dealing with the cold parent

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ok,my moms not REALLY cold...but shes gone too far this time!! ! everytime she buys me a new hoody i become attatched to it. i dunno why!! ! i just do! she takes them away because i wear them too much(not to where they look horrid, she just gets sick of seeing them)and this time im REALLY pissed!! ! i trusted her, i did her a favor by removing it and she snatched it away and is JOKING about it!! ! help, im close to HURTING her(ok, not really, but i wanna!! !)

Maybe she could get you TWO, and you could wear them lke half the time. You would be less likely to get attached, she would be less likely to change them, and the change would be less severe.

You COULD also try to explain to her just how this hurts you.

Steve

sheeeeeee woooooooooooont liiiiiisteeeeeeeeeen!! ! all i get is blah blah blah, stop being weird, yack yack yack,you look stupid and on and on!! !! !! !!

I'm sorry.




if you try to talk to her and she won't listen...I don't know. I have hoodies I am attached to. I wouldn't be pleased if someone tried to take them from me.

maybe speak to a counselor that can help her to understand?

I hate to say it, but I know where she is coming from. When ADULTS asked me, EVEN when I was a CHILD, to open their child proof containers, etc.... I didn't understand WHY! When they tried to do things they knew NOTHING about, and didn't want to listen to me, I didn't understand it. The IDEA of a semi intelligent person not seeing the meaning of some things DOESN'T MAKE SENSE! I wouldn't believe it myself, but I sadly know it is fact.

BTW disclaimer. We really DO know what they are saying. I guess we just don't bother to look deeper. That is odd because apparantly we do(I KNOW I do) look deeper at OTHER things. BTW many NTs have the problem in REVERSE! They don't delve deeper elsewhere.

Like the cosmetics sales person at the local drugstore here that spoke to me! I KNEW what she said, and answered, and LATER figured ishe was probably trying to flirt with me. I MISSED IT! I guess you can sometimes be smart AND slow! A few seconds, minutes, or even HOURS delay in programming can be meaningless. A 1 second delay in conversation can make ALL the difference.

Maybe you should show her wikipedia. I showed my mother the NT guide to aspie, and she DID see how it fit. EVEN the reference to monitors was there! YOU are probably too young to have had seen the problem, but electronics and monitors used to refresh at 60hz because it was simple and cheap. That meant more flicker, and residual images. It seemed to bug me more than most. Of course, I idn't have much money back then, and things were more expensive, so I suffered.

GRANTED, the hoody thing isn't there, but it DOES show other "wierd" things, and explains why you feel as you do.

So you're "weird". You could be FAR less comfortable, and FAR more trouble. She should be HAPPY. And you will probably get rid of all the speech "weirdness", and may get more use to the noise, and probably even a little less shy(Some of that is probably how you talk). The REST, mostly things you LIKE, will stay! MAYBE you and she can laugh about it later!

Steve

*sigh* my mom has no idea i might have aspergers willow(or hfa even!)i just got on here,slapped down some of my issues, and prayed i wasnt just deranged! i havent had a counseler since i was 8 and that was a punishment...i HATE them now. if i tell her she'll call me a hypocandriac(i thought i had a brain tumer in 4th grade(had a lotta headaches, still do)-always been in the med books, shell never believe im just now finding out about asd's-and shes called me 1 ever since...)thanks again steve. maybe i should just get over it(even though its been an issue since KINDERGARTEN!! !)

no, it isn't something you need to "get over"...it is something she should want to understand. I felt like such an outsider when I was kid...my parent's thought I was "bad" just because I was different....that I was "stubborn" and "refused to learn" because they assumed my IQ meant I knew *everything*.

truthfully, I can't do math that a 10th grader could do.

Ap english, and remedial math.


anyway....I just....I don't know. I want to FIX your mom so she knows.

there are no school counselors? I only mention them, because they seem to be the only thing crazy parents will listen to. your mom seems in denial...and not very nice about it.

and you are not deranged.

My mom is like this, the best thing I tried was going with her wishes. Just wear something different, and then give it time before you wear the one she is sick of.

Willow,Ive never been "bad" until now. i used to do what ever u said no questions asked...they missit i suppose. she left and still didnt give it back... u dont think she would REALLY burn something she bought do u?! hey! i cant do 10th grade math either!! !(10th grader)and she yells but denies me the tuter ive been beggin 4 since 7th... i speak english very well, but i failed it last year(cant diagram a sentence)thank god 4 credits!! ! yes, we have them...ive never seen them up close, but we do. well she better get out of the denile...ppl r tellin her my 2 year old sis probably has autism.(she scares me sometimes...) ud think shed be aware. she was a nurse until i was9. the med books r hers and i found BOTH AS AND autism in the newest 1(03 in case u wanted 2 know. sorry i feel like i need to put down the year 4 that...i usually tell wha t time these r typed-u.s. time-)

Blackcat,

WOW! WE have some more parallels in a way. I ALSO may have looked like a hypochondriac, and I DID do a LOT of research. Ever see "Medical mysteries" , or house? I guess we aren't alone!

Anyway, back to the point. I ALSO had headaches! Heck, one time I took ibuprofen a LOT! ANOTHER symptom I had, I STILL don't know if it was aspergers, is that over the counter pain killers never worked on me, milk kept me awake(though I can digest it fine), etc... One day, a doctor perscribed ibuprofen. When I told him it wouldn't work, he said my problem was I wasn't taking enough(I took the maximum stated on the label, and he gave me twice that!)! My headaches started later than yours, but BOTH possible causes will be harder to match up for most females, and be more likely to occur earlier. BTW I ALSO suspected brain cancer for me!

1. You are OBVIOUSLY under stress. Are you around a lot of cigarette smoke, etc... by chance? If so, GET AWAY from it. ALSO, maybe look to see you are getting enough vitamin B. Many of the B vitamins are used by the brain, and a deficiency can cause a headache. You can overdose on B a LOT! If your urine comes out a lot yellower, it is a sign you are taking too much. B vitamins are water soluable which means less chance for toxicity, and you must take them all the time. I found this one out EARLY! The only symptom I know I had was headaches. BTW it is unlikely for an American to get SEVERE deficiencies, but deficiiencies HAVE been well documented, and it worked for me. If you don't take B, or a multivitamin that has at least 100% of the RDA, think about it. If your mother won't let you do anything about it, think about getting V8 or VFUSION! CHEAP, it can be tasty, and it MIGHT JUST HELP!

2. This second one is less likely in your case, simply because you are SO young. AGAIN, this is more likely to affect female. I'll give you a hint WHY! There is an ABUNDANT source in the BONE! YEP folks, this can cause ALL sorts of problems, but one of the first signs is HEADACHES! Secondary signs are decreased immunity, slower healing, muscle pains, and the list goes on from there! This mineral is VERY important. Without it, many chemical processes are STOPPD! MAGNESIUM! Try to get the RDA of magnesium and calcium. They work together in many cases. BOTH are used to build bone, and calcium has a place even in the brain, and certainly with muscle. If your mother doesn't agree HERE, try drinking more milk if you can. Spinach is ALSO great for magnesium. AGAIN, no real side effects if you take too much. BTW MOST problems from a lack of magnesium appear to be due to the inability to properly digest protien. We probably ALL, especially people still growing, need a LOT of glutamine. It is used EVERYWHERE! It is also the main amino acid in meat. You can't extract it if you don't have magnesium. B plays a part also.

If these are the cause, you COULD see SIGNIFICANT improvement in as little as a few hours, or possibly as much as 3 days. HEY, if it works let us know!

HEY, it beats taking ibuprofen which can cause liver damage! It is cheaper, etc....

BTW disclaimer time (USA legality, you know) I am not a doctor, this is not medical advice. None of this stuff is meant to cure, diagnose, or prevent disease.

YEP, YOU HEARD ME! Vitamin B and mineral deficiencies WERE discovered because they prevented diseases like Beriberi, scurvy, and rickets, but I m required to say that. 8-( Did I mention? I HATE LAWYERS!?!?!?

Steve

I've found it a lot easier at my house if I just buy multiples of whatever clothes work for my tactile sensitive guys. I've also learned that they really, really like their cozy sweatshirts and fleeces and wear them all day until it's so hot they can't stand them.

Multiples work best--that way I can wash them between wearings and they don't look as shabby.

As for getting sick of seeing them, there are two kinds of people in my house: those who think clothes are just for covering up and must feel good above all and those who think clothes are a statement about themselves. I'm of the feel good category along with the two tactile sensitive boys, but my stylish little daughter tells *me* she gets sick of seeing me in the same things all the time!

Could you ask for several identical in various colors for Christmas?

pippen,tactile sensitive? i have asked for mults. and my gramma usually deliver at x-mas and my birthday...the extras just always seem tho dissaper after the holiday...strange.BTW, i JUST got my hoody back. JUST NOW!! ! She hid it UNDER A CHAIR!! ! then left for hours and is JUST NOW GIVING IT BAAAAACK!! ! maybe im overreacting, but the PISSES ME OFF!! ! the hoody NEVER leaves my site again!! ! i no longer trust that woman!! !

My mother once yelled at me for wearing a shirt too often, in spite of the fact they had been washed between each wearing. It didn't make sense to me why someone would track what shirt you wear everyday and actually threatened to take this one shirt away if I wore it too much.

The truth was I didn't have a preference, all I did was look at what was hanging in the closet and pull out something that looked good and wore it. Because of the fact I got chewed out so badly because of this alleged infraction, I took up the habit of what I call "filing" my clothes, i.e. shirts just out of the laundry get put at the end of the closet, so I'll know they were worn recently, and I wouldn't commit this alleged offense again. 25 years later I still have that habit.