10 May 2010, 5:36 pm
10 May 2010, 6:26 pm
Callista wrote:
Social troubles? 
If you're an Aspie and all you've got are social troubles, you're downright lucky. Try having the whole world overload you; every little unexpected thing throwing you completely off track; either unable to deal with your environment, or just ridiculously far behind everyone else learning things that are supposed to be simple.
No, social stuff is the least of it. I've only barely got to making enough of an attempt at socializing to have any social problems in the first place, because I'm too busy surviving. Granted, it causes less subjective distress not to be focusing on said social issues; but if you're dealing with only social problems, it's a sign you're coping a heck of a lot better than quite a few of us out there.
How much you can do hasn't got much relation to stress level. Being different, on the other hand, has a lot to do with it, because the world's not made for us.
If you're an Aspie and all you've got are social troubles, you're downright lucky. Try having the whole world overload you; every little unexpected thing throwing you completely off track; either unable to deal with your environment, or just ridiculously far behind everyone else learning things that are supposed to be simple.No, social stuff is the least of it. I've only barely got to making enough of an attempt at socializing to have any social problems in the first place, because I'm too busy surviving. Granted, it causes less subjective distress not to be focusing on said social issues; but if you're dealing with only social problems, it's a sign you're coping a heck of a lot better than quite a few of us out there.
How much you can do hasn't got much relation to stress level. Being different, on the other hand, has a lot to do with it, because the world's not made for us.
A bit OT here:
Trouble socializing is not just partying or boy/girlfriends. If you can't socialize correctly enough to not come off as a weirdo to landlords, you're going to be homeless. if you can't socialize well enough with co-workers and bosses, you're not going to have money to survive with. If you can't socialize correctly enough to deal with beauracrats to get help because you lost your job and can't secure a place to live, you're survial is at stake.
I've lost jobs due to sensory issues, and due to lack of socializing 'properly.' The end effect in both cases was identical, so neither seems like the lesser problem to me.
I can appreciate that some folks have more more severe sensory and other issues that can threaten survival (i.e. my EF and memory are so crap I've got a "cognitive disorder NOS" dx). But "socializing" problems can also threaten survival.
10 May 2010, 9:03 pm
10 May 2010, 10:30 pm
jc6chan wrote:
IamTheWalrus wrote:
I don't know much about NTs. But I would say aspies have way more stress to cope with. After all its a strange and alien planet to most.
But you've lived that planet for your whole life now.
= an entire lifetime of a. trying to perceive and live by incomprehensible rules, and b. being shunned / wrong (i.e. defective) for failing to adapt (or, alternately: b. adapting or mimicking, suffering loss of authenticity in order to do so).
so i'm going to go with the aspie, who needs to work harder to maintain the same level of competency.
EDIT: and .. and ..
Janissy wrote:
But when you are NT, these and other intense stressors can be helped by connecting with other people. When you have autism, that whole coping mechanism is not only unavailable, it is a source of stress in itself.
Janissy for the win.
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