Ever FEEL like your parents don't like you?

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rmgh
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26 May 2010, 6:27 am

I know mine like me, but sometimes, the way they are with me makes me feel like they don't want to know me. Sorry for such a negative thread. Anyone ever get that feeling?



tweety_fan
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26 May 2010, 6:34 am

yes. sometimes I feel like every single member of my family and my workplace hates my guts.



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26 May 2010, 9:15 am

It's not that they didn't like me, I think I was viewed as an annoyance and something in the way. My parents were both very religious but I wasn't so as long as I kept out of the way and didn't get into trouble then things were just fine. When I had a nervous breakdown my mother walked into the ward at the psychiatric hospital and then walked right out again because she couldn't cope with what she saw.

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26 May 2010, 9:26 am

Yes. A lot in the past. But then I don't think I was very likable.


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astaut
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26 May 2010, 9:42 am

They love me and they like me. I don't feel like they don't. Of course they get frustrated with me sometimes. My mom gets frustrated with my aspie-ness sometimes, and occasionally they get bored when I ramble about the same thing for too long.



ToughDiamond
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26 May 2010, 9:52 am

I always felt that my mum didn't like me, and I think I was right. Practically all I got from her was negative feedback. I disliked her as well, naturally. Not that she didn't love me - she was very upset when I was in hospital with appendicitis, and when I got complications she told me with tears in her eyes that she wished it were her suffering instead of me. She would probably have willingly died to protect me, but loving and liking can be very different things. Probably explains why I usually end up with an almost overwhelming feeling that partners basically dislike me. Mum and I got on better after I'd grown up though.

Dad liked me. True, there were times when I sorely tried his patience, especially in my teens, and he said a lot of unkind things to me and about me over the years, but mostly I got the feeling he was rather proud of me.



Assembly
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26 May 2010, 9:58 am

I never understood the concept of loving someone, never showed much affection towards my parents, even as a small child. I just know that I'm supposed to do what's right, what's best for others, that's all there is to it - no intense feelings or other mumbo jumbo. It's easier for me to understand seemingly 'good-hearted' action trough concepts such as responsibilty/personal gain/commitment/guilt/ethics. Thats why I don't think my parents (or anyone else) love me - maybe they want whats best for me, but love? It's something so abstract and irrational that'll I never understand it, in fact i'd say it's not something to be understood but to be felt. Feelings such as love may come easy for some, but it's something I've never felt - and never will feel.



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26 May 2010, 10:49 am

rmgh wrote:
I know mine like me, but sometimes, the way they are with me makes me feel like they don't want to know me. Sorry for such a negative thread. Anyone ever get that feeling?


Yup. The times when my parents act very nice make me feel guilty for it, but where are certainly times where I feel they couldn't care less about me.

Though, no matter what happens, I know for sure they don't understand me. No NT really does.



rmgh
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26 May 2010, 11:09 am

Asp-Z wrote:
rmgh wrote:
I know mine like me, but sometimes, the way they are with me makes me feel like they don't want to know me. Sorry for such a negative thread. Anyone ever get that feeling?


Yup. The times when my parents act very nice make me feel guilty for it, but where are certainly times where I feel they couldn't care less about me.

Though, no matter what happens, I know for sure they don't understand me. No NT really does.

They'll be sorry when the cash is rolling in :lol:



Asp-Z
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26 May 2010, 11:24 am

rmgh wrote:
Asp-Z wrote:
rmgh wrote:
I know mine like me, but sometimes, the way they are with me makes me feel like they don't want to know me. Sorry for such a negative thread. Anyone ever get that feeling?


Yup. The times when my parents act very nice make me feel guilty for it, but where are certainly times where I feel they couldn't care less about me.

Though, no matter what happens, I know for sure they don't understand me. No NT really does.

They'll be sorry when the cash is rolling in :lol:


Indeed :lol:



CockneyRebel
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26 May 2010, 11:27 am

I used to feel that way, until the day that I got out of the hospital. I felt that my mum wasn't happy with me liking The 60s and The Kinks, again. I've phoned my mum, 5 times that day that I was released, and the last time that I've phoned her, she came to the conclusion that she must accept me. That, and the note that I've left, the night before I've decided to go back home.

I feel loved and accepted, now.


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Wobbuffet
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26 May 2010, 12:14 pm

I'm almost certain my father didn't. He seemed amused that his friends thought I wasn't "like normal boys" and was negative towards pretty much anything I said or did.

My mum has always been amazing. A lot of the time I think maybe I've let her down by doing stuff wrong or just forgetting/delaying/not getting around to doing stuff she asks, which makes me feel sad...but she's always been really patient with me and never shouted or been mean or whatever.



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26 May 2010, 12:48 pm

astaut wrote:
They love me and they like me. I don't feel like they don't. Of course they get frustrated with me sometimes. My mom gets frustrated with my aspie-ness sometimes, and occasionally they get bored when I ramble about the same thing for too long.


Same here.


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26 May 2010, 12:51 pm

Yes. I even sometimes wonder if they secretly wish I was "normal". They knew I might have some "problems" when they adopted me becuase my biological mother was low functning autistic and mentaly challanged but still, I wonder.

My mum gets SO frustrated with my autistic tendencies and when I suggested she join WP to get some more insight from the horse's mouth she said she dosen't need to because she read lots of books when I was younger (there weren't any AS books at that time) and that she could give the WP people insight. I feel like she dosen't get me and dosen't even want to. :cry:


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26 May 2010, 1:19 pm

Assembly wrote:
I never understood the concept of loving someone, never showed much affection towards my parents, even as a small child. I just know that I'm supposed to do what's right, what's best for others, that's all there is to it - no intense feelings or other mumbo jumbo. It's easier for me to understand seemingly 'good-hearted' action trough concepts such as responsibilty/personal gain/commitment/guilt/ethics. Thats why I don't think my parents (or anyone else) love me - maybe they want whats best for me, but love? It's something so abstract and irrational that'll I never understand it, in fact i'd say it's not something to be understood but to be felt. Feelings such as love may come easy for some, but it's something I've never felt - and never will feel.


That's me.

About like... Um I don't really think my parents "like" me. Maybe, my father is a bit more accepting about the way I behave, but not my mother. I kind of wonder if they wish I was like my brother who is more of a "normal" person.



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26 May 2010, 1:20 pm

It's pretty normal for people to feel that way about friends, families and co-workers. You can like and even love someone but find them annoying at times. I know when I'm tired and overstimulated I don't want anybody around and my feelings aren't to do with the people, but to do with me. When my kids start fighting I get very overstimulated. I love them but sometimes I want to put them on hold or mute.

Sometimes feelings of dislike go deeper. My own father never liked me. Thankfully I have a step-father who is better to me, though we had our difficulties growing up (mosty due to my untreated/undiagnosed ADHD which several doctors missed).

When my eldest son was diagnosed several years ago it helped a lot to learn about AS and ADHD (that's when I finally got mine figured out). Interacting with Aspies on here helps a lot. Understanding what it's like for my son helps me respond better to the stuff he does. Puberty hasn't been a lot of fun so far and I'm sure he thinks there are times I don't like him so much.