Question from my mom- opinions anyone?

Post Reply New Topic

My mom is wondering if you have an obsession/interest what should you do? Should you some how tell yourself to stop when you know it's happening. I kinda looked at her like weird. I was like I know I have an interest and then I think about it a lot. But I wouldn't want to stop because than what's that. I am not hurting any one. What do you have for this question and topic?

She doesn't mean it by any harm. I think she kind of thinks it as if someone wants a cigarette and if think think about it obsessively should they tell themselves to stop and do something to distract themselves. But I wanted your opinions. Maybe I could put something reasonable and well understand for her to understand.

Thank you!

-Catherine

Special interests are one of the things about AS that give it a somewhat righteous stigma. Supposing that your interest is not harming yourself or others I would oppose intervention.

If your interest is in favour of you learning about a subject that could prove useful someday, I would bring that to the conversation.

As someone who has smoked, been able to stop, but still sits at the piano playing the same keys successively...Addiction has absolutely nothing to do with our special interests. Most of the time our SI is our way of recuperating energy lost on trying to explain our SI to bonehads anyhow. Try to be mindful of how much time you spend on a specific subject.
(As I sit here well into the wee hours of the morn because of my SI )

I wish you well.

Just enjoy your interest, I see no reason to stop it. In fact, it's one of the best traits of Asperger's. Not allowing yourself to indulge in your interest would be pointless and only serve to make you miserable anyway.

A special interest is fine as long as it's not doing anything bad to a person or yourself (like smoking).
Although I find now that I can stop them and eat and sleep. Before I would skip meals and go to bed really late. So you can still have a special interest but it doesn't interfere with eating habits or sleep. It doesn't have to completely take you away from the world, though some people may prefer it did.
Outsiders might think that we spend so long on an interest that it's all we do. Some can spend hours or days on one but some can realize that spending too long might get in the way of doing other things. Maybe your mother thinks that obsessions can keep you from doing other things (like cleaning, working, socializing).
I dunno, just a guess.

I don't suppress my special interests. I enjoy them, to the fullest. When I'm away from my friends and the clubhouse, for the night and I'm staying home, that night, the music of the 60s is what pulls me through, until bedtime.

Don't stop your special interest. It's good for an Aspie/autisitc to have one. It lets you unwind and relax from anything that's bothering you. If it's not harming you or somebody else, then it's okay.

I'm on the spectrum and so is my little boy. He's obsessed with cars, computers, and sesame street(elmo). We incorporate his interests into activities and no way do I discourage him. I plan on massively encouraging his interest in computers as a career. Indulging a special interest can lead to a good career.

I second that, just dont try to force things on spectrum kids. The parent(s) will get a lot of rejection and likely resentment for force "feeding" stuff like that. My father made that mistake and to this day I have trouble finding a obsession to turn into a "career."

Nope, I think you should pursue it. You learn a ton of interesting things that way.

Smoking is not an evil perversion in spite of the brainwashing you've undergone, it's a personal choice and even as an obsessive interest can be quite enjoyable - there are more blends of pipe tobacco and types of cigars than there are Ice Cream flavors at Baskin-Robbins. I know all non-smokers are going to live forever on a sterile, cancer-free planet with a perfectly balanced climate and an all vegetarian diet, but some of us just don't want to be that perfect.

A special interest, however, is not an addiction - it's an interest (and a routine is a routine, also not to be confused). What in all creation could possibly be wrong with that? Considering most of us have problems concentrating on anything we aren't obsessively interested in, that's pretty much all we have to live for. I made a living (such as it was) for over 30 years because I had an obsessive special interest. Without it, I don't think I could have held a job for two months running. If I'm not obsessively interested in it, I just don't care at all.

Somebody has to know everything there is to know about the private lives of Mediterranean Tree Sloths. How many Non-Autistics do you know who are going to spend their lives cataloging that information?

Mediterranean tree sloths don't seem to exist, at least not under that name. Sloths are South American.

This really is true. In some ways I think it is much easier for someone with AS to love their job, or at least be fascinated by it anyway.

Having gone through periods where pressure from other commitments has caused me to get pulled away from a SI, and I would describe this as sort of empty. I would not say it is healthy for a person with AS to lack one or be prevented from working on it.

As many people have said there is a need for balance, however the balance that you choose may not make sense to a NT person. I find that the more stressed or sleep deprived I am, the more I need to be able to do something like this, even if it means even less sleep.

outwardly this may not make sense, but hey little of what I do does.

Since people on the spectrum are not as likely to have a busy social life, they have time to indulge in a special interest. It isn't as all consuming as it may seem. I agree that a special interest is something to be encouraged if it is harmless ans stimulates the mind, as a lot of ours do. It serves as a therapeutic tool too. It shouldn't be lumped into unhealthy habits (ie smoking) or addictions or obsessive/compulsive habits that are not healthy to the person mentally.

EDIT: I used to smoke. I quit 7 years ago, and I know it would be harder to stop my special interests than to stop smoking. I would be a wreck if someone told me I had to stop working on my dolls, collecting, and stop researching on the Internet.

I think special interests are something most of us need. Any time my parents tried to suppress mine it just made me freak out or get mad and depressed. I think a lot of us would be a lot less functional if we couldn't have a special interest, and just be depressed and frustrated.

I don't know what I would do if I had to stop indulging in my interest! It really helps relax me, as much as rocking back and forth does when I'm out in stores, etc. It's just very calming and I'm spending my time learning about stuff I really love. (FTR, mine's a specific TV show that I'm obsessing about at the moment).

Many special interests can lead to wonderful careers and high paying jobs. My eldest son is obsessed with robots, flight and mechanical things in general as well as electronics. Those are healthy intrests that harm nobody so I've encouraged them and tried to keep him supplied with project materials. My middle son is obsessed with sharks and oceanography. I've kept him supplied with books and try to get him to the beach as often as we can for scientific exploration. My third son has interests in greek mythology, rabbits, and human anatomy and physiology. Perhaps he'll be a doctor someday. In fact he especially likes bones and nerves. One of our local Orthopaedic Surgeons is probably an Aspie (I'm pretty sure he is). Maybe my third son will follow in his footsteps.

I think it's important that you don't allow your interest to prevent you from developing a good foundation of basic skills. You should still try to do your best in all your subjects in school. That way you are keeping your career options open. For instance if you really hate writing, but love oceanography you will probably want good writing skills as you'll need those to study oceanography in school and probably to work in that field.

If you have an interest that is inappropriate or not really going to take you anywhere I think it isn't unreasonable for you to try to develop a different interest, but really it's up to you. If it's an intrest that hurts people, then I think it needs to go.