Work issues and 'executive functions'

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I've occasionally seen reference to the phrase, executive function, put in context with situations where someone needs to plan and carry out a large, long, complex task, or follow moderately complex directions, or to do such things while 'thinking on their feet.' These are precisely the things I find myself failing at within the workplace. I'm hoping to find out more about this topic, and how it might relate to myself, and how others experience it.

Up until recently, I had come to the conclusion that I am simply astoundingly lazy. When I've been tasked with a long-term, difficult project that involves things I'm not good at, or seem pointless, my mind goes blank, everything goes blurry, I can't break it down easily. Usually it seems to involve physical labor, or sorting and storage.

A good example would be on one occasion, I was tasked with clearing out a very large office suite that my company (a data co-location center) had been using as storage for outdated technology and spare parts, and had become over-run with technology junk. Finally the company decided it needed to be dealt with, so they tasked me with disassembling, salvaging, sorting, disposing, moving, cataloging, fixing, or otherwise dealing with everything within that suite. It was a massive job, and had I executed it well, it could've earned me mad respect. But I most certainly did not execute it well. Usually I'd opt to do other tasks instead, leaving it as the last-resort task. Sometimes I'd ignore it entirely, and screw around with my time. And then sometimes, I'd summon the will to attempt to deal with it, only to find myself standing amid that sea of junk and would just... stare.... utterly overloaded and demoralized.

I made many little dents in it over time, which did eventually add up somewhat, but sum total, my performance was pretty damn bad.

There are many, many similar instances of situations like this where I get stuck with an ugly job that utterly shuts me down. The pattern feeds my depression in a huge, huge way.

My hope is that if I can understand the nature of this behavior better, if I can understand the theories behind it and executive function(if they're related), and find ways to effectively combat it, then I can work to dismantle what is currently biggest hurdle in my life.
And if all else fails, as a last resort maybe I can find the right medication for someone like me.

Does anyone have ideas, thoughts, experiences? Anything.... I'm desperate.

I score quite high with executive dysfunction.........examples

Go upstairs to get something and when I get there...................what am I doing here AND.............what was I doing downstairs before I came upstairs

I occasionally pick up the orange juice out of the fridge when I am reaching for milk to go in my coffee

However I am able to think on my feet and think very quickly on my feet in relation to creating business solutions and my business makes a good living from this..........

In short, I have a good processor between my ears and need a good manager to help me to be fully effective.

At home I have a wife who helps me to be more effective

Given a task like that, I'd have the same reaction as you did.

I think the issue for me stems from over-loading due to the massive clutter. The only way that I can deal with huge jobs like that is to break it down and systematize it as much as possible.

If I absolutely have to carry out the job in the cluttered area involved, I would need to organize it first, or else the visual of it will freeze me into inaction each and every time.

I just thought of an example, I had to do this a couple of months ago. I had to move out of my last home really quickly and put everything temporarily in storage but my personal belongings. It was all packed so quickly that nothing got labelled or organized correctly, so it went into storage like that. When I move into my own place again there is no way I want to have to deal with a houseful of unlabelled and disorganized boxes. It will be a nightmare. So, I had to go to the warehouse for 3 full days and unpack an entire storage locker of everything I own and repack it. It was a daunting task. The first day was the worst.

What I did was make a clear area in the middle large enough for me to get some visual "clear" space. Then I set up my organization area for my list papers and tape and other supplies. Then I mapped out sections on the perimeter where different categories of things would go. I set up a garbage pile. Then I set up all of my newly made up boxes in clearly categorized sections and rows with signed labels in coloured sharpie. The more organized I got about it, the more comfortable and less overwhelmed I felt.

Once I had my strategy down it was only a matter of sticking to it. I also took regular breaks to step out of the room.

After 8 hour in there the first day, I could barely get out of bed the next day, I was so tired. Not only was it physical with a lot of lifting and bending, but it was mentally draining for me. That was on a Monday. I went back on Wednesday and Thursday to finish it.

I find that taking inventory of what I have accomplished, by checking things off a list helps too. I also have to have music playing or I'd go nuts.

Nice system, and good call with the music.

Yeah, I'm petrified of the moving process. Not for being afraid of relocating, but for the prospect of putting everything in boxes, and packing, and unpacking, and unloading boxes, and replacing everything. The idea of it alone draining.
I've combated that stress with a minimalist approach to my furnishing;
I absolutely do not acquire any heavy objects, including heavy beds or heavy desks. I limit myself to the bare-minimum of stupid knick-knacks and decor. I try to find ways to get rid of my books. When people try to hand-me-down stuff, I usually refuse. My room is sparse and spartan and lightweight and easily mobile primarily just because I hate moving.

So does any of this relate to autism? Or executive functions? I honestly don't know, I'm new to all this, having only been recently diagnosed(hence my assumption that I'm simply irredeemably lazy).

well...uhm...i dunno...lol I thought my moving and storage analogy related to your computer parts room work dilemma?

You know, break down the job.

It relates to Asperger's for me in that I need order and systems and get overwhelmed really easily. I have to look up executive functions - first time I've come across that term, so thanks. You learn something new every day!

Oh gosh, if I ever had to clear out anything like you had to I'd be pacing like mad and biting my fingernails until they bled. My room is only clean because I put everything in boxes. My closet is a mess though. I could never properly clean anything.

Don't think of yourself as lazy. The difference between lazy and executive dysfunction is that the lazy person is capable of doing something but they don't do it, whereas with executive dysfunction something is holding you back from something you know you should do. It takes me ages to get out of bed in the morning, start or continue on with a task, or even move onto another task. Of course over procrastinating and distractions play a part but not always.

I had it about like that when I was younger, but when my brain got toasted (burnout) it got a lot worse. I.e. making lunch, or on a really bad day putting on a jacket became "challenging." I think at more subtle levels it can defintely seem like laziness, but when it got to where it was happening with pretty simple things over and over -- despite continuous maximal effort -- it became clear to me it's not due to lack of trying or not wanting to do something badly enough.

I think one thing to recognize is that it's good to have a some sense of overwhelmingness. It would be a lot worse to always severely underestimate what it's going to take and then crashing & burning over and over. I guess my point is that the perception is not irrational; there is a real difficulty and the brain is is issuing a warning message. OTOH too much overwhelmingness can lead to paralysis.

I try to break things down into smaller, maximally independent pieces until the overwhelming feeling is managable. It's still hard to keep track of the big picture, though. (I guess that's the "executive" part -- managing to make the small tasks work together to result in the completion of an overall big task.)

Heh, I think I have more adivce about how to make lunch et al than do anything truly complicated. For household stuff I sometimes find myself counting steps. Seems to help to keep on track without forgetting. I.e. open fridge = 1, take hand off handle = 2, grab mustard = 3, pull hand back = 4... (not that it's always that bad)


PS Be smarter than I was and don't just try brute force (200% effort all the time, ignoring all warnings signs of over-stress).

I have executive dysfunction. If the deadline is Tuesday, I do my work on Monday night or Tuesday morning. Moving the deadline to Friday wouldn't make me finish it sooner. I would naturally do the work on Thursday night or Friday morning. The closer I am to the deadline, the faster and more efficiently I work. The further I am from the deadline, the slower I work. With something I just despise doing I could sit there for hours and get little done because I have so much of an aversion.

Is that what executive functions are? I thought everyone - except our OCD brethren - worked like that.

I get around the deadline problems by setting milestones along the way, and around the working memory problems with checklists to remind me of the milestones.

And I use the aspie talent for seeing the whole problem to work out the best set of steps to get to the goal.

I think that although procrastination is normal, other people can just do things they dislike long before a deadline just to get them out of the way. If I am faced with something I'm averse to yet want to complete something just to get it out of the way. I sit down and either get distracted or frustrate myself trying to get motivated. It's incredibly difficult to think in such a state and get very little done. However, if I come back a few days later, I can easily get it done because the only thing motivating me is the deadline.
I think your way of going about deadlines is actually the best because you tend to catch all errors along the way.

I think that although procrastination is normal, other people can just do things they dislike long before a deadline just to get them out of the way. If I am faced with something I'm averse to yet want to complete something just to get it out of the way. I sit down and either get distracted or frustrate myself trying to get motivated. It's incredibly difficult to think in such a state and get very little done. However, if I come back a few days later, I can easily get it done because the only thing motivating me is the deadline.
I think your way of going about deadlines is actually the best because you tend to catch all errors along the way.

A problem is that when one mentions one's executive dysfunction, people often think that it's the same as normal procrastination. ("Everyone does that"). It can be really hard to explain. Sometimes they have to see for themselves what can happen when you have executive dysfunction, before they are going to believe it.

Yes, it absolutely relates to Autism. The same thing happens to neurotypical people in the early stages of Alzheimer's Disease, of course the cause there is plaque developing in the brain, where for us it's actually ret*d development of the brains' Executive Function that seems to stop our brains' Executive Functioning from developing much beyond adolescence. The parts of the brain that handle intelligence and fact learning develop fine, thus the 'little professor' syndrome Hans Asperger noted. It stays with us for life. Overgrown kids. Smart, overgrown kids.

I love writing fiction, but have the same problems working on a novel - if I think of it in terms of an entire book, it overwhelms me and my mind goes blank - the idea of creating a project that big and complicated completely shuts my brain down.

So, I have to work on one scene at a time and just string the story together as pieces of a linear serial. I was able on one especially clearheaded day to sit down and map out a timeline of events, so I have a basic framework to help me arrange the bits as I go, but the technique of outlining the whole story from beginning to end before I start is simply beyond my brain's abilities to muster.

Frankly, I find this notion frightening, and demoralizing. But, like so many other things, I'm sure it can be adjusted for, with forethought, diligence, and good habits, and can effectively combated.

I wonder if anyone has suggestions for reading on this topic more in-depth?

Well, I don't claim to know everything, but I turn 51 next week and I haven't found a workable 'adjustment' for it yet.

It's true that over the course of your life, you will learn coping mechanisms and behavioral adjustments that help you get by and fit in as best you can. But the central disabilities that make up AS don't ever really change or go away. The best hope I can give you is that some days are better than others. What a revelation, huh?

I know there are many here on WP who think I am overly negative on this point, but my intention is to be brutally realistic so that those younger than I am know what they're in for. If you were likely to outgrow it, or it could be willed away by positive thinking or talked out in therapy - it wouldn't be a handicap, would it? I'm not telling anyone that AS makes them helpless - absolutely not. Just don't get caught up in Pollyanna fantasies about how one day the difficulties will simply fall away and you'll be transformed and life ever after will be as fluid and easy as it is for all those neurotypical people around you.

Not bloody likely.

That having been said, there are rumours of a med in testing that is supposed to help improve frontal lobe function, which might be an amazing help, if it doesn't come with a mile long list of toxic side effects. If that is successful, it's probably the closest thing to an actual 'cure' any of us is ever likely to see, and it could achieve that without the 'loss of individual personality' that has concerned many of us when the 'cure' topic comes up. Maybe. I think. Hope so. You try it first and let me see what happens.

I'll second what you wrote Willard. I'm 48 and I've had executive dysfunction all of my life. I've also tried every known tool to combat it and yet it still persists, to my utter and total dismay and frustration with myself. I can't tell you what a MAJOR relief (in a self image way) it is to finally learn why I do this and stop beating myself up about internally.

My latest thing that I've had to do is fill out a long document to file a motion for a court case. I've had this document for 3 weeks and I NEED to fill it out pronto. My avoidance is monumental and neurotic in the extreme. I am suppose to go to a legal clinic in 2 hours and have to leave in an hour and I still haven't filled in the document. It fills me with dread. The clinic is only once a week for 2 hours and I've put it off twice already. It doesn't make ANY logical sense why I do this and I'm otherwise a very logical person. This drives people I know well nuts. They see it as laziness and simple procrastination, but it's more complicated. I get horrible anxiety and the inner thought and turmoil is paralyzing.

Your post was helpful to me, so thanks for that.