So today was attempt #2 at getting a diagnosis...

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First I went to a therapist; he told me they don't do diagnosis, so I was referred to the behavioral sciences department of a local hospital. I called them, asked to set up an appointment for diagnosis, went in today, and she was just a regular therapist who told me she's not qualified or trained to do diagnosis... So now she's finally referred me to a place that actually does (and specializes) in ASD diagnosis, and they're going to call me back... some time...

I'm not sure how to feel about what the therapist said to me. She evaluated me and also ran through the DSM criteria for AS/ASD, and she said, "I don't know if getting an official diagnosis would be a waste of money for you; you're sort of on the fence with the criteria."
I apparently don't fit two. Because I have friends, I don't fit the lack of peer relation development for my age group (because, you know, clearly because my boyfriend's father has friends it means he doesn't have Asperger's, even if he's pretty damn well known for his Asperger's and is a member of autism speaks and all that...). Though a huge problem for me when I was younger was making friends. At the age when girls were forming their packs, I couldn't even find anyone who wanted to talk to me... I guess I should have been diagnosed when I was younger. I sort of wish my mother had done that.
She also said that one of the criteria (the main one that doesn't apply and has never applied) was a lack of sharing interests with others...
I just don't know what to say. I was under the impression that it was an autistic trait to dominate a conversation with one's own interests. All the people I've met with Asperger's do this. It's so common I'd say it should be included in diagnostic criteria, and yet the opposite is included.

So, I guess I'm wondering:
Is there anyone here with an official diagnosis that doesn't talk about/share their interests with others? I love biology and pathology and that's basically all I talk about... eh.

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Diagnosed Aspie here.

I've never had very many friends but the number has never fallen to zero. I find it hard to make friends and I tend not to keep them for more than a few years, but there's always been some. I can't beleive that Aspies simply don't have any friends, and I can believe that an Aspie can have quite a lot of friends. Depends on luck and and where you are......some communities are very friendly and accepting of people and they'll overlook the personality quirks as long as they're not harmful.

I voted that I do share my special interests, though really I'm somewhere in the middle. I've learned to keep fairly quiet about them because it's too much for most people to take in and because they aren't really that interested, so what's the point in boring them? On the other hand the urge to share them is very strong, and there was a time when I ranted on about them to anybody.......I'd have thought that was natural for an Aspie to do that, because we're supposed to be "mind-blind" so if a thing interests us, we tend to think everybody else will be interested as well. As you get older, you think about your experiences and you tend to realise that it's wiser to keep a lot of it to yourself.

I suspect that therapist doesn't understand AS very well. If I were you I'd take a few online tests and if your scores indicate that you have AS, I'd take that as more important than an opinion from somebody who hasn't given very convincing reasons for that opinion.

I'm diagnosed, although I question the validity of it (as I knew I would!).

I've always had friends, but I also have had at least eight people who were friendly with me that later were complete jerks to me, with me not understanding why. Despite having friends, I did have a lot of alone time in school. I didn't have a whole lot of friends, and most of those who I considered a friend when I was a child, I still consider a friend today, more than 10 years later. I haven't really made new friends since!

The criteria in the manuals are more directed towards a younger age group. As people get older, they of course learn. They learn to cope with their difficulties, but that doesn't mean they go away. It is harder to diagnose an adult because of that.

I share my interests with other people. In fact, those with AS are well known for sharing there interests. They enjoy their obsessions, that it isn't uncommon to fit it into a conversation whenever possible or talk peoples ears off about it. The criteria itself isn't about sharing interests specifically, but if I recall is more about a "spontaneous" desire to. Either way, that is directed at a younger audience.

AS is classified as a "developmental delay", not a "forever delay". Although to some, it might as well be a "forever delay".

It was said already by ToughDiamond, but that therapist probably doesn't understand AS very well. Despite the "awareness" of autism, it is still widely misunderstood. It isn't just enough for somebody to pick up a manual. To understand it, you must study and see it a lot. I've been reading about it for years now and still find myself learning.

Uh, you don't have to fit all that are listed in the first group. It specifically says that you only have to match TWO out of the four. And i think that part isn't just about whether or not you talk about your interests to others, most aspies do that.. I think it's also about whether or not you try to share experiences with other people(or at least whether or not you appear to do it like "normal" people do)... Like taking people with you to do something fun, rather than doing it on your own.. Or showing other people something you see that's funny so that you can enjoy it together. I think this probably applies more strongly to kids, also. I think i seek to share enjoyment with others, but i'm not great at the "sharing" part of it because somehow i just don't seem to connect with most people very well when i try to share my enjoyment of something with them. But if i see a movie i liked, i'll tell my parents it was good and try to get them to watch it with me because i think they will enjoy it too. So, on that level i can seek out shared enjoyment. And then i also talk about my interests(but, yeah, it gets monologue-y). But i don't do it on the same level that most people seem to. When i was little, though, i didn't try as much. It wouldn't usually occur to me to point things out to people or show other people something interesting.

I have had period of my life during which I had friends, but I never considered more than one or two people at any given moment to be genuine close friends. The rest I only knew because they were buddies with the couple of people I did consider friends.

At this point in my life, I have no friends whatsoever, and haven't had for years. All my friends moved away or apparently got bored with me, I don't hear from them anymore.

Back in the days when I had friends, I did tend to share my interests, but the friends I had were usually my friends because we shared those interests, so it was normal to talk about them constantly.

My interests have change somewhat since those days. My current interests I don't share with anyone because I don't know anyone who would even know what I was talking about.

I can't imagine how any Mental Health professional could make a determination on something like that based on one visit. Some days you just don't feel talkative.

I was just Dx a couple weeks ago. You need to see a psychiatrist, a neuropsych especially should know what they are talking about. Luckily my husband has a PPO plan thru work which means I do not need referrals to specialists. For most HMOs youneed the referral from a therapist. Sadly, there are A LOT of therapists that have no idea what they are talking about since there isn't much regulation or rules about what a therapist can claim. one told my Aspie (very clearly so) hubby to "pray" it away Another told him there was no way he could have it because he occasionally makes eye-contact. Well, he's in his 30's for crying out loud! Of course he didn't through that many years w/o learniing to micro manage something like that. So you kind of have to interview them to see if they actually know what AS is. Some have only barely heard of it in passing or have read a couple articles. Some expect you to be some kind of Rain Man or something.

As for talking about my interests- YES. That is my main issue. I have no clue what to talk about and small talk is foreign to me. I'm a talker- I ramble on and have no idea if the other person cares or not. I just assume they do. So people tend to have 2 reactions to that- either I am "extroverted", kooky, and "charming" or I am randomly weird and take over convos in a self-centered way. I don't realize this until WAY after and THEN I get embarrassed

My husband is the opposite. He has learned that people might not be interested, so assumes they aren't just to be on the safe side. He's quiet and prefers not to say much, unless he feels comfortable.

Just because you don't fit every single criteria for a diagnosis of ASD doesn't mean you don't have it. There are some criteria within ASD that I don't fit in, but I still have Asperger's.

The talking on and on in a one-sided way comes under the lack of social reciprocity for AS. Social isolation is pretty much the norm as per the DSM-IV-TR's expanded text....

The DSM-V is going to require you to meet all of them, well, the proposed changes.

It isn't clear cut about talking about your interests, so you might choose only to do your interests on your own but if someone asks you about them:

you might monologue and talk about them and only them non-stop

or you might only join in a conversation if they are about your interest

or you might only be able to start a conversation with your interests.

NTs converse together and constantly judge what to say, how long to say it, if to say it, how it fits in with the other people etc etc, NTs are all about making the group convo work, aspies are about being themselves in the group setting, they don't know any how to do the other things, it takes forever to learn how to do the group thing.

Some context: I am diagnosed. I am known among my peers for holding out, sometimes at length, on matters falling within my areas of interest.

However, my behaviour among peers is not a fixed entity. As a child and as a teenager, I was badly socialized among my peers. I was alienated from almost all of my classmates, sometimes only forming tentative friendships with boys (I went to an all-boys school) in higher or lower grades. I don't know whether it was changes in my behaviour or changes in my peers' tolerance (more likely a combination of the two) that allowed me to form more significant friendships in my undergraduate years (ages 16-19) and later.

Looking back, there is no question that I presented clinically significant impediments to forming age-appropriate friendships, and I presented enough criteria that I would have been diagnosable under either DSM IV or the draft DSM V, had either been available at the time. In my 20s and early 30s, I seemed to be passed those problems, but then I had a major crisis in my mid-30s that demonstrated my need for support, and led to my diagnosis.

Today, however, I have settled into a pattern of behaviour that works for me. When I am tired or stressed, I still fall into fairly typical Aspie behaviours, but by and large, I can get through the working day, my volunteer activities, and my social life. I have the support of a psychologist who helps me put issues in perspective, and to keep a more objective eye on my communication and my peer relationships.

So that brings me to the root question: what are you seeking a diagnosis for? As you can tell from your experience, diagnostic resources are not plentiful, and waits are caused by a higher demand for services than supply of professionals able to meet it.

Are the issues in your life that are creating difficulties for you? I wonder if those can those be addressed through counselling without the need for a formal diagnosis?

Do you want a diagnosis for personal reasons related to your own self-understanding? This is a perfectly valid reason to pursue a diagnosis, but not if it displaces a person who has a clinical need for diagnosis in order to access necessary support services.

I do not subscribe to the argument about the professionally diagnosed vs. the self diagnosed. As far as I am concerned, you are no less an Aspie just because you have foregone diagnosis, to find whatever help you need in other ways.