I've been feeling really depressed recently.

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I'm not sure why, because I have so many things that are going well for me. I wonder how much it could be caused by having Autism; I think it could be because it seems like I can't interact well with anyone right now, and that's what's upsetting me, but I don't want to look for a single cause to blame everything on. Even when I tried to think of good personal things to share with someone today, I kept thinking of negative things. I've been thinking a lot about the time when I was raped by my friend when I was 15, and I keep thinking that it was the result of the actions of my Russian grandfather, even though my friends tell me I'm crazy. I keep wondering if it would have happened if I wern't Autistic, and whether or not I would have seen warning signs. I know I can't blame myself for it. Maybe someone has some advice for what to do.

I think you need to see a counselor about this, pronto.

Being raped is a very traumatic experience for anyone, NT, autistic, whatever--it doesn't matter.

It sounds to me like you ARE partially blaming yourself for what happened--glad you're acknowledging that you should not be doing this to yourself. Self-blame is very common among those who have been raped. You need to get some help for this.

Hope that helps, and I am really sorry that this happened to you. Let us know how things are going.

Take care.

Yeah, that's a pretty nasty thing to happen to anyone.

If you'd been targeted because of your race or your age or some other factor, would that make it any less wrong? Nope. Nor would it be any less wrong if you had been targeted because you are autistic.

Rape isn't your fault. Seriously. NT girls are raped by their friends or their boyfriends all the time; that's not something that's unique to being autistic.

Yes, being autistic makes us easier targets. But being an easier target doesn't make things any less wrong. You couldn't blame yourself if you were smaller and less able to fight back; so why blame yourself for being autistic? It's very similar; autistic people are less able to "fight back" (socially) than NTs, and that makes us easier targets. But that doesn't mean we're to blame, any more than a small girl is to blame for being small and not being able to throw her attacker across the room.

That's why I'm always on my alert for predators, and I dress modestly.

I've been doing that for years, even before I was raped, because I'm Autistic, and because of my severely Autistic brother and the problems he has caused for the family. The big problem is that my dad refuses to believe what happened because "I would have said something right away" and he claims that I'm making it up to exaggerate how bad Summit Camp, where it happened, is.



I make a distiction between blaming myself outright and feeling like it was a sort of karma. My Russian grandfather was worse than the Nazis, and I'm sure that I was punished for it because the victims are constantly denied. I'm also sure my mom feels the same way because she is Russian and cried when I finally told her what happened. Unfortunately, no one ever helps because they just tell me the "don't blame yourself" routine.



The rape isn't the only thing, though it seems to be focused on in this discussion. I feel that the biggest problems are happening now, and they involve how I interact with my boyfriend and my friends, as well as my overall outlook on everything. I just feel stuck and unmotivated; I wonder if anyone else here has had this feeling or this phase, and if it has any connection to Autism, or if everyone feels it. I feel so different.

Your dad could be in denial about things OP & you may never be able to get him to believe that it happened. I've been feeling stuck & unmotivated most all my life & I've had issues with depression myself. I've kind of accepted things in my life as they are & I realized I cant be like most people. I wish I had some advice here but I find talking about things helps me out quite a lot thou others tend to dislike my negativity

I know that most people can't spot any warning signs, but I wonder if there were any in my situation that people of average social skills would have been able to see. I've been living a mostly average existance, as far as the things I do socially go, but I feel it isn't right and can even be dangrous for me, such as at parties, since I talk too much and don't always sense bad situations.



I don't blame myself for being Autistic, sometime I wonder if it prevented me from seeing any warning signs. Otherwise, I agree with what you are saying.