Stability in relationships

Post Reply New Topic

About a month ago I was told by a friend of mine that she loved me. 2 days later she recanted this declaration by saying that she was not the right person for me as she has her own issues to sort out. This caused me to relapse and I had to be admited at a psych ward. You see, I have schizophrenia and stress causes my symptoms to return. My psych told me afterwards that I needed stability in a romantic relationship. I can't be with someone who has her own issues to sort out. My psych also said that I seem to miss social cues which prevents me from engaging in relationships. Missing cues and my lack of proper eye contact makes me feel like one of you guys (aspies). Are you in a relationship and if so is you significant other a 'normal' person? How did you meet considering that you miss subtle cues?

Hi, don't take this the wrong way, but if you can't cope with something like that, then I think relationships are always going to be a minefield for you.

Everyone has issues. Issues can be major or minor, but I don't believe there's any such thing as a fully sorted person. If it's possible, then they must be rare. Some can be more stable than others.

Stability is desirable but not always possible. Part of being in a relationship is enjoying/enduring the ups and downs.

I think the main thing for you to do is to bring stability to yourself, as much as you can, and then the next time someone does something like that, it won't cause you to have a relapse. I have no experience with Schizophrenia, so I don't know if that's possible, or how to do it.

I'm in a sort of relationship. We met on the internets, through a site devoted to a field of mutual interest to us. Perhaps you could do that, or try internet dating. OKcupid is free and pretty good.

May you find happiness.

That was a rotten trick - building you up and then smashing you back down like that.

I cant really advise on stability in relationships, as I've probably destabilised my relationships as much as the women have. All I know is that these days if a woman told me she loved me, I wouldn't swallow the idea just like that, though it's very tempting to believe it 100% because it's like the answer to a cherished dream. Instead, I'd watch her behaviour towards me over time and judge for myself whether she really did love me. Meanwhile I wouldn't raise my hopes very much, though my gut reaction would always be to do just that. Any fool can say those three little words, but there are so many liars around that it's best to decide for yourself.

Also, I wouldn't see a relationship as stable unless I'd been through at least one serious conflict with the other person and resolved it so well that the relationship became stronger, with no residual resentment. Because sooner or later most couples do get into conflict, and it's best to know sooner rather than later whether it can be fixed - the stakes get higher and higher as they invest more of themselves in each other.

I met my love on the interwebz. We chatted intensively for more than a year and then we dated and then we clicked etc..

I noticed during our chatsessions that she was as different as I was. Otherwise I would not have dated.

Yes I'm in a relationship and yes, my boyfriend is "normal," though I can't really give advice on a stable relationship. We met thanks to a mutual friend; she was in the same english class as me, and her boyfriend is my guy's best friend.

We're alike enough to understand each other but different enough that we bring different points of view to the table, so I think that is part of how we stay together.