7 Year old son with Asperger's is haveing school trouble

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The argument in defence of school which my 11 year old AS/PDD son's year teacher used when I said that after just 12 days of college we were thinking of homeschooling again ( he stopped after 14 days ) because he was so deathly bored and had no time anymore to do all the other things which interest him was the "social life" one. She had nothing to say about his excrutiating boredom, but said with some conviction that she thought that the "vie de classe"/"classroom social life" would be good for him.

I said that surely children aren't allowed to talk in class, and the twenty minutes twice a day of recreation, ( my son came home for lunch ), were a lot less fun at college than at primary school because noone played real games anymore, they just hung around nattering and exchanging punches, and giggling, being stupid etc, whereas at primary, just three months ago, the same children were running around playing tag and hide and seek and other group games.

She agreed that children were not allowed to talk in class but that the non-verbal communication of connecting with others, exchanging signals, belonging to teams, etc, was rich and important. Well, Timothy doesn't even see any of that; he sees the teacher, the task, and hears the noise that the incorrigible chatterers/whisperers are making around him ( and the repeated time-wasting lectures they get from the teachers about it too ). And he was dying of the sleep-inducing pointlessness and dullness and outright idiocy of most of the school work.

I am feeling a lot more confident this time about home-un-schooling ( "freestyle"; little or no regular "school work/exercises, he does whatever he's interested in, whether that is reading, writing stories, creating complex games, playing on the computer, constructing lego technic stuff, etc ), because he did so phenomenally well during the five months last year that he attended a tiny local private catholic primary school ( nominal fees ), despite having only ever been to school for three weeks aged five.

He started at the little local primary school in February 2010, and although he had done virtually no school work for a year and a half before and only about an hour a day in the previous three years when we followed a correspondence course, he shot to top of the class in maths, and was among the top of the class in history and geo, science, and french, ( and obviously top in english, he was bilingual in a french school ), etc. ... And was getting massively bored by mid-May/early June, because they took so long, spent so many lessons, on the smallest of tasks, the simplest new things.

And "college" was worse, instantly. No longer had Wednesdays off, and lunchhours half an hour shorter, and an earlier start; he had almost no time left to do the things he loves. A class of 26, ( compared to 19 of mixed ages at the little school ), and even more painfully slow presentation and repetition of lesson materials. He said that the most awful thing ( apart from having almost no time left for the things which interest him that is ), was being put to sleep by the lack of stimulation/interest but having to make himself stay awake.

I saw his work books. I could totally see the problem.

My son learned to read and to write and to do basic maths with no lessons at all. He learned to read aged 7, which had me anxious for at least a year before, but I waited, put almost no pressure on him, and lo and behold, almost overnight he started reading, and has already read some Kipling, some Dickens, Tolkien's "Lord of the Ring", Wodehouse, Conan Doyle, ancient myths and legends, Agatha Christie, Philip K Dick, John Wyndham, Mary Stewart"s arthurian trilogy, and Harry Potter, of course, aswell as C S Lewis, and many other classics.

He learned basic maths, ( adding, subtracting, multiplication and percentages ), from playing games on the internet, and to write at speed on in-game chat windows, or on forums, skills he has used increasingly to write stories, and to plan intricate games, etc. He loves calculating percentages and complex interest sort of sums, and fractions, etc ... online, and also on paper in order to construct well-balanced games, etc.

When I look at what he was doing at college, and even at the primary school ( but he had some fun there, in breaktime, and art lessons ), all I see is make-work, an extraordinarily complex collection of tasks designed not to educate, not to teach a love of learning, nor even "how to learn", but to fulfil school's real purpose, which is to sort and classify children for the gigantic pecking-order machine which is the "work place", and to turn children into compulsive consumers and obedient members of the pecking-order, convinced of its justice/rightness/authority.

And, free of the fear which used to weigh on me before, ( and the Academic Inspection does behave menacingly ), I am assailed by a feeling of disorientation, of unreality ... because if school, which is such a central part of our society, is not about teaching children how to learn, if it is almost totally useless at that, if as is the case children do most of their learning at home, if school sends a great many children to sleep, if so many children leave school illiterate, loathing and hating books and all learning, if what school teaches a great many children is how to "pass the time", without moving, without talking, because there is nothing better to do, if all that school teaches children to do is succeed at school, ( and to feel proud and pleased at succeeding in this selection process ), if this is true, as it does appear to be ... it's like the emperor's new clothes; there is nothing there ( except a cheap babysitting service with brainwashing thrown in for free ).

PS. The two friends, both younger than him, that he made at the little school, he has kept in touch with over the hols and will see at weekends.

My 7 year old 2nd grader is has gone from bad to worse. We live in Oklahoma so the schools are not that great anyway when it comes to things like this. I feel like in some areas he has come so far since he was diagnosed but in other areas, i.e. school, he has went even more down hill. At times he will do 3-5 questions on the paper(& get them right) but not do the rest of it, other times he will just not do any of it. Even now that the teacher modifies his work it does not help. When he is at home he does the work(slow but he does it) and gets very good grades. Now he came home from school with holes in his shirt from cutting it, a note today that says he was tearing up paper & erasers and when he was asked to pic the mess up off the floor he just looks confused. I am not sure what to do. This is very new to us as he was just diagnosed this summer & while alot of things we have been told to do to help him we were already doing because for years we have found what works & what doesn't but this is new and getting worse. it started half way through first grade & is what prompted us to get the eval for diagnosis & it only seems to be getting worse. Any thoughts? Suggestions? Thanks so much!!

It is a good idea. It may be that he is not comfortable at school. Myself, I always dreaded the morning walk to school and sometimes found public school anxiety provoking.We tend to prefer quiet, safe environments with few distractions. Such was the reason I spent so much time alone in the library. Home schooling comes with a caveat, however. Do you really believe you possess the resources for instruction that a public or private school does? Worth a thought.

I disagree with the homeschooling idea because it can really hinder social development. With Asperger's especially, it's not so much the academic skills but the social skills that we often need the most practice in to grasp. I'd suggest speaking with the teacher first to see what can be done. Otherwise, you may need to request a review of your son's IEP to see if any adjustments need to be made. Some struggles in school are par for the course though unfortunately.

My 7 year old 2nd grader is has gone from bad to worse.

Social skills aren't learned through school. At most, imitation is learned and if it is impeding academic development it doesn't seem like something that one would want to advocate. Some aspies don't even pick up on these things in that kind of environment. I was too out of it at school to realize people communicate on another level. Public schooling was a really awful experience for a lot of people here.

Every child is different, I guess is the moral of this post. But by the OP's post the child isn't thriving in his current environment.

My 7 year old 2nd grader is has gone from bad to worse. We live in Oklahoma so the schools are not that great anyway when it comes to things like this. I feel like in some areas he has come so far since he was diagnosed but in other areas, i.e. school, he has went even more down hill. At times he will do 3-5 questions on the paper(& get them right) but not do the rest of it, other times he will just not do any of it. Even now that the teacher modifies his work it does not help. When he is at home he does the work(slow but he does it) and gets very good grades. Now he came home from school with holes in his shirt from cutting it, a note today that says he was tearing up paper & erasers and when he was asked to pic the mess up off the floor he just looks confused. I am not sure what to do. This is very new to us as he was just diagnosed this summer & while alot of things we have been told to do to help him we were already doing because for years we have found what works & what doesn't but this is new and getting worse. it started half way through first grade & is what prompted us to get the eval for diagnosis & it only seems to be getting worse. Any thoughts? Suggestions? Thanks so much!!

You left out key information here... does he have an IEP?