Constantly changing my mind

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Well, recently I decided to tell my parents that I thought I had Aspergers, so we went to the doctors, who has referred me to see a psychologist, however since then I've realised that both my parents don't really think so, they both just think I'm lacking self confidence, and it's just part of me growing up. One minute I'll be thinking 'Yes I do have AS', and the next I'm doubting myself again, I keep wondering whether to cancel this appointment if it's going to be a waste of time, embarrassing and something for me to worry about until it happens.

Just wondering what your views would be on the situation? If I list my 'symptoms', if you like, and then I can get another opinion on whether to cancel or not? Thanks

-I'm awful at eye contact with people, I hate it, and if I try to force myself to make eye contact I end up glancing at someone, then looking away again, and they must think I'm even stranger.
- I hate phoning places, and my mum always gets annoyed if I ask her to do it for me, for example phoning school to say I'm ill, Id rather go into school feeling ill than have to phone up. On the same kind of topic I dont like having to run in places, such as to pick up a takeaway or something on my own, again I'd rather just not get it at all.
- I'm not very good at making friends, and ive realised that I never really had to until now- I had a small group of friends in primary school, who then made more friends at middle school, so I accepted as a friend of these people too, and then again at high school my friends made more friends, who were then my friends as well- i just stick with people I know and they do the whole making new friends part! Now I'm at a new school I was lucky enough to know one person, and had previously met their group of friends before, so Ive stuck with them, but, even after almost a year I feel on edge with them- I like them and everything, but I just dont feel at ease yet, unlike all the other new people who joined in september and act like they've been here years.
- I'm not at all interested in make up or girly clothing, infact I had to wear make up for a wedding, and it felt like everyone was staring at me- I went and washed it off immediately afterwards and changed out of my dress for the rest of the wedding.
- I'm one of the oldest in my year at school, and yet mentally I'd say I still feel 12- everyone else seems so grown up, and i dont want to grow up! I can be immature at times, especially my sense of humour, but then at other times I get accused of being a bore, and 'a grandma', as my brother likes to say.
- I hate going to parties, and i dont drink, nor wish to, so end up getting left out of alot thats happening now, since all my friends are into going out to get drunk, which i think is ridiculous.
- I dont like change
- I get really really anxious about silly little things- a dentists appointment can have me shaking for the whole day at school beforehand- knowing the date of my tooth extractions had me getting worked up about it months in advance. Also, I did have a job, but I found it really stressful (I was working in a really small space on the till, having to deal with some angry customers sometimes, and being rushed) and would end up being ill every week before i went, until once I fainted, so decided to quit.
- Unlike all my friends, I'm absolutely dreading everything about University, and really dont want to move out or live away from home, let alone with a load of strangers.
- I'm putting off looking at Universitys because I dont want to make a life changing decision yet, I dont feel I'm old enough.
- I'm the most indecisive person in the world- we went on a school trip to France and were given the option of a 'parachute' jump (from a tower), or zipwire. The group split in two immediately, I however skitted from side to side at least 10 times!
- I've recently realised I think I have a heightened sense of smell- in biology I spent the whole lesson wondering where a fishy smell was coming from, no one else could smell it until my friend stuck her nose literally in the sink, when the teacher revealed they have done fish dissections the day before. Another time the bin was full up, and no one else seemed to notice, yet i ended up covering my nose for the whole lesson feeling sick!
- Ive always felt that everyone else seems to seamlessly know what to do in whichever situation arises, whereas I seem clueless. For example someone crying- my friends would put their arm round them or something, I wouldnt, I dont like hugs from other people, so I'd just sit there making odd remarks.
- I dont like going to the cinema as I hate sitting still for so long, I get bored easily.
- I'm 17 and my mum still tucks me in at night
- I generally feel really awkward in social situations, and feel like I stick out quite apparently as being uncomfortable in them.

And more, but I've just realised how much Ive written, and realised that it might be a bit boring for me to go on any further Please feel free to ask any questions though.

So, should I go or not, and does this sound like possible AS, or just normal socially awkward teenager? Thanks

Forgot to add that all I ever seem to talk about is my memories, or my cat ^^ And I seem quite obsessed with VW campervans, watersports and kayaking

I'm impressed. I haven't even got so far yet.
Whether it's Aspergers or not, I would still go. It can only clear up some paths for you.
I would definitely go, you made it so far already! (Telling you parents and going to the doctor).

I would say the doubt part is good. It means that you are not only thinking about it could be Aspergers, which means that you're most likely not a hypochondriac.

Thanks, yeah the reason I'd like a diagnosis is just so I can kind of get on with life, and I wouldnt have to feel so awkward about how I am because it wouldnt be my fault, if you see what I mean? At the moment I find myself wondering why I feel so awkward, but there's never been an answer to it, so having an answer would be nice

And yeah, I dropped it into conversation once before, ages ago, but it was kind of ignored, so this time I was more serious about it when I mentioned it. My mum did agree with everything I was saying about it at the time, but I think recently she's been watching documentarys and stuff about autism and aspergers, and since I dont get meltdowns and stuff, and most of the cases of television are alot more extreme than mine is, if i do have it, she thinks that perhaps I dont. However since its a spectrum disorder, I could just be at a different end I think. Good Luck telling your parents though ^^

Hmm, yeah, although when I went to the doctors mums reaction was that it couldnt do any harm just going to find out, however i came out completely embarassed as I went in, and forgot everything i was planning to say, and made a bit of a mess of it really, so going to the psychologist might be the same...?

You never have to feel awkward about yourself, you are the same person coming in, as the one coming out, and the only one who get's to know the answer would be you.
I don't know if you get what I'm saying, but i hope you do.

But yeah!, I can imagine how i would feel like if I got a diagnosis. It would be somewhat great!.

Going in to the psychologist could very well be the same as going the doctor-visit. But hey, the main-idea is to be yourself, and how could you be yourself more?
I know that you're probably not like that every day, but it still shows some valuable things to the psychologist.
As far as I remember a psychologist cannot diagnose, only psychiatrists.

Thanks for the luck-wishing, I think i might need it.

I find that I constantly change my mind, as well.

When I was diagnosed, I brought a list of things that I thought fitted AS symptoms. I would definately advise you to copy what you have written on here and print it off. Also try and write stuff about your past. If your parents are willing, ask them what you were like as a baby, toddler, child etc. Also note down anything you rememebr about being a child. For me, it was lining up counters, collecting crisp packets... don't ask... and talking NON-STOP about Pokémon. Don't try and pretend to be someone else... that is a coping strategy I seem to have taught myself... it can mask the AS quite well! I hope it goes well

What the * did I just wrote there.
"You are probably not always youself..."

No what I meant was of course that you might not be so quiet every day.
I think Jellybean is giving some really good tips there, hold on to them. There are lots of people in here who have loads of experience.

CockneyRebel: But you always fall back to a couple of things, right?
That's one of the reasons that I would really like a diagnosis. So I know that what I'm thinking it is, is true.

I have almost all the symptoms that you have and I was diagnosed with Aspergers a couple of months ago. Those symptoms you mentioned are very likely Asperger's Syndrome. Have you tried taking the Aspie Quiz online? The results are quite accurate. So if you want to see a specialist about your symptoms, go for it. I would if I were you. But then I can't make decisions for you.

Just go see the Psychologist and ask him to test you for it. Don't rest on an opinion, there are empirical tests to determine the presence and/or severity of a neurological handicap.

Just my two cents, but I think you're likely looking in the right direction. Follow up on it.

I never considered myself emotionally immature compared to those my age. In fact, many times, I felt, and I had been told that I was more emotionally mature.

I can't say if you have AS. It's somewhat irrelevant because problems are problems and most problems should be addressed, so to that end, I do think you might benefit from speaking to a psychologist our counselor.

Wow, thankyou for all the advice there ^^

Yep, I did get what you were saying there TheSpecialKid, that getting a diagnosis won't suddenly make me any different from before, and I completely agree, however I think it would help strangely enough to give me a confidence boost- as though I can kind of say, this is who I am and I dont mind, whereas at the moment I wonder why I'm like this compared to everyone else.

And JellyBean yeah, thats what i was planning on doing; when I went to the doctors I had a list with me, but it didnt go too well, so I ended up giving him the list, which he probably couldnt understand one bit lol, so I might write this next one out as more of a speech than a prompt card incase I do the same! Hmm, see thats one thing that makes me doubt myself here, is that I can't really remember any specific things that would point towards me having AS as a child, unless I just blended in with everyone else because they were all just as immature back then as I was, and only now is it showing more? I'll ask my mum though. Funny thing is, her and my Dad always said they thought my younger brother had aspergers as a child... and Ive got to admit he would appear to have had more signs than i did, but now he's older its as if we've swapped places. And I can definitely pick out many AS traits in lots of members of my family too... As for not trying to pretend to be someone else I don't think I do that often, I'm absoltely the worlds worst at lieing (sp?) and since mum is coming with me for this I wouldnt try and be someone else with her there (not that i think I would if she wasnt? lol)

HannaBananna, yes I took the AQ test online, if thats the one you mean? And it highlighted me as being in the category as someone with Aspergers, and at the higher end of that as well... I also took the EIQ test, about emotional intelligence, and although I expected it to be lower than average I was actually quite shocked at how low it was! I think it was like 57 or something, much lower than average.

Chronos, hmm yeah I think in some cases I act too mature for my age, such as my stance on drinking, and also with regards to worrying about what my brother is doing, he gets annoyed that I'm being his second mother! But then on other occassions, when my friends talk about more grown up subjects, i do feel like i should be covering my ears or something!

So, I think I shall go ahead with the meeting then (its on the same day as my AS stats exam, argh!) although I'm not looking forward to having to meet and talk to five strangers gah. Thanks for the help though