Unfriending

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I just unfriended a guy on facebook b/c he put me in a really uncomfortable situation w/ him & his aspie ex/my friend & told (via facebook) me that b/c I got pissed that a bunch of guys were checking me out that I "don't belong in college". I don't care what the guy thinks of me (as long as he leaves me alone I'm good). But his ex girlfriend/my friend is still madly "in love with him" (she's either in love with him or overly attached b/c she's convinced knowone else will ever want her ) & she'll get pissed if she realizes I unfriended him. (He asks her what's going on at our college (he was kicked out due to bad grades (yet she said I should not be in college) and she tells him EVERYTHING my friends & I do...) Not sure what to do now b/c I needed to unfriend him so he can't access my profile & harass me, but I always have to monitor what I do/say around his ex.

It's your profile. If you really think 'unfriending' him is going to help, then do it. You shouldn't have to answer to her.

I think you may be getting a little bit paranoid about this guy. Yes, he did once ask you for a threesome; that's gross and fair enough you don't want to be good friends with him anymore, but perhaps it's time to just let it rest. He's not stalking you.

That said, if there's any specific stuff you really don't want anyone else to know, don't tell your friend about it.

You can block him.

I hate the concept of "unfriending". I rarely practice it myself. I try to work a conflict out with somebody first before going ahead and deleting them.

I often cut myself off from people.

I'll give you I'm becoming paranoid (even though I'm trying not too) b/c whenever I've "gotten over it" it comes back up w/ either his ex complaining (or as of yesterday) him commenting on my profile. I took care of the second problem by unfriending him, but I'm paranoid about 2 things:
1. Her talking about him, getting upset if 1 of our friends brings him up (they like insulting him b/c I'm not the 1st person he's created problems for) or telling him stuff about me again. She's overly sensitive & I think I'd have an easier time "getting over it" b/c its really getting old now (sorry I've been whining about it so much ) if I didn't have to worry about what I talk about/do around her. (This whole problem started b/c she told him stuff about me/a book I showed her w/o telling me & he concocted his stupid "idea".)
2. We have a renaissance faire on campus & all 3 of us are club members, if he comes back for faire I DON"T want to be ANYWHERE near him/the two of them... (I'm paranoid about this cause he's not mentally stable & in certain ways, she isn't either.) I'm planning to take advantage of the club/faire code word for "Problem over here, help me!" if its an issue. (The more experienced members know how to break up a ruckus yay)

I just have issues w/ remembering who I can talk to about what. I'd prefer to just be myself all the time. *sigh Plus, I feel guilty for having to ask for help constantly.

Ah, if he keeps commenting on your profile, then yeah, I'd agree that you should delete him. You've made it pretty clear that you don't want to know him in the past.



No, feel free to vent here. Your friend sounds a pain at the moment. I understand what she is feeling; when you break up with someone you care about, it's hard to stop talking about them. She really doesn't sound like she's over him, so being friends is probably a really bad idea.

Perhaps you and your other friends should agree not to bring up the ex and tell your friend that you want a week's 'time out' from him, where nobody mentions him or brings him up. Make the topic totally taboo and if she can't get him out of her head, she should write it down.

If she doesn't agree to that, then walk off when she brings him up. I think at this stage you're allowed tell her to 'shut up already' to be honest. On the bright side, if either of them move on to different partners, my bet is that they'll hardly speak to each other again.

What was the book? Did you tell her that she shouldn't share it with anyone else? I probably tell my boyfriend about stuff my friends do too, unless I know it's personal and they wouldn't want me repeating it.



Don't feel guilty for asking here; that's pretty much what the site's for. I think you should probably not trust this friend of yours too much, at least not until she gets over this stage of her life.

Ugh, I know what it's like to ahve someone you dislike in the same club. Just act cool and ignore him. If he approaches you, don't be shy in telling him to leave you alone and if he still persists, then definitely ask the other members for help.

My friends & I are trying to avoid the topic (& hopefully, as she's let it drop for a few days, its done). But she chose to vent to me while we were alone (know one else was at the dinner table) so it was awkward... The book is called Making Sense of Sex A Forthright Guide to Puberty, Sex and Relationships for People with Asperger's Syndrome". I told her about it b/c I was curious if she'd be interested in looking at it... stupid move on my part, I didn't even consider that'd she'd tell her ex & what he'd get out of it *facepalm. His coming to faire is highly unlikely as he was kicked out of school, but he still could come if he wants too (its the unknown that bothers me b/c either he'll come & I won't know what to do or he won't come & I'll of worried for nothing). So I'd rather be prepared just in case than have him come & cause a problem.