Don't you think thats a bit fanciful!

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I returned to Education last September after 20 years. I'm a mature adult aged 37. I was refered recently to the colleges internal assessor for access arrangments, (extra time in exam/small room setting). She glanced accross my original college assessment undertaken by someone else (who has since left the college) and read to me aloud: 'Asperger's', and commented, 'don't you think thats a bit fanciful' I made a complaint, but she now denys making the comment. What are your thoughts?

Last edited by Equilibrium on 03 May 2010, 1:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

It's disgusting is what it is. Did anyone else hear? Could they verify that she did indeed make the comment?

What did she mean by "a bit fanciful'?

Yes, she said it in a room of three other people. I of course challenged her,but she quickly and defensively diverted the conversation insisting she was there to help me. Her comment was very un-heplfull. The welfare Manager spoke to her but she has 'no recollection' of the comment.


Fanciful- Over-imaginative, unrealistic, existing only in fancy!!

Ok that's good you've got witnesses, as it were. Ask the manager to talk to those people and confirm that she really did say that.

This comment is a poorly judged comment and to me sounds like aspiphobia. The denial as most NTs deny things later on may actually be lying to get away with making aspiphobic comments.

I know plenty of NTs who don't deny things they've said. I don't think denying what you've said has anything to do with whether you're NT or not. It's really more a question of ethics and there are many, many NTs with strong ethics. Clearly, this woman is lacking them and has some poorly founded notions.

OP, if the manager doesn't help you, go up to the next level and continue doing so. If no one helps you, contact a local AS/Autism group for help. Even just a certified letter from an organized group will get the college's attention. They likely don't want that kind of attention. Were you able to have someone else help you instead of this woman who clearly does not understand the spectrum?

Yes, I remember speaking to a welfare worker and admitting I had considered suicide rather than the unbelievable grind of trying to get help to live in the world and she said "Awwww, that really too bad, now isn't it! You are smart, you will think of something".

Of course your internal assessor was out of line, and she knew it the moment she said it. She is so threatened by the implications of letting those other three people have that glimpse into her mind that would mock you like that (professional suicide, frankly) that she changed the subject and is now denying, denying, denying.

It is more her problem, than yours at this juncture.

Merle

What the heck was she implying? "Fanciful" sounds like a fairytale. Was she trying to insinuate that Asperger's is not a real condition? I hate it when people choose not to "believe in" an established and researched disease or condition. Who the hell are they to say it doesn't exist? I think she lives in a "fanciful" world where she can pick and choose which conditions are acceptable and which ones are not. How do they get someone like that in a position to assess needs of others?

it is annoying i'm sure but i'd let it go if they are going to help you otherwise. perhaps she was just a bit uneducated?

When I went to my respiratory therapist, I did tell him of my Asperger's Syndrome and he said "that is very rare, you know." I assured him I did know and suggested that just because it is rare doesn't mean it is non-existent. He agreed and we went on to other things.

I think he was just surprised to come across an AS, we tend to forget how rare we are being on WP with others seemingly everywhere.

Merle

The thing is on the complex side, but I cannot help thinking part of it relates to an all too common attitude that has plagued my wife.

Over the years, she has repeatedly [unlikely me, she keeps trying instead of washing the hands and going far away] tried to explain her feelings, stresses, issues, and predicaments to her siblings. Most recently, since we noted our different but about equal involvements in the spectrum, she has tried with a number of them to bring Asperger's into the picture. Not one is interested to hear; most simply let the words flky past them out the window, as they have with every other attempt.

IF you have a certified PHYSICAL condition [vouched for by a physician] you may be able to get these people to hear you. But they can see you totally flattened the day after a do time after time, hear you losing it and shouting through tears at the end of a social evening time after time, and they will still say - at the START of the NEXT event "I'm glad you are better now.".

Without an eyepatch or a doctor's excuse, the assmption is you are just having a hard day and will get over it.

So she she was saying she thinks you don't have Asperger's? That is rude!

I don't even understand what that's supposed to mean. That's terrible!

fanciful?

Sometimes it HAS been used as an excuse but that's pretty judgmental of her

My guess is that she meant that Asperger's is a comparatively rare disorder so the thought that you have it is rather extraordinary.