Enjoying things to the fullest because they are soon over
I would like the perspective of the members of this group regarding enjoying things when they are about to be over.
My example is my dog. She is getting really old now and I am sad because I know her lifespan is limited now I don't mean sad just today, I mean that I always have it in the back of my mind.
I want to be happy that I still have her, and spend lots of time with her before she is gone but I find it really hard to be happy about spending time with her because all I can think about is the fact that she is going to die soon because she is so old.
It's hard to explain......
auntblabby
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Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,785
Location: the island of defective toy santas
your dog is still with you and romping, so don't cross a bridge before you get to it. all things must pass. it is my firm belief that you will be with your beloved pet as you romp together in the bright world above, so be happy now with your dog and entertain no negative thoughts beyond living for today. all one can do is make sure one's companion animal is happy. nothing earthly is permanent besides death and suffering. heaven is the only truly permanent state- i believe this because there wouldn't be much for mere mortals to look forwards to if there were no heaven. so i allow no contrary thoughts in my head, and when one pops-up, i delete it immediately.
i know exactly what you mean. i feel this way about my older pets as well, and always have the same problem if i find someone i like to date. (but in that case, i have an absolute pattern of things ending very quickly, so i know from the beginning it's finite.)
i wonder if the real issue is feeling like the subject at hand is entirely out of my control, which is something i have a lot of trouble with in general.
i guess we should both take a lesson from auntblabby in how to delete these thoughts.
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Now a penguin may look very strange in a living room, but a living room looks very strange to a penguin.
I can relate well to this predicament too. It's very hard to keep away that emotional suffering you know is inescapable. The way I dealt with it with my last dog I had who died of old age was to get a puppy a year or two before it was my beloved Shepherd's time to pass away. My Shepherd has now been gone for a couple of years. I think that the effect of developing a bond with my present dog while the other one was rapidly aging caused me to have an even closer bond with the Chi-Poo I now have.
A dog that loves you deeply suffers less going through old age when s/he can sense you're doing what you can to continue life without her or him. Dogs don't get jealous like people do. When they love, they love unconditionally.
Love means when you're sad, the object of your affection is sad too. Maybe realizing that will help you to know how important it is that you focus onto grabbing what you can that brings you peace and comfort. Because of knowing that having a young dog means many years ahead of wonderful companionship, it helped to counterbalance the grief I had while my older dog was aging.
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"Has not my hand made all these things, and so they came into being?" declares the LORD. "This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word." – Isaiah 66:2
CockneyRebel
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Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 118,338
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love
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