Talking out of turn

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How common is it for autistics to talk out of turn? I tend to do that all the time. If it is common, why does this happen? How come autistics don't have the social skills NTs have? It sucks.

Ahhh! Yes it does suck! I've gotten better at it but at times have something I really want to say so I say it then mom/dad will be like "we were talking and you interrupted NOW WHAT WAS SO IMPORTANT THAT YOU HAD TO INTERRUPT OUR CONVERSATION! Me: Nothing no big deal etc. Mom: NO TELL US WHAT WAS SO IMPORTANT! Me:random cool fact about a movie *insert special interest here* Her: SO YOU INTERRUPTED US JUST TO TELL US X!! ! Me: Uh I guess (goes off to room)

I do this a lot. I seem to have a knack for starting to talk within a half-second margin of other people. It's misreading nonverbal cues, and a lot of us do it. For me it results in a lot of:

Them: So anyway as-
Me: I just meant tha-
Them: Oh, um.
Me: Um.. Sorry, please continue.

Etc, etc, etc. It's awkward.

That sucks Zelda. They really sound like they don't want to understand you. I can relate though. When I get thoughts in my head I just want to share them.
These days I tend to stay quiet while people talk, then I'll find some way to make what I want to say not sound completely random. Or I'll just keep the thought to myself.
But I have interrupted people's conversations in the past and have been scolded for it.
People have a choice with me: either I say nothing or I interrupt to get a word in edge wise. I usually go with the former, because I'm just so damn polite.

dt18: if we had the social skills NT's had then we wouldn't be autistic. We can kind of learn them by rote memory. If you really want to be social just keep practicing. In time you'll get better.

Hmmm, zeldapsychology, today something like that happened to me. Something randomly popped into my head and I said, "Whoa," or, "Wow," or something. But I just wanted to leave it at that--after all, it was me accidentally blurting something out. I just wanted to finish our conversation. But the other person asked what it was. I told him I made a realization, I said, "It's no big deal. Nevermind." So he insisted, "What? Tell me." And I told him my reason--even though it was insignificant (similar to your random movie fact). He didn't take any interest to it at all, even though he insisted for me to tell him. ...Ugh.

I do also wonder why we talk out of turn. I have done this my whole life.

I do this a lot but I am getting better at it.

I do. In a conversation I just can't found when it's the right time for me to talk.

This is a problem for me. I deal with it by making an effort to slow myself down and try to pay attention to the other person, at the same time controlling the anxiety that I might screw up and make a "I wanna eat you"-face if the person is attractive. I find that people almost always want to talk longer than I think is necessary to make a point, which is excruciatingly annoying, but necessary. I mean, well, who do I think I am?

Someone told me to listen for "down"-notes in a person's speech, which (I'm told) throw up a flag for a response. For instance, someone says "...so the work is good for now," and they say "now" in a relatively low pitch, followed by a pause and/or the person making eye contact with you for longer than a second. This may be a cue for you to reply. I've found it to be often unreliable, though, and I think everyone has different patterns. I've also yet to decode pauses, someone will pause and then I'll start to say something, but then they'll start talking again. Later I'll sense that I'm supposed to talk, and it doesn't make sense to me. It's important to not get butt-hurt about it, because anger and anxiety use up brain bandwidth which you desperately need. I'm still chipping at this.

Sometimes the situation might explain a one-sided conversation, for instance the first call from this graphic designer I'm supposed to work with. She sounded nervous. I think anxiety makes people interrupt because they're trying to "smooth over" the last thing they said.

That's something that I've been working on, for years. I think that from now on, I'm only going to speak, when I'm spoken to.

We've all heard them talk. They function on a steady diet of unimportant words. It's called "small talk" or some such nonsense. Depends upon the situation.

Well, I've had years to examine my own problem with this and have come up with a variety of possible causes. So, for my part, these are things I recognize as causing this:

My upbringing: I grew up with little parental guidance and even less positive parental guidance in a large household of very rude siblings. I cannot overestimate the importance of very specific guidance in learning social give and take.

Eagerness: In wanting to share the wonderfully interesting thing I have to say, and out of a very real fear of forgetting it before the chance returns, I blurt it out.

Control: Immature of me, but I believe under the surface I also want very much to decide where the conversation goes. But even at my best...

Delayed processing: I sometimes have only paused to form my next sentence, and someone else takes that as their opportunity to respond. In fairness, they should get that chance... but I always have so much to say and take so long to form it into words! It may not be important, but I have it and I want to say it. And thus I am often in the process of starting to say that next thing when they begin to speak.

Other: only after these specifics do I suggest the possibility that we're missing cues. I don't feel that I am, I do feel like I'm the only one who didn't get the script for whatever the conversation is about.

I have it and I think irishwhistile is right about the control thing too, I think it's impulse control. I learned horrible habits from my dad who is a narcissist so every conversation is about him and controlled by him and if you bring anything up he either brings it back to himself or changes the topic to one he can control. He interrupts horribly, when I was little he used to interrupt me over and over again just to make me cry. I stutter occasionally but looking back I'm glad I didn't develop a full-time stutter, it could be alot worse. But I didn't learn about being social but even worse my mother always told me my dad was great with people so I thought that was the way to be. It's really only within the last 5 years or so that I realize how bad an example that was and now I basically have to relearn everything I learned. It's taken me a long time to realize how much wrong stuff I took in. Being in twelve step helped because you have to sit and let everyone talk and finish without interruption. Thank god for that because it really has helped me, plus with learning scripts. Before AA I didn't even know the 'hi how are you' / I'm fine, you? script. I always assumed no one really wanted to talk to me anyway (more family of origin stuff). I'm not great but I'm a lot better than I used to be.

I always try to wait until the person talking is finished before I commence to talking. I, myself, hate getting cut off whenever I'm talking, so I try to show other people the same courtesy.

I do this all the time. I'm not sure whether it's due to misreading nonverbal cues, but I chalk it up to possibly having CAPD, which I've not been tested for, but seem to have similar issues at the very least.

I don't seem to have this problem with everybody (at least I can't tell by their facial expressions, as they don't say anything and the conversations seem fine to me) but the subset of people I do have this issue with--They seem to go out of their way to derail the whole conversation (if there's multiple people) just to tell me to shut up basically, cause THEY weren't done talking. They never tell me when I interrupt the other people, just them.

And I KNOW to wait for my turn to talk... I just can't seem to perceive it. My advisor, who knows I am AS, knows I have this issue and sadly, he's one of the people who seems to frequently be offended by my behavior. What's really bothersome, is he thinks he can CURE me of this behavior by telling me I'm interrupting him. I keep telling him that I understand the concept of taking turns, but that I keep thinking he's DONE talking. How am I supposed to undo that? By the time he's done being pissy with me and asks what I was going to say, I have no idea anymore.

Seems like no matter how hard I try... I can't seem to unlearn this behavior. The only thing that seems to work for me, is to avoid these people who seem to get annoyed talking to me. As for the other people, sometimes I am able to catch myself interrupting them, and I DO stop and listen and it has (repeatedly) never been an issue... But I just don't need to be reprimanded in the middle of a friendly conversation.