Have you ever been accused of "stepping on toes"?

Page 1 of 1 [ 6 posts ] 

passionatebach
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 8 Nov 2009
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 447
Location: Cedar Rapids, Iowa

03 Jul 2010, 11:13 pm

Has anyone ever been accused of stepping on the toes of another person? What I mean by this is that in trying to offer advice or assistance to someone, the person accuses you of getting in the way or finding your help or ideas unnecessary. I was thnking back on instances in my life where I have upset people and this is one of the common themes. I often also wonder how AS fits into this?



hutchscott
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 31 May 2010
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 268
Location: Washington State, USA

03 Jul 2010, 11:41 pm

This happens to me often. I suppose it is all about picking up on social cues.



League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,302
Location: Pacific Northwest

03 Jul 2010, 11:54 pm

I have never been told this phrase. People have gotten mad at me for being sensitive and trying to be nice. Plus a few people have gotten mad at me when I try to help them.

My mom used to say how she wishes she can be thin like me so I tried to help her lose weight so when she start to eat, I point it out to her and tell her how much calories she is giving herself and tell her she had breakfast so why is she eating so soon already. She get mad at me for it. Then she explained to me how you can wish for something but it doesn't mean you want it to happen nor does it mean it can happen or will. She told me for her to be thin as me, she has to work out and she doesn't have the time or she is too tired to do it because she works all day. It's more work to lose weight when you are older than when you are young. Then she used other examples like she wish she had two million dollars but that won't happen, she sometimes wishes I didn't have Asperger's but that isn't possible either. And my mom lost eight pounds in Europe because of all that walking we did everyday in the first two weeks. So I learned when people wish for something, it doesn't mean they want it to happen nor are they asking for help.



Prksrbrt
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jun 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 108

04 Jul 2010, 12:34 am

I do this alot actually and it's usually when some NT says something that isn't factual. Then they yell at me and say I'm being very rude and I just don't know what to do... If someone says something untrue am I just suppose to nod and agree completely without thinking?



Todesking
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Apr 2010
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,088
Location: Depew NY

04 Jul 2010, 1:44 am

I had a bad habit on stopping my job to offer help to new people learn their job. My fellow employees would come over when I was showing a new guy how to do something then wisk me away back to my job saying no one taught you your job do not teach them how to do theirs. They would also tell me not to show people how to do my job so the bosses would depend on me and not the lower paid new guy. They explained that the new guy only makes 8.50 and hour and I made 10.00 an hour so it would be cheaper to have the new guy do my job. :wink:



ColdBlooded
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jun 2009
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,136
Location: New Bern, North Carolina

04 Jul 2010, 3:04 am

Yep. When you're quiet, you're told to "just be yourself" and "speak up".... And then when you actually do that, you're told you're being "rude," "argumentative," or "butting in." It's very confusing. They can't even explain what it is they want, but we're supposed to read their minds or something. :?

Funny side note... When my mom, my sister, and i were filling out some questionnaires before i got diagnosed(i think this particular one was for ADHD, and they wanted me to fill one out, along with two members of my family, about me.. but i was mainly being assessed for AS), the question was if i "step on peoples' toes" often. We were talking about the questions afterward, and i said "well, sometimes when i'm walking too close behind someone i step on the back of their shoes accidentally, but never their toes." :lol: They explained it, and i get it now, but yeah... all the AS questions about "taking things literally" were pretty obvious.