We have a WINNER!

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I just finished a meeting with an NT business associate and friend.

I was discussing communication and learning styles, he was discussing the 'social' aspect of business networking.

I took careful written notes during our meeting and reviewed them soon after (in order to input them into my long term memory)

I had an epiphany during this;

- IT DOESN'T MATTER whether you learn things intuitively or have to do so using logic like we do (EVERYTHING he said made SENSE to me)

-It doesn't matter HOW you GET there

- The ONLY thing that matters is that you can MAKE IT WORK

I CAN and DO make IT work


I (and other NTz) consider this person to be a master at 'socializing' BUT I understand (intellecutally) EVERYTHING that he explained.........and I can and have put this into practice already

AND..............

SO CAN YOU

Last edited by Blindspot149 on 13 Apr 2010, 7:04 am, edited 1 time in total.

I really don't have any idea what you're trying to say, sorry.

My guess is that "IT" is a neologism for the social differences
between AS and NT, which I think has been used that way a
few times recently, and he says that the social intuition can
work for him in the form of social logic... and it did work for him,
that he used social logic instead of social intuition... and he
talked to someone about the possibility of either type of
social skills working well and they agreed it is the result of
either kind of skill that matters if (as he says) they achieve
the same results.

Or... Vulcans and Androids can pass for Human (AS for NT).

That's what he's saying and its inspirational but whether
it works or not depends on the individual I think.

Thank you Val, that is PRECISELY what I mean.

I can get the same results by processing logically/intellecutally, it just feels like work, not fun

and that is why it exhausts Spectrum folks, it is a lot of work to do it from the intellect instead of from instinct.

However as a not a novice I need to tell you in order to make it work you need to adapt rather than just mimic. Yes you can use logic, however inherent behaviours (not those that are consciously thought) are instant. Therefore you are not going to have time to review everything, you need to bare this in mind when devising up with a strategy. People who are good at communication, often have inherent skills, which they are not aware of. All humans have these to some degree.

And the prize goes to the winner!

Great thread, by the way.

I get you
And I agree. I used to be incredibly awkward; I was an outcast who couldn't even connect with my own friends, and then I started dating a very normal, charismatic guy. He saw how awkward I was, and sort of "trained" me in the ways of the neurotypical hahaha. By now we've broken up, but I don't regret allowing him to teach me how to talk to people, because I learned a LOT! I learned intonation, gesticulation, expression... I learned which responses were appropriate, I learned how to assess a situation, I learned a lot about body language. Every social interaction is a conscious effort for me. It brings me back to when I did tae kwon do as a child and had to learn which block was a response to which attack, etc. But I can do it. Not as well as most people, obviously, but I can talk to the lady scanning my groceries now. I can meet my boyfriend's family and make a good first impression. I can do so many things that I never believed I would be able to.

So, I think what the OP is trying to say is that just because it doesn't come naturally doesn't mean we can't learn to do it over time.

Hi Blindspot, congratulations on your business success! I'm very happy for you and wish you continued success in the future, and also thanks for sharing such a positive message. I love those all-to-infrequent epiphanies. "Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right."