Discrimination By Appearance

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Discrimination By Appearance
Andrea M., Braintree, MA

There is a full-length mirror in my bedroom. Often before I leave my home, I glance in this mirror. A quick look assures me that my appearance is okay and I go out the door to face the rest of the world. But do others see me as I see myself? How much of the real me does my mirror reflect?

Webster's Dictionary defines appearance as the "look or outward aspect of a person or thing ..." I would like to share some incidents where appearances were deceiving and could lead to discrimination.

One of my family's best friends is a person with Down's Syndrome. Last year, my family joined his family for a day of skiing. I was confident that this would be an easy sport to master. Was I wrong! When I fell, which was often, my friend with Down's Syndrome was there to encourage and assure me that I was not stupid or incompetent. He taught me to turn, stop, and even how to get up from my multiple falls. He was the best instructor; his patience, kindness, and willingness to help were unbelievable. Although an outstanding skier himself, he spent his day making mine enjoyable. I feel it was truly a privilege to see his many strengths, none of which would appear in the image portrayed in a mirror.

At the grocery store where I am a cashier, there is a lady who comes through my line every Saturday. By appearance, she is dressed very differently, walks unsteadily, and twitches repeatedly. To some, she is an object of joking and snickers, and I must say that, at first, I found her appearance disconcerting. Although she may appear unaware of this ridicule, I have noticed that she finds where I am working while avoiding those who mock her. Actually, this lady has taught me to look beyond appearance and see a lonely person looking for a friendly hello and acceptance.

Even the elderly, or perhaps most especially the elderly, are objects of discrimination because of their appearance. The other day I was in a nursing home. There was a white-haired lady sitting in a wheel chair with her head down, shoulders slumped and hands trembling. People hurried past her. Based on her appearance, it would be easy to judge her as an "old lady" with nothing much to do and less to offer. As I became acquainted with her, I learned she was fluent in three languages and even understood some of my Spanish - a very smart lady!!

Her eyes sparkled and her appearance even seemed to brighten as we discussed languages. What a loss of opportunity for those who judged her by her appearance as an useless "old lady" and ignored her.

I have heard it said that discrimination has many faces. I believe discrimination based on appearance may be even more subtle than, but just as devastating as its more blatant forms, based on ethnic, racial, or socioeconomic factors. A person's appearance, like a mirror, reflects only his or her outer self - an appearance which we need to look beyond. Our reactions to the deeper appearance of others may reflect the self not seen in the mirror - our inner self, our true self, our discriminatory or non-discriminatory self. ?



What do you think about Discrimination by appearance??Do you it s serious in our society ?? ....post ur thoughts.

I found this post to be insightful and a breath of fresh air.

I, like yourself, think that discrimination by appearance is an issue, a common one at that. This discrimination can range from being slight to quite bad, but this is the sad fact of society. A slight example would be this: I'm a natural blonde (my hair is now dyed black) and, as a blonde, I was spoken to by some in a different way that I get spoken to now, do you know why? Because they assumed that I was as thick as two short planks and many were surprised to know I was studying for a degree (the old misconception that blondes are stupid). Since my hair has been darker, I've been spoken to by some like I'm really smart. Like I say, this was a slight example. I've seen worse, like how you described people judging the old lady on her appearance purely because she was old. Or the kind of discrimination people with Down's Syndrome face. I also know someone with Down's syndrome and he is one of the most empathic, friendly and caring people I know and he is amazing at football. And yet I've heard people sniggering behind his back, scoffing at the idea that he can be a good footballer. This really irritates me but for him its like water off a duck's back. He shrugs it all off as he told me the only person he needs to prove anything to is himself. How cool a guy is that?

i had a similar experiance, im blonde but when i dyed my hair black about 8 years ago - i noticed people started to take my views more seriously! it's completely insane!
i like to think i don't pre-judge people and take them as they come. At the end of the day people are all people- nobody is better than anyone else. Just some people think they are.

When I went to public school, there were bigots. When in a private christain school there were no bigots, yet people who happened to have a different skin color then I were in the school. So it is not like there were no people to be discriminated against, also less stated perversions and dual meaning word perversions.

Society is ill, has been for some time, i'm happy not to be member of it most of the time.

W.P Strike

http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php? ... ic&t=12395

very good example fiz ...in fact I posted days ago in a local forum abt why many ppl judge blondes as dumbs .
No one replied

and to answer the question about the guy with down sydrome ....he is really cool!!

Most non autsitics don't know how to admit to their faults

Very true Jman, very true.

I think much of this has to do with the fact that many women that are blonde are typically unusually worried about appearance and beauty. From the people that I have met that are concerned over what people think about them and their own beauty, people persuing beauty more intensley almost always seem to lack a more logical, and common sense form of thinking of the world that would classify them as smart. See my post on "relentless persuit of beauty" I posted about a month ago in the "relationships" forum for some more details about this. Blondness has been typically seen as a thing of beauty in women, and many women that are not blond, but that are in an intense persuit of beauty, dye their hair blond in an attempt to elevate themselves in beauty.

I don't think natural blonds have created the dumbness stigma, I think it has come more from the bleach-blonds out there. I dated an attractive blond girl that was extremely smart. She was a natural blond too, and although she was very attractive, she was not as absorbed over persuing beauty that it took over her life as many as other girls I've met. She was very naturally attractive. Being attractive is usually not a sign of stupidity, but to me, one who is absorbed more in a PERSUIT of beauty typically lack smarts.

The blond = dumb connection usually doesn't exist in men as it does in women, although there's probably as many naturally blond men out there as women. I feel this is because men typically do not persue beauty and worry about their appearance as much as men. Men are much more logical thinkers, and usually don't absorb themselves in beauty the way women do. I'm not trying to say that women are dumb, and men aren't because women are more absorbed in beauty, but the likelihood of a dumb man dying his hair blond is significantly less, since blondness is usually not as much of an element of beauty in men!

Maybe this is a generalization, but it's someting that I've sort of

This happens to my son all the time, to a much lesser extent. He appears to be a boy of at least 14 or 15. His behavior and body language however is of a child of 7 or 8. In reality, he is just 11. From just laying eyes on him, people expect one thing, but then when he starts to try and interact, it completely confuses them, like hearing a man's voice coming from a woman's body is what one person told me.

I lost a great job I had about 10 years ago because the new broker came in and he didn't like "fat people". He said I was slow and lacked competency. The 55 agents disagreed, and said I was the best and most expedient office manager they ever had. He lost his two highest performing agents for firing me, and he ended up losing his job. A couple of years later he came into the company where I was working looking for a job. He didn't recognize me since I'd lost all the "baby" weight, and was really unhappy when he found out why he wasn't getting the job from the new broker at that agency - ME! Sometimes what comes around goes around.

Being black, I'm expected to ware large clothes, listen to rap music, and talk like an idiot. Also, my appearance is apparentaly nerdy by societies standards, so I've been messed with incessentaly in the past. I really hate it.

Also when it comes to women, it takes a lot more than physical beauty to make me fall in love with them. I hate it when girls (or people in general) think they can attract the opposite sex, or get what the world tells them whats important by becoming something they're not. I've noticed the girls I ended up desiring the most where the honest, intelligent ones who knew where they stood (though having a good body helps, as thats how I'm wired).

i personally allways thought blondes were smart. i personally have allways used my appearance to my advantage, the way felt on the inside was a lot different than the way i looked on the outside. I hope im not being to forward, I in the past let people think what they wanted about me, it made them predicatable. i have never thought worse of someone because of thier appearance

Being quite overweighted myself, I know first-hand about being judged for my appearance. Sometimes I get the impression that I'm not taken seriously because I must be seen as some sort of "comic relief". This is one of the (many) reasons I don't like meeting other people; they see me and they instantly think what I must be like, no matter what I say or do. They already have their own "mental image" about me. However, if I meet people on-line, by the time we actually see each other they already know me, so I never have this problem.

However, I think the real problem it's not being rejected for your appearance, but actually believing you deserve to be rejected.

Its seems that this sort of sort is less learned than hardwired in