Unwanted Comments

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I've got a problem with friends at my university commenting about my body (approx. once a week now at least since I've been going to college). Its a pretty even split male vs. female who are doing it. My mother says its either 1. b/c they're just plain rude or 2. they find me attractive. My problem is I cannot tell which is which (my mother tells me to assume any guy who comments is attractive). But I think assuming this is too narrow minded. Is their a way to tell the difference w/o asking (don't think I'll get honest responses)? Also, I can deal w/ rudeness once I recognize it but not being found attractive (I'm not interested in people sexually just emotionally on occasion/in certain cases).

Try wearing baggier clothes. You're mom's right the guys are probably attracted to you, but it might also be you're sending out signals with the way you dress. If you don't want to be approached, wearing baggy clothes both hides your body and sends out a non-sexual message.

What are they saying and what do you usually wear?

If they're your friends, just tell them straight out that it makes you feel really self-conscious and to cut it out. Don't be vague or apologetic; be firm. They may whinge fro a bit about you not being 'fun' or crap like that, but they should respect you enough to stop.

If being blunt doesn't work, start making a few comments about them. Not too horrible; I presume you still want them as friends, but personal enough to get your point across.

I usually wear t-shirts, long sleeved or 3/4 inch sleeved tops (I go w/ or w/o a bra depending on the top b/c I'm small enough). I also wear regular old jeans, tripp pants (goth pants if your not familiar/they have chains) & a gothic jacket (I get a lot of comments that people like my butt in the tripps & love the jacket, etc.). I've also worn dresses and hippy skirts. I avoid anything too revealing but a lot of the comments I get besides about specific physical attributes are friends saying I hide my body too much (I'm trying to AVOID attention by wearing non-revealing clothes that still count as "normal" clothes (for my age group/range of friends)).

Ask them calmly but firmly to stop. If they don't, start doing it back to them.

If the guys that comment on you are your friends tell them to stop, but if they're just people around your university it's impossible to get them to stop. Just ignore them. I usually can't help to smile when guys say stuff like that to me.

I have known a lot of people, male and female, who make such comments thinking they are being complimentary. I think they are trying to make you feel good about yourself, but this doesnt work for you. You can probably get your friends to stop, but the guys may be a challenge- just ignore them.

I have also known a lot of people who like that kind of attention (I never did either), so that is another reason it is hard to get them to stop sometimes.

One time, I wore shorts to college. A man commented on what nice legs I had. That was the last time that I've worn shorts to college.

just tell them to stop, most guys wont know that they're actually making you uncomfortable when they say these things. if these are new friends it's especially good to nip this kind of thing in the bud.

most of my friends are male and they do make these kinds of comments regularly. it doesn't really bother me, never did and i've been hearing them for years. so my point is tell them to stop now unless you want to put up with it for years.

plus there's an escalation factor. if it makes you uncomfortable and you dont say something they may move on to making comments about your breasts.

Goth clothes are still kinda sexy in a way, even if they're baggy. Maybe if you wore more plain clothes, people wouldn't be inclined to look at your body at all.