).


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10 Mar 2010, 8:31 pm

The day I call myself "aspie" is the day I commit seppuku out of dishonor.

But ah, the people I know in person (only family) can see the labels I have easily enough.



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10 Mar 2010, 9:37 pm

I have never gotten this yet but I was accused of defining myself by the label because I was calling myself aspiesexual.



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10 Mar 2010, 9:52 pm

Ha, my mother sure wishes I was more trendy...



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10 Mar 2010, 10:32 pm

People call me nerdy or geeky, as they have all my life, and I really dont think that is a trend. I don't think most people know the term "aspie" anyway.



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10 Mar 2010, 10:53 pm

I am undiagnosed, but I'm worried my partner might say something like this which is why I am not sharing with her that I suspect that have AS until I get a diagnosis.



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10 Mar 2010, 10:56 pm

aziraphale wrote:
Yeah, that happened to me once as a sort of an accusation by five people at the same time.?


it's the 'cool' new bully thing, don't ya' know? Just a new way to bully.

Merle



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10 Mar 2010, 10:58 pm

No, I never talk about it with anyone except here and one other person who knows I have this.


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10 Mar 2010, 11:33 pm

Whenever I've seen Aspergers denial, it's always seemed to come down to the denier thinking that the presumed Aspie is going to try to use the diagnosis as an excuse for past or future behavior. I've seen this on a number of occasions second hand, usually coming from the family of a self diagnosed or suspected Aspie. This often leads to a fixation by the Aspie to get properlay diagnosed, and the implied idea that once their condition has been "legitimized" that the deniers will HAVE to take their autism into account regarding past problems. I've found that making extremely clear that the diagnosis is only part of a process of self discovery and not going to be used as a sort of get out of jail free card for misbehavior can go a long way in quashing this kind of thing.


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11 Mar 2010, 12:34 am

Dox47 wrote:
Whenever I've seen Aspergers denial, it's always seemed to come down to the denier thinking that the presumed Aspie is going to try to use the diagnosis as an excuse for past or future behavior. I've seen this on a number of occasions second hand, usually coming from the family of a self diagnosed or suspected Aspie. This often leads to a fixation by the Aspie to get properlay diagnosed, and the implied idea that once their condition has been "legitimized" that the deniers will HAVE to take their autism into account regarding past problems. I've found that making extremely clear that the diagnosis is only part of a process of self discovery and not going to be used as a sort of get out of jail free card for misbehavior can go a long way in quashing this kind of thing.


Yeah, and honestly? I think the expectation (on the part of some nonautistic people) that autistic people will use it as a get out of jail free card, is itself a get out of jail free card for the nonautistic people in question to stereotype, bully, disbelieve, whatever, the autistic person in question.

I have seen a lot of people accused of this and the vast majority of the time it's a totally unfounded accusation. Either it's someone misunderstanding the social model of disability and similar ways of looking at the world, or it's someone who doesn't want to be held responsible themselves for being nasty to a disabled person (especially if they have the common idea in their head that that is "lower than low" and don't want to think of themselves that way).

A lot of the time the accusation comes during something like a debate that has gone nasty because someone really didn't get that autistic people don't take things literally just to be a smart aleck. And they say "no seriously I'm autistic I take things literally I didn't mean anything by it" and the other person snaps back with "I bet you're one of those self-diagnosed Asperger types who use it as an excuse to be a jerk. You should see what real autism is like." Because the person really doesn't want to admit they were wrong about the autistic person's motivations.

The worst part of situations like that is you just know the person will see that as someone using it as an excuse and then later will be able to add, " And I have personal experience so don't tell me it doesn't happen."

Other times I have seen it where the autistic person is really and truly being messed with by bullies who don't want to admit that they have been targeting someone because of disability.

And other times the person has either heard rumors that Aspergers is a fake condition people self diagnose to avoid responsibility, or has met (or thinks they've met) a few who do.

Among autistic people there can be totally similar misunderstandings leading some of us go think it truly is rampant and then distance themselves from the stereotype instead of denying the stereotype itself.

Plus once you've heard the rumor and you meet someone who either fits it or just seems to, it's a common human fallacy to see those few people as proof the stereotype is real. I have met a small number of people who fit it, a slightly larger number of people who just seem to fit it, and a huge number of people who don't. But the few who do don't make me think it's widespread, and I don't pretend to be able to tell with someone I don't know particularly well most of the time.

But... yeah. Not only don't I think it's common, but when it's real I don't think it has anything to do with being self-diagnosed. The person I know (in person) who is the absolute worst I have ever seen, is professionally diagnosed and seems to have behaved this way since childhood because he was allowed to get away with it. And the funny thing us one of his pet peeves is "autistic people who won't take responsibility" even though he evades responsibility for even the tiniest of things.


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