question about a symptom

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We are in the process of having my 5-year-old tested for aspergers. I was curious--he often tells lies (not like no I didn't eat an extra cookie, but if someone yells at him, will start saying things like they punched him in the face and kicked him, etc.) and doesn't seem to realize that this really didn't happen. It happens constantly. I thought aspergers were very into telling only the truth? Is this something anyone has encountered at all? I'm so confused. Any guidance would be appreciated! Thank you so much!

Welcome to WrongPlanet, and welcome to my time warp.

That is not a sign that he does not have Asprerger's; we are all capable of lying. When I was five, I lied a LOT. Autistics have a brain full of information to draw on for good stories. In Kindergarten I would make up fake siblings and fake illnesses I had. I used to claim to have been places that I hadn't and so on. These were just ways to make use of my imagination (which many sources also say we lack. Go figure, and I'm a writer). In your son's case, it sounds like a different motivation under different circumstances, but either way, we still can make things up.

It's true that the average Aspie will not lie, but we are all different individuals with unique personalities, just like NTs are all different; so, some of us will lie. I have a big problem with unethical deception, though. I won't lie ever to cover for a mistake. I always own up to it. I hate being lie to also. Being lied to by someone I trust will cause major meltdown.

So, yes, he can lie and still have Asperger's. It's not part of the criteria; the unwillingness to lie is very common for us, but it's always a possibility.

Last edited by dyingofpoetry on 20 May 2010, 2:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Aspies can lie; I think the whole "aspies never lie" is a myth. I know I sure lied a lot to my mom as a kid, and my boyfriend is a great liar if he needs to be.
His father also has Asperger's, and he's been a notoriously skilled liar his whole life.

Thank you so much. That is so helpful! He has a lot of asperger's symptoms, but I couldn't seem to fit that one into the diagnosis. He seems to live in a reality world where everyone is always out to get him. He doesn't take responsibility for anything (like if he hits someone, the dog did it). But as I mentioned, that was one of the only things that didn't fit. We've had him tested for various things before but now they are saying asperger's again. the test is in the next month... waiting to hear back when the school system will schedule it. we've been to a ton of doctors and therapists who don't know what to do with him or how to diagnose him (including a renownded developmental pediatrician) and now we were pointed towards the school system. (he's not in school yet though--would be in kindergarten in the fall).

Again, thank you for helping me figure out this journey!

I think the others answered well. Whilst true that Aspies are honest (to a fault) this is a generality. Since your son is 5 years old, he may "lie" like any other (NT) 5 year old. But, to add: I've learned that lots of Aspies, including yours truly (and I'm painfully honest) have imaginary friends, so I'm told.

Actually, another WP member asked this question a while back, posed to adult Aspies. I answered with a genuine "No." Then I read others posts. I have a robot named V8 (V8 is well known on the Wrong Planet, or so he likes to think) and to me V8 IS REAL. By this I mean, V8 is NOT imaginary. Imaginery means 'that which does not exist' and V8 is certainly tangible. Indeed, I made V8.

Not too long ago, one I know at University (NT) just casually mentioned in passing whilst in the hallway, "That plant isn't real." No. That plant IS REAL in that it's NOT imaginary. I can touch the plant and she and I both SEE that plant. I think what she meant is that plant is plastic, not alive. That was tricky for me to understand. Similarly, my teddy bear, Gottfried, is not my imaginary friend. Gottfried is definitely my friend and he is real (i.e., not imaginary). Gottfried has a distinct personality unlike my own and Gottfried is Neurotypical.

Does that help? Albeit, your son is 5 years old and likely doesn't mean to lie with ill intent. But, no worries. When he's more mature he'll be just as painfully honest as most any Aspie

The notorious but all too true story: NT mother to her adult Aspie son "Does this dress make me look fat?" Her loving adult Aspie son, upon deep contemplation, "Yes." If you want an honest answer ask an Aspie. But maybe not when they're 5 years old!

Welcome to the Wrong Planet, writer9. And to your son - WP has a Kids Crater Forum he may like.

V8, my robot



V8 confesses....he stole that cookie! But cookies do not go with milk since that's not palatable with V8 juice


[Wholly separate, and on a serious note here: Once as a moderator (and friend to another member with 'classic autism') I suggested it may be helpful to her to pretend her stuffed animal be a 'guard' between her and the computer screen. What had transpired was that she was being bullied (on another site, not WP!) - this trick helped her so she could separate the cyber-bully from 'real life.']

maybe it might fall under the category of-
Confabulation

I agree (and had occured to me as well), especially since he's 5.

Honesty is a trait of AS....but a child is a child. Thanks for the link.


<Note: Not sure "proclivity to wikipedia" is a symptom in the DSM V, but it should be! >

out of curiosity, what does "V-8" do for a living?

It is also possible that he's having sensory issues, and can only explain them in terms of physically obvious events. For example, when I'm in a bad way with stress or whatever, someone shouting at me does feel like a physical blow to the head... not being punched in the face, but as though someone's got my head in a clamp and is squeezing it hard.

It could be that your son starts crying, and saying he has been punched, because to him the sensory overload of being shouted at is on a par with being punched in the face.

My son has irritable bowel syndrome, among other issues, and when he's in a bad way with stress he tells me he "feels like he's been kicked in the gut." So, it's worth bearing in mind that, while your son is not telling the objective truth, he's expressing as best he can, with his experience so far, what being shouted at feels like to him.

..Conflabulation sounds like a good explanation...
Some of my lies were rooted in truth and filled in gaps for things I am still not clear on. Some of my lies were explanations for things I would get teased about....like my glasses or my toe walking. Some were just based on stories that would pop into my head, and I did not know what to do with them but process them by telling them out loud..My young cousin who I suspect might have been an aspie had the same trait. He told us that this dragon-shaped pillow that we gave him would come alive in the attic, and other stuff like that...I would make up stuff "I'd heard on the news" about outlandish fake inventions and such...

Last edited by poopylungstuffing on 20 May 2010, 5:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

No one actually knows. V8 is just the robot that hangs out at the lab and walks about with his rhinestone leash. Rumored that perhaps V8 ought to be the Wrong Planet mascot But the green martian is cool too.

mgran: That's a good point - if one's senses hurt then all else is very hard. And no way to express to another senses hurt. I have this conundrum at times too.

We have been to so many doctors, and I have to tell you that you have given me more information than any of them! THANK YOU!! I read that link and that sounds so accurate. Also, he does have a lot of sensory issues... has been diagnosed with sensory integration disorder and anxiety disorder, with a possibility of asperger's (we are waiting to have the test in a few weeks.) It is so interesting that you said that regarding that's how it might FEEL to him... since that is what most of his lies center on (people hurting him). That's such an interesting viewpoint.