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zeldapsychology
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25 Apr 2010, 1:23 pm

Me/mom were discussing my past college behaviors and she mention I obsessed over the people and not the school work. She told me growing up I was the 1st one to answer a question since I knew the answer and if I'm not mistaken I've mention here that I wrote papers quick and would turn them in the following day (yet we had weeks to finish it) IMO this made the other students mad at me and hate me. :-( My mom's "normal" is saying Hi "julie" (walk on) or Hey Julie can you help me with this math homework. (Not hugging and getting up in someone's face excited OMG HEY HOW ARE YOU?! !! !) Just focusing on studies sounds so confusing!! ! :-( Her roleplay of Hi how are you etc. was ok and fine and all but I'm more "excited" type and eager. :-( I'm to the point perhaps not even TRY to make friends. Mom said friends will come they'll just happen and they'll be actual "friends" not (do homework for them type). I'm eager to see what the future holds and how/if I go back to College how my behavior can be. :-(



astaut
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25 Apr 2010, 1:33 pm

It sounds like your mom isn't giving all the explanation you need. I would ask her about a counselor that could help you with social stuff and give you some recommendations (reading, exercises, etc).



Callista
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25 Apr 2010, 1:36 pm

Yeah, she's just giving you a bunch of random stuff that doesn't have much explanation or reason behind it.

I think you'd better learn some scripts, just in case. One for greeting people you know (the "hey Julie" thing sounds fine); and some ground rules for class.

People you meet in the halls at university will often be in a bit of a hurry, going to class or something of that sort; so in order to avoid making them late, using a short greeting makes more sense.

For class:
Turning in papers early is not a horrible thing to do; but many professors would prefer to have them all at the same time, so that they wouldn't have so much organizing to do. You may wish to label them with their due dates and put them in a file near your door when you finish them, and grab them on the way out when they are due.

Answering questions in class: Wait about ten seconds before you raise your hand. You should answer no more than one in every five questions your professor asks; add another five for every fifty students in the class (ex. in a two-hundred-person lecture you should only answer about one in twenty questions).

Asking questions in class: No more than one per lecture. Large classes, less.

In most college classes, no professor will think any less of you if you never ask or answer any questions, except when directly called on.

These rules are more for other peoples' convenience (so you don't confuse the prof or take up too much class time) than for any other purpose.

Your greetings, in situations where people are not hurried, can be as enthusiastic as you want them to be. Remember that some people do not like to be hugged. You can wave energetically instead, if you want to, when you greet these people.


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pumibel
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25 Apr 2010, 3:31 pm

I would like to add that just because you wrote them quick and turned them in early doesn't mean the work was better. How were your grades on these papers? If you do them early, then keep them for a bit, reread in a day or so (depending on due date) to make sure they are your best work. If these are A+ papers then great, but I tend to wonder about anything that is rushed, you know?



zeldapsychology
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25 Apr 2010, 3:45 pm

Well Pimibel they were A+ material so that's no biggie. :-) Also Calista the questioning in class DID become an issue (a student mention a problem with the way she learned and my questions distracted the lesson) So the teacher asked if I could come on office hours (We all know how that turned out!!) Most people in College do seem rushed and I agree perhaps a hug is a little too extreme. :-) thanks for the advice. :-)