Do you get blamed a lot for things you havent done?

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But if you'd been the one who did it, why on earth would you go to the teacher and directly point it out? Seems like the teacher needs to learn a little thing called "common sense and simple logic".

Common sense does not apply when it involves hatred directed at someone because s/he is "different" or perceived as "socially odd." People driven by hatred like that are only hellbent on trying to destroy the person they target; they derive some sick, twisted pleasure from their malice toard an individual. This is especially the case when the tormentor is required to interact with the target in a situation such as a classroom or the workplace because s/he cannot just get rid of the target in some cases.

Sad.

I guess that's another thing I will just never fully understand. I don't know why people develop hatred/dislike for people who have done nothing to harm them. If someone is "weird", why don't people just accept that that is how that person is and that if they don't want to be around them they have the option to not be friends with them? Surely actively victimising them is just a waste of time and energy best spent elsewhere? Don't they feel remorse? (These questions are kind of rhetorical, BTW, I don't really expect anyone to have answers.)

It came as a relief to read here that I was not alone in this, but saddened that a lot of people are still having to go through it on a day to day basis.

One of the things I have discovered over many years is that being blamed for stuff I haven't done is directly linked to not being liked, and that like everyone else here, I was an easy target.

As far as I can tell most people no matter how professional or impartial they are supposed to be, treat people they like differently from people they don't. But NTs will lie to the death to save their skin.

And after years of gross injustice, I found myself in a job where I had 5 bosses and they frog marched me in a room one day and read out a list of things I'd supposed to have done wrong.

Out of the 11 items on the list, 7 were huge lies or exaggerations. I was only guilty of 4 and there was no way I was going to make those mistakes again because of how badly the boss(es) had initially reacted at the time.

Two of the things on the list I had already had a huge bollocking for, and not discreetly - but shouted at so the whole department could hear. When I pointed out the massive difference in the way I was treated compared to a colleague (when he once made a mistake, a boss went up and discreetly whispered to him what he should have done instead), all 5 bosses behaved like school children saying "No, we're all in agreement. You're the one in the wrong"!

They had set 30 minutes for the meeting (30 mins before home time), expecting me to bow my head, admit all the mistakes and say sorry. But I wanted to defend myself - so they all went home 40 minutes late! (and they were "disappointed" that I wouldn't agree with them).

I believe that our (AS) honesty is a huge threat to NTs because in many ways, we have stronger personalities than they do. We are not feeble cowards who lie, but the downside is that we are not taken seriously, so are not believed when we try to defend ourselves.

So now I have stopped battling with them and will only be employed by the one person who will treat me fairly - me.

PunkyKat wrote that she had told her teacher about the electric box being open, because she noticed it that way, not because she was the one who opened it.

I know you wrote, that your questions were rhetorical, and don't expect anyone to answer them, but if I might offer an opinion on why people do this, I hope you don't mind.

To the people who actively target others, I don't think it's a waste of time energy on their part. I actually see them getting energy and fuel for themselves out of it. So, therefore, to them, it's not a waste of time. Where does the hatred come from? I believe it comes from inside themselves. I believe that deep inside, they hate themselves and feel like victims, only they aren't aware of it because to acknowledge their own pain and self hatred, is too painful, so they project onto someone else making the other person "the victim", thus alleviating them from feeling weak, stupid, unlovable, alone, traumatized, neglected, defenseless etc.

I also believe that people who do this can instinctly recognize those feeelings of weakness etc. in others especially those with asperger's or autism. This awakens a rage in them that they can't take responsibiity for, so they project that rage outwards.

That's what I was saying, maybe I wasn't clear.



Yes, that is a good explanation. I guess when I say "understand", I mean I can never empathise with whatever goes through these people's minds when they make the decision to be like that. I don't like to hate or dislike people (and when I feel those things towards someone it's not a choice, it's a natural reaction to them having treated me badly), because negative emotions like that don't feel good or do anybody any good, they just eat people up inside until they are empty and bitter. So therefore I cannot empathise with the people who seem to be actually choosing hatred for hatred's sake.

That is so unbelievebly F-ed up for an adult to do that to a child!

Teachers did that to my brother all the time.

My mum and dad blamed me for things I didn't do. If dad's tools were out or missing it was my fault. Once when we had dial up internet someone hacked in and connected it everyday and I was blamed for connecting everyday. Not a simple 'do you know who is connecting everyday?' just 'you've been connecting everyday and now I've got this big bill to pay.'
And once the screen door was broken; that part up the top that when adjusted you can leave it wide open. Well I was blamed for that but really a storm destroyed that part of the door.

A teacher blamed me for graffiti I didn't do because I used to draw the symbol in my school book. I suppose I can see why he would but I don't know why people don't ask you 'did you do or know who did this?" They're always jumping to conclusions.

I hate that!

Or worse, they can't imagine that anyone would actually tell the truth, so they proceed as if they already expect you to lie.

I still deal with it every once in awhile now, especially at home. If someone leaves a plate in the living room, forgets to put a dish in the dishwasher, misses the trash, etc. I've done it on occasion, but I get blamed a lot for it these days. I don't get blamed for stuff nearly as much as I did when I was younger. I was basically a target in my early childhood. :/

Yeah, based on the old favorite: "Well WHO ELSE would be strange enough to do that?"

When I was younger I would get blamed for things that I didn't do quite a bit.
My (NT) sisters would as well. My oldest brother(NT) was the type (still is a little bit) that everything was always someone elses fault.
whenever we would complain to our parents we would be told to "just ignore him".


Has anyone ever taken the blame for something they didn't actually do because they thought it would fix things?

I have done this in the past (occasionally) and it just makes things worse.

I guess I got the belief from the times I was blamed for things I didn't do, that everything is my fault.

There is a phenomenon of teachers singling out a certain pupil for abuse. I was subject to this from a few different teachers. My mother thought I was the problem at first, but it became obvious to her when i got to higher grades where I would have more than one teacher throughout the day, and most were happy with me. Some teachers will join in with the kids' bullying of one student.

In earlier grades I was not very verbal, so I didn't stick up for myself and often could not explain why the teacher was sending notes home. After my mom realized it wasn't my fault she would tell teachers to quit sending her stupid petty notes about everything. She threatened to kick one or two teachers' asses, as well, LOL.

When mom went to school to become a social worker she learned about teachers who did that sort of thing, It is appalling, to say the least.

Most recently, I was accused of um..."deliberately" hitting someone when opening the door for them...my business partner was told of this..not me...and he responded (correctly) that how could I know who was on the other side of the door?...I am a complete villain to his "baby mamma" and any of her friends who associate with us..including the girl who keeps her bedroom in our library and has seldom said a single word to me, and I have been told that I terrify her because I am so terribly difficult to talk to...I recently lost it and yelled at the girl who is pregnant with his kid because she would not stop screaming at him and it was really doing a number on my nerves....I basically had a meltdown on her where i lost control of my emotions and said some really bad stuff in front of her.....and it is stuff that will not be forgiven...I am being repeatitive...I have mentioned some of this stuff already....I really hate being concidered to be so evil....I am troubled very frequently by it....and bugged by the fact that none of my friends are able to help explain things to these people who villify me...

LOL, Good for her! Some of these teachers have no business being around children. One of my son's teacher in elementary school was like that bullying him in her class room. I went ballistic in the front office. He was removed from her class promptly. Then I went into his room to collect his things and the teacher kept telling me over and over that her husband was coming to pick her up. I was so angry I wasn't paying attention to the dumb woman. Later it hit me that she thought I was going to kick her ass. I never threaten her but I gave everyone including and especially her a huge piece of my mind. The principal called me at home almost begging me to put him back into the school because they had qualified for special funding with him there. I believe it had to do with their lunch program because my income was low enough for him to received free lunches. The Superintendent of the school district was so nice. He gave me the books and lesson plans to teach him at home.



I believe it. It's horrible. I had a first grade teacher who screamed at me. But I was moved into another teacher's class room after that. Then I really had no problems but I had a child psychologist visiting me and two other children about self-control issues and a social worker visiting me at school as well. So maybe they were to scared too bully me.