"You don't try new things"

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Does anyone get this? It's my mum's latest catch phrase for me. She wants me to go out more and socialise. Why? I'm trying to but every time I have a social encounter it ends horribly. Take for example going to a wedding reception. I was all keen for it. Really told myself that I'd be ok. I was completely overloaded and didn't want to talk to people. The only good thing about that day was that my sister and her friend noticed this and made me move to a quieter spot. My sister even said I could leave if I wanted to. My mum would just yell at me.
She also wants me to go to a Star Party; where amateur astronomers get together and view the night sky together. I have a bit of performance anxiety about that.
I don't want to go out and meet new people. Why can't she just accept me the way I am?
Basically she thinks that if I think I can't do something I won't do it, which is not always true. I'm still having problems with my telescope, but I'm not giving up on it. I do go out and attempt to be social but I end up feeling even more miserable. Doesn't my mum know that social avoidance keeps me sane?
All my life I've never had an interest in people but have made a few friends, and I'm fine with that. I'm better on my own and can learn things on my own (with the help of the internet).

Should I just fake being social so she thinks I'm at least trying? Should I just remain the same? Should I become even more withdrawn (ya know, to be rebellious)?

I think trying to change for her will probably damage you. Don't start that at your age. Many of us here have faked most of our lives and end up in a breakdown. I am sure you have read the thread about the Aspies who have mid-adult breakdown. It is from trying to change to fit in with the NT world and trying to be someone we are not. If you avoid that trap now you will save yourself a lot of extra pain.

That said, a star party may be easier than a wedding reception. You will be outside at night, so eye contact is not expected, and the attention is on the sky. I went to one at my daughter's elementary school one year. I found it so much easier than many of the other school functions I had to fake through. It was really cool to look through powerful telescopes at the moon and other planets and stars.

I've had a breakdown in my mid 20s, due to trying to fit in, with the NT world. I just be myself, and do what I please, within reason.

Or compromise. E.g. don't go for boring social events but go for stuff where interested, quiet eccentric ppl gather. Where you don't need small talk but just talk about your hobbies. To practise being with ppl, perhaps you could spend time with your family in the room doing your own thing but the important thing is that SOMEONE is in the room. It gives the impression you are nice but need your own peace. This tactic has helped me to become more confident around ppl.

Star Parties may not be as bad as a wedding reception but there's the whole planning to get there. I don't drive and my mum always works. There's also the whole 'I can do this by myself' thing. I asked a question an Astronomy forum so maybe they'd help me out. They're so damn sarcastic and elitist over there though - another reason not wanting to meet up with people.
I just hate it how any hobby a person has has to be socialised. At least when doing drawing and photography I can be left on my own.
Yeah, I don't want to fake it. I'd feel horrible inside. I keep a lot from my mum and she just says that I'm making my problems seem worse. She just keeps being worried about the future and what will happen to me, while I take each day as it comes.
The thing is I thought I was doing so well. I force myself to get up, shower, do household chores, spend a few hours on a few special interests, make my own food, go to work (though I can't right now because they still haven't got my computer back) and even go to bed on time. I do things so much more organised than my mum, who sleeps in and eats meals whenever she wants and goes to bed late. Thing is I don't complain. I just ignore her. Why can't she just ignore the fact that I don't want be social? I have friends and we do things maybe once a couple of months. I go to places like Sydney on my own. I'm going for some autism awareness month thing. So it's not like I don't do anything or I never see other people.

Your mom is right about the cause, but wrong about the degree of intensity that you can handle.

I was fired from a job with the explanation of "you just don't seem to want to try new things, Merle."

so, yeah. You can get it from all sides.

Merle

This is one of the times that I realize that no matter how irritating my mother is at times, she's much more understanding than most peoples. She doesn't bother me to go out (except for family functions) nor does she ask me to be social.

I suggest you just do what you want to, if she's angry then that's her problem, not yours.

your mum sounds a bit like mine, except mine wants me to hang out with her and her boring domestically minded friends, and will not allow me to visit my nice and intellectual paternal distant relatives, just becase my dear great-aunt lectured her while cooking. Honestly I come to realise my dad's side has Aspie traits - less severe - and I feel more comfortable with them. It's her bloody inferiority complex.

My mum does ask me to hang out with her friends, in the non-straight forward NT way. "I'm going to have lunch with sos and so...if you wanted to come." No thanks. I hate her gossiping friends. I actually can't be in the same room as them.

I think you're mum's coming from a place of love. She wants you to be happy and thinks that social engagement will get you there.

That said, I really get where you're coming from, pensieve. My mom is a hyper-extrovert who only wants to surround herself with bubbly extroverted people (who, like your mum's friends, do nothing but gossip). She wants to make me fit into this mould of extroversion, and I prefer to spend days and weeks in a room surrounded by books. She just can't seem to believe I can be happy without being her kind of happy. Oh well. Maybe she'll get it eventually.

it must be hard since you and your mother live under one roof. have you consider moving out? my mother is a bit like yours, even after explaining to her how i feel etc, she would show more understanding for a little while but it never seems to stick. she'll start nagging again not long after as if we've never had a discussion about my difficulties.