What do you do if? thread

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Just got the idea of posting a question (it can be anything) and having the following person(s) answer it and post another question. Just keep the questions moving please

1. What do you do if you've developed the desire to play with a friend's hair b/c you think its pretty but you think they'll find it awkward (I'm a girl & this is a guy w/ unusually nice hair)?

Answer- ask him if you can play with his hair! Sometimes they don't mind or even like it, but he may think it is flirting so watch out. And if he lets you, don't ask constantly or he will cut you off!


Question: What do you do to clean the paper if your dog jumped on a very detailed drawing and left paw prints?

Answer: Depends on what the dog had on his/her paws (mud vs. water etc.) I' say just let it dry if its clear liquid or try to blotch it off with a napkin otherwise ( if its removing color such as the brown from mud or like a juice stain I have no idea besides shade the drawing in the match the stain).

Question: What do you do if their is a good chance you are going to end up seeing someone for a weekend (in a little over a month) that you'd rather not see b/c they made a very uncomfortable sexual request/offer towards you?

answer: boundaries are your friend. Explain to this person that his sexual advances are uncomfortable to you and you would rather not see him. If you would like to see him if it wern't for the advances then tell him: I would like to see you but I am not comfortable with sex. These things need to be addressed very straight forwardly so nothing gets misinterpreted. If he cant handle this or blames you..or dismisses you, belittles you, or otherwise disrespect your possition...then under no circumstances should you see this person. No means no. If he cannot respect your possition, he may likely sexually abuse you.

Question: I love my mom...she also has a serious physical illness...she needs my help alot, but she wears me out with her constant requests...needed and unneeded. After a while, I am so drained that I have no energy or desire to do anything for myself. Anytime I try to get some time to myself in a small appartment...she wont leave me alone long enough to recharge my batteries...more like every 5 min. she is calling me for something.
what do I do? I love her and she needs my help but I dont know what to do? I am exausted.

Answer: I'd try to get another relative (sibling, etc.), friend, or hire someone to help you out (by checking up on her once in awhile) if its possible. Depending on her age & the severity of her illness getting someone else's help may work or else you can try getting an occupational therapist to help you find ways for her to manage for herself to an extent. Worst case scenario she may need to live in a group/nursing home . But the fact is you need to have time to recharge or else you are going to eventually lose it & be unable to help her anymore. You need to help yourself/take care of your own needs before you help another person b/c otherwise you risk hurting yourself to the point where your useless to them anyways.

Question: What are appropriate ways to block out unwanted noise from a suitemate (we share a bathroom w/ a wall between the bedrooms) besides blaring music 24/7... or when she has a guest or two?

Answer: I don't know

Question: How do you learn what questions you should refrain from asking? Is their a way?

Answer: The only way I've figured about how to deal with questions is not to ask them. We live in a question driven society but I was raised not to ask questions (cultural value) anyway, as a teenager I really didn't think about it very much but then later, I noticed that some people rely almost solely on questions to have conversations (big no no in my family). Anyway, since this would get on my nerves, I started really practicing the no/few question thing. Consciously doing it I thought, hm, how's this going to work in this context? Well, you'd be amazed, people just keep going on and on and things just grow organically.

Answer #2: I have to also address Peko's other question since I found a great way to deal with this myself. Get an air filter for your room and turn it on whenever you want a little peace. You'll want one with different levels (hi to low). My therapist used white noise machines, but I like the filter because it cleans the air at the same time.

Question: I feel like I sometimes exercise poor judgment in personal interactions - my impulsivity can get me in trouble. As long as there's nothing to get my attention, I'm fine. So I've managed to actually limit my interactions. BUT, once in a while, trouble comes around on its own and I'm almost frozen for not knowing what to do. I don't want to do the wrong thing in any direction. Any advice?

Think before you speak.

I want to find the perfect exercise for my body type. What do you suggest. I'm an endomorph.

Answer: eat healthy, small meals, and many of them per day. Do some weight training to work your muscles, and also plenty of cardio.

Question: Do I switch to a daytime schedule at work to avoid sensory/people overload breakdowns, even though me and my spouse's schedules will then conflict and we'll have a hard time seeing each other?