Family Embarrassing You?

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I've got a question for you guys. When you guys are out in public, do your family or friends ever do anything that really bothers you, that makes it even harder to deal with the anxiety? My brother (he's 18, by the way) and father act really immature when in public situations. My brother has really bad ADHD, does a lot of stupid stuff, says a bunch of embarrassing things, as does my father sometimes. My step mom is also pretty bad, she talks extremely loudly, and laughs really loud and I HATE it. They say stuff that turns people's heads and makes people look over in our direction, which only makes me feel even more anxious. I've told them to stop, but they don't seem to get the message and keep telling me to stop "ruining their fun". They don't seem to care, but on top of the anxiety, it bothers me to see them embarrassing themselves, and I really don't know why. I don't know if this is only me, but it's really annoying and I don't know how to tell them to stop or tell them to not be so obvious about it.

Anyway yeah, back to my original question. Does anyone you know do this type of thing while in public? Just curious.

My family could be hell in that way back in my teens, when I was still young and stupid enough to think that being normal was something to aspire to. They used to shrug off my complaints and remind me that I shouldn't care what others thought of us, which just seemed like nonsense at the time, but I know better now. Looking back at those times, it's my own attitude that I'm ashamed of, not theirs - I was just being stuck-up.

Generally, it's the onlookers who have nothing better to do than sneer at people for being abnormal who deserve to be frowned on, not the family that's just trying to relax and enjoying themselves.

Oh ya. My mom's been embarrassing me since I was about 4. The good news is that made me used to it and made everybody else look much nicer. I used to be shocked all the time when I first came to Canada that so many people seem to have good manners and genuine concerns for others. My mom said that's because people here are religious and don't want to go to hell. I didn't really believe that. I've met lots of caring polite people with all sorts of different religions or lack of. I had to conclude that my family sucks.

I can really relate, JCpatriots. I work so hard to 'blend in' and not draw attention to myself I cringe and internally writhe with almost physical pain when it happens around me.

However they aren't embarrassing themselves. They are embarrassing others, mostly you. If being embarrassed is some event that causes someone to feel shame for an inadequacy, that isn't what is happening internally with them. It is like they are using a "dog whistle" sort of behavior and those that can hear it are with whom they are playing. Not only do they 'not care' but they are seeking out that behavior in others, as well.

so, the only 'message' they are getting is you are a drag and a downer. bummer, dude.

Earplugs, perhaps or walking around with them with an IPod cranked up might be something to invest in. Make your peace with their behavior, because they are not going to change anytime soon.

I feel for ya'.
Merle

My mum says a lot of inappropriate things all the time. It makes it hard for me to keep my good behaviour up too. It doesn't add to anxiety, just my already short temper.

I think this is just a family thing. Everyone I've ever met has been embarrassed by their family (especially mothers for some reason).
I feel like I'm the only person who was never embarrassed by my mother... It was always me embarrassing her, not the other way around hahaha.

my dad is a narcissist and has to control every conversation. he has to control every interaction. he has to control everything, no one can be their own free spirit and contribute freely and breathe easy. I have a rule never to go out in public with him. I have been here seven years and I haven't done it once.

My families [past and present] have done things and can do things that embarrass me. For juist one example, talking about the fpood or the service audibly in a restaurant.

However, in such instances I do the turtle / rabbit thing and try to be invisible. I am the one OTHERS ask to stop embarrassing behaviors [like humming in public]

in the end it is not like they are hurting anyone. i think it is admirable to be like that and not care whether people are looking at you or not. it just means they are comfortable.

I don't have that problem.

My family doesn't bother me in public, really. The only time they bother me is if my little brother starts acting really badly, but that doesn't happen too much. There have been like two occasions in my life when my dad has almost gotten into a fight in public, but I have actually found it more entertaining than embarrassing The person on the other side of the fight is the one who needed to be embarrassed.

I hate when they tell things about me which I don't want anyone to know