Saw the Neurologist today

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And as I expected...it was total waste of time. I gave the neurologist as much info about myself as I could in the short amount of time I was alloted. The short shrift is par for the course with most doctors of course, especially ones government agencies like OVR send you to. You know....you get as much justice and healthcare as you can afford in America eh? He only made copies of one of my neuropsych evals (out of the five I brought with me) and then just checked my reflexes, etc....and told me everything is fine. I asked him if he felt neuroimaging (like fMRI, SPECT, PET.) could tell me anything more about the learning/memory problems I believe I have and he said no. I pretty much knew that as well, but nonetheless, i'd STILL like to undergo an fMRI, SPECT, etc. Frankly....I take just about everything ANYONE tells me about the brain with a major grain of salt. So many very critical (and seemingly very basic) things i've been told by the *professionals* (and laypeople alike) are totally inconsistent with my own experiences. Furthermore....even the best IQ and memory tests are about as diagnostically useful as tea leaves and goat entrails. That said....until maybe....idk....GOD......can assure me one of these scans wouldn't be able to tell me anything further about my brain and it's staggering malfunctions, i'd still like to have one.

But alas....it looks like I won't be getting any fMRI's anytime soon. If this neurologist would've recommended one, OVR would cover the cost. I can't afford them out of pocket and my insurance won't cover them.... so that's that.


Keep in mind, this was OVR's hare-brained idea, NOT mine. You see....as required...I brought all my neuropsych evals with me when I reapplied for services at OVR. Since my most recent eval was administered over three years ago, my case worker told me, IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS, that they would need to send me to a PSYCHOLOGIST to undergo a more current one. Since i'm interested in getting some neuroimagining done anyway, I asked her if OVR would cover the costs of that IF the psychologist felt it would be useful. She said they would and I was expecting an authorization notice to make an appt. with one of the psychologists they have under contract.

Well....I was somewhat perplexed when I received an authorization notice for a neurologist instead. I called my case worker to inquire about all this and she said "based upon what you told me, I thought neurological exam would be in order instead". Ummm.....first of all....if that was her judgement...I don't know why she didn't say so the day I met with her. Secondly....I don't know what possessed her to think that a rudimentary NEUROLOGICAL exam could determine ANYTHING about the learning/memory problems I feel I have ( which I shared with her). I mean for f**k's sake.....if an fMRI can't tell me anything in this regard, what the devil did she think a basic reflex-checking neurological exam could determine?

While I doubt a psychologist would've recommended an fMRI/SPECT/PET irrespective of my results on another neuropsych eval....I am CERTAIN he/she would NEVER see the point of a rudimentary neurological exam that any idiot health "professional" with a certificate from a diploma mill couldn't perform accurately

So thanks to my poverty.....i'm stuck with the bottom-of-the-barrel among the twilight-gropers of brain/behavioral "science" known as psychologists, neurpsychologists and neurologists.

I find it tragically ironic that we know more about a seemingly lifeless and inconsequential (to us at least) cosmos than we do about this 3lbs clump of goop 6.5 billion of us have between our ears.

This is why I think the "I'm diagnosed and you're not" mindset is so unfair. You have a detailed comprehensive understanding of what your life has been like, not a neurologist who pokes at you a few times. My son was assessed in such a way at age two and he was declared OK. They asked no questions, just tested his reflexes. Three years later the preschool for the developmentally delayed (because it was obvious at that point) wanted him assessed by a child psychologist and he was diagnosed with Asperger's.