Help Finding a Support Worker?

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Those of you who have individual support workers who help you with daily living, school/work, etc., what did you do to find and/or pay for them? I'm thinking of looking into such services for myself, as I feel like my ability to be self-sufficent is gradually slipping. Both at work and in my personal life, I feel like I'm starting to sink in over my head, and I'm losing the ability to cope. Although I still live at home, I'm left largely to my own devices because my parents are always working and have their own lives to lead. I have a therapist who I see once a week, and she helps me with my various social/emotional difficulties after they've occurred, but I think I need someone actually present with me to help me deal with the events in the moment they occur. What did you do to find such services (I live in the US), and what sorts of things do they do for you?

I would bet that someone from Starfleet would be ideal for you.

Seriously: Why do you feel that your ability to be self-sufficient is diminishing? I hope you find someone who could help you boost your confidence.

You're a decent person. I feel you will overcome whatever you are going through.

Yes Kraftie, someone from Starfleet would be ideal Perhaps a Betazoid who can read my emotions telepathically, that would be very useful!

As for your question, I don't really know, I just have this feeling like everything is slipping out of my control. The people at work are constantly yelling at me, despite the fact that I'm doing my best, I have to go and talk to police next week about a fender bender in a parking lot for which I didn't leave a note because I was panicked and confused, I'm trying to manage an internship in which once a week I'll have to drive 50 miles down the highway in rush hour traffic when I've never touched a highway on my own before, I'm trying to study for and sign up to take the GRE (standardized test) so I can apply for graduate school, and I'm trying to look for a new job that I don't hate and which isn't minimum wage manual labour. I feel like I'm on a bicycle speeding down a hill, but now I've gained too much speed and the tires are starting to wobble. A serious crash feels imminent, and I need help before my tower-of-cards life collapses.

I really wish I could hold the handlebars for you.

And give you a chaste hug.

I'm sorry about the fender-bender. I might have panicked, too. If you're insured, you should, at least, be able to pay for the damage to the other car. If you're fully insured, you could pay for your own as well.

The GRE, in actuality, is not really a difficult test. Why don't you take some sample ones online. I didn't have any mathematics beyond simple algebra--yet I understood most of the problems. The vocabulary is not that much above SAT vocabulary. You might do well with the logic tests. All in all, see where you stand with a sample test. You just might do well with it. It's great for Aspies who are good at logic.

As far as the highway is concerned, the most difficult part is getting INTO the highway. No matter how much the person behind you honks, just make sure you can safely enter the highway. I wish I could help you there. And, for the first few go-arounds, stay on the right lane so you don't miss your exit. Once you get used to it, you could go into the middle lane (which is the better lane, really). But stay on the right lane until you get used to the highway.

Do you have family who could help you? I hope they are not abusive to you.

Thanks Kraftie *returning your hug*. That's useful advice, and I'll keep it in mind. I suppose a lot of it is the uncertainty; I have no idea what's going to happen, so I can't organise and plan the way I like. It's probably the easy way out, but essentially I'm looking for a support worker to pass the overwhelming responsibility to for a while, someone else who can take control and "steady the handlebars" so to speak. My family are wonderful people, and they try to be as supportive as possible (they've already promised to come to traffic court with me and heckle me if it comes to that ), the only problem is that they have to do their own thing, and they can't always be there to help me with the small things that most 22-year-olds should be able to handle just fine on their own.

Hey StarTrekker,

Sounds like you have a few things going on all at once. That can be overwhelming for anyone - autistic or not. Kraftie is right in that you'll probably do just fine with all of them. Sometimes the anticipation of the situation is way worse than being in the situation.

I actually spent a week in superior court once as an expert witness. I was scared to death to go but found out in the end if you remain calm and explain things honestly and as best you can that the judge is usually pretty decent and fair.

Driving on highways can be a bit unnerving at first but the more you do it the more it becomes just another daily chore.

I have my MBA ('96) and had to the the GMAT test years ago - it wasn't anywhere as bad as I thought it would be. I studied in advance with just the workbooks you can buy and actually did well on the GMAT. Just found the test long.

Take care - sure things will improve for you in the days ahead. Keep us posted how things shake out.

Thanks Egghead, that's reassuring I suppose that one problem with being young is that everything seems new and impossible, and we really only learn to do things by experience, it's just the experience that's unnerving.

You know what, StarTrekker:

I think you have a basically good attitude about things. And I think you will succeed, especially if you have faith in your abilities.

Whenever something is new, people get anxious/scared. It's a people thing, more than an Asperger's thing.

I'm wondering if you should have somebody in the car with you the first time you drive on the highway. The other person could give you tips in "real time."

If, and whenever I become a Transition's Counselor, I would love it if you were my first client. Because I think you would be successful (you would probably be successful even without a "support worker," I believe).

I wish I could answer your question, but I don't know, other than if you are still a student and this comes under the category of struggling with organization, maybe they could streer you toward someone.

I panic easily and would want to try to talk to a lawyer for advice about the fender bender because it's hard to think terrified. They cost a lot of course. You're at a big university, I wonder if there's anything there?

About the driving, if you have a friend who would coach you on the highway or a willing relative that's cheapest. I took a few driving lessons from a company when I was younger for skills I did not have. Pricey and priceless! They really helped me in just maybe 3-4 lessons.

It sounds like too many demands at once and too many changes to adjust to and maybe you don't feel up to all of it at once? Not sure what you could drop, but something might have to go.

The other thing is for work, if there is someone friendly and willing to give advice to help you with the politics? People can take advantage, I've had that happen, but it's overwhelming and exhausting to be surrounded by confusing politics. Even finding a new job, having a person to do that is really helpful.

You know I'll do what I can to help you control that bike. And if I can't, then I can at least put something big and soft at the bottom of that hill so that if you do crash, you won't have to crash quite so hard. Seriously though, don't be afraid to vent to me like you've just done in this thread--nobody can help you quite like the people who are close to you. Although, that's not to say there haven't been some very kind and helpful replies here.

Thanks Waterfalls and Chezcaek, your advice and support are helpful and appreciated. I'm doing a little better than I was. I got a prescription for Zoloft today, so I'm hoping that will start to take the edge off over the next few weeks. I just keep reminding myself that all this is temporary, that in ten years, it will all just be a bad memory.

I'm glad you're feeling better, StarTrekker.

I have a feeling things will go well for you.