"Just be yourself"

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I am interested to hear how many people have had that said to them......and ......what does that mean?

Intellectually, imo, it means to be "your authentic self".......ahah.......yeah....okay.

If I was to be my authentic self, I would be placed in a bubble with a view of the ocean, the latest Stephen King novel and algebra problems. Not to mention the most recent season of Ren and Stimpy, Spongebob Squarepants and True Blood. No phones, no talking......and complete silence while I contemplate taking over the world. A Hannibal Lecter mask may also be applied intermittently.

Is my authentic self ready for the world......or is the world ready for my authentic self?

I doubt it.......

With a society driven by plastic, perfection and performance vehicles.......I am sorely lacking.

When humanity states that authenticity is the spiritual pinnacle of happiness and self-fulfillment, yet behave in the exact opposite way, I flounder around in this gross deception.

And I am a victim of the "just be yourself" propaganda........I have told my son many times.

I wonder if he looks at me in the same confused way that I find me looking at myself 36 years later.

Besides how can I be my authentic self, when I have no idea what my authentic self is? Nothing is authentic when it is observed. Just by the nature of observing me, I am changed.

Stumped on that one......

Mics

"Just be yourself" means nothing these days. We can't be ourselves with everything that we have invented for ourselves. It's all "plastic perfection" as you put it, every single bit of it. The only way we would be our authentic selves is to go back in time and live as primative homosapiens. That's how I interpret it.

I've been told to just be myself many, many times...too many to count.

What they really mean is 'Be yourself, my way, or I won't like you.'

I be myself, being the Mod-like Kinks fan, that I am. I'm actually more indistinguishable from the adults in my area. I also get a lot more respect, as well. Being myself works for me.

I'm half of myself when i'm in public but when i'm on here, im surprisingly myself completely and it seems, there isn't any problem
So I shall remain as myself...

If i was myself, even a version of myself that followed the rules and laws of society, i wouldn't have a job or wife.

This seems to be one of those annoying social niceties people say to make themselves feel better, without really giving it due consideration. Its effects are also exagerated to autistic people becuase we are more likely to be acting a certain way as a calculated decision which is unlikely to be changed simply on the basis of 1 comment (where as NT's are more likely to be acting without really considering it or realising they are).

I see this as similar to your boss saying "it's 6pm, get off home, you shouldn't be working this late" while doing nothing about your current workload, so sure i *could* go home, but i already knew that and i'm here becuase i've taken the decision this is the best course of action to prevent issues tomorrow, or based on future plans, such as the fact i'm going out tomorrow night. Regardless, giving me extra resource or reducing workload is helpful, telling me to reverse a decision i've made to stay late is not.

It is however (so i'm told) considered "kind" and so i'm suposed to respond apreciatively and consider the boss thoughtfull and caring, even if he's not being helpful, poorly considered the situation and acting in his own self interest only

Yeah, just being myself is a recipe for alienation.

Actually plastic is quite interesting... it's sad that it gets such a bad name.

"Be yourself" is something people say if you express any anxiety about how to behave in a social situation, and also if they think you are putting on any kind of act.

Unfortunately it absolutely does not mean "be your authentic self". The best thing to do is to look around at the other people, look for some who are the same age and sex as yourself, and set your clothes and behaviour one notch more formal and courteous.

I think you guys are being a little defeatist.

You don't have to do everything everyone else's way to fit in, it might help a little in the short run but it won't earn you the respect or admiration of others.

I think part of the reason AS people tend to have a hard time is that they are too nice about their situation. They are quick to assume they are the ones that need to change to accommodate others, and that the way everyone else does it must be the right way. If someone picks on them, they hide inside their shell.

I don't talk a great deal, but when I do, I'm not going to waste it trying to make others satisfied. I believe that at least with some people, this can earn you respect that you can't get by just trying to fit in.

Speaking for myself, it's 100% not defeatist, it's standing up for myself, working with what i've got, actively pursuing what i want in life.

I want money and to be able to do the things i enjoy. I want a good job which gives me freedom, flexability and pays well. To achieve these things, i must act a certain way, copy, pretend and supress.

This is not accepting defeat, this is being pro-active and taking charge. I am making a choice.

I tend to be grounded in the real world around me. Noble gestures of being who you are and standing up for your right to be different and saying everyone else needs to change as much as you etc etc don't really work in the real world. Sure maybe in the long term, maybe they help long term awareness or furhter a cause, but for you, right now, you're still the one being laughed at, or ignored, or constantly in arguments, or passed for promotion, or getting sacked, or having no friends.

I'm the one manipulating society into letting me into their group for my own purposes, even though i have little respect or interest in what they're doing.

To me, it means do what you naturally do, don't just do what people want you to do. Of course, when most people say those words, they don't actually mean it at all. But using my definition there, I like being myself.

I understand what you're saying, and I'm not saying you shouldn't try to fit in. I just don't entertain some of the more obnoxious things 'normal' people might do (e.g. not minding ones own business as in the another thread). Socially, any crimp this puts on things probably involves people I don't really care to socialize with. My main point is, I've noticed people with AS are too quick to accommodate or apologize. I've seen other people ("NT" types) make similar comments (AS people are too nice for their own good). Accommodation and apologizing is not the same as actively participating in the world.

And, waiting for a promotion is not the fastest way to get ahead in the job market

I think the too nice and appologising stuff probably comes from poor judgement.

NT's do something, they have a pretty good idea if it is good or bad and how good or bad it is.

Aspies do something and, speaking from my own experience, sometimes are completely baffled by the reaction.
I get annoyed when heaps of praise come my way for doing either easy things or something that just happened to be good, it wasn't designed to be especially. The reason for this annoyance is it shows a lack of inderstanding and i know the flip side is the same lack of understanding when i'm putting huge effort in or doing something extremely self sacrificing.

So the other side is when people suddenly tell you you've done a really bad thing, or just start crying, or don't talk to you for weeks. You have no idea what you've done or said or how anyone could possibly have fallen out with you. But you know it happens a lot so you know the common denominator is you, so regardless of how you feel or idealistic sentiment, you did something wrong, so you appologise for the thing you're not really sure about.

Once you're in a position of accepting that you often upset people in ways you have no idea about, it's hard not to appologise for it or to stand your ground and assume it's the other persons fault.
Blame me for an error in my work and if i don't agree i will argue my point and refuse to accept the blame or appologise, becuase i am damn good at it and know my stuff, but tell me someome had an emotional reaction to what i said and i was kinda rude to them and i have little choice but to take their word for it.