Question: Is my friend a real friend?

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I've been thinking about this for a while, and I would like to have people's input.

I grew up in a small town and since I went to the catholic school, we only had about 12 people in my class in primary school,
and my graduation year in secondary school held only 14. ( VWO secondary school, society profiles, dutch school system,please don't question it, I know it's weird) During primary school I aquired 2 friends; one was a son of my mums friend, and the other was the only person as tall as I was. Outside of school I had another friend who was the daughter of another friend of my mums. In secondary school I lost track of both the friends I knew through my mother and got a new friend.

I now am in university, and back home I have 2 friends, the one I knew from primary school and the one from secondary. I am just not sure if the one from primary school is really a friend. I know it sounds weird since I've known her for a long time, but i'll try to describe her.

This friend is really outgoing, does anything to be in the picture and acts before she thinks. She conciders me her best friend, at least thats what she says to me. We often did presentations together (since I'd rather break my leg than stand in front of the class that helps me) where she did the most of the talking and I just showed things. When I need a buddy for some event she's always there. We've been part of the scouts together and since we both arn't really atlethic (ahum ) we just stuck together. When we're together, we have loads of fun.

On the other hand, she always gets the credit for my ideas and funny comments. I almost never speak up in class and when I had an idea or comment I would tell her, and she would shout it ou loud. She doesn't really listen to me if she doesn't like the topic, and continuately speaks about herself. When in the scouts I did not like the food and tried to discretly remove it from my plate to the bin, she would point it out and join the mocking crowd, leaving me at the centre of attention. (A thing I absolutely HATE). She somethimes stands up for me however, a thing I am profoundly grateful for. I like being with her, but only for shorts amout of time, since she can be rather overwhelming.

Thanks for reading this, although it turned out to be a rather long post.
Opinions are apreciated!

I think her personality is just unattractive. Hope that doesn't offend you.

she is clearly not perfect but who is?

someone who sticks up for you in one situation and betrays you in another is a bit confusing though..

would talking about what bothers you help? you do have fun together

I had a friend like that, once.

I don't feel really prone to talking to her, these kind of subjects she usually rejects. In general she doesn't really understand why people don't like her. Plus I don't want to risk losing her as a friend.

Friendships grow and change constantly. She sounds like a friend with some serious faults. I think you are close enough to her that you can tell her how those actions make you feel. I wouldn't tackle it all at once, but bring one thing up at a time and help her work on it. I'd probably start with the pointing out what you're doing so others will make fun of you. She may be self conscious about having a friend who is percieved as different and is doing that stupid stuff to make sure everybody knows that she knows better. This is very immature behavior. The good news about that is she is still young so these faults probably things she can overcome. She might even have some ADHD and be dealing with some compusivity of her own, and feel really bad for these episodes. That would explain the talking too much and failure to listen to you as well.

As an Aspie you may have a tendancy to talk too much about your interests as well. It's something that can be difficult for others to deal with, even if you are interesting and knowledgeable. I try to give my children feedback about that when they do it. I make an effort to listen even if I'm not interested in their topic, because I'm interested in them. There comes a point that I need a break and I tell them and explain how that feels to me. I try to change and they try to change so we can have better relationships and respect each other. It's fair.

Your friend might respond best if you bring up both things, your tendancy to talk to much about topics of interest, and her rude behavior. That way she doesn't feel it's an attack. Explain that you care about her and your relationship and want to improve things before you start, so she knows this is coming out of love more than anger.

This is just my motherly advice. I hope it helps.
Good Luck!

Wow,
thanks a lot. I think this really helps.
thanks!

Go with Kiley. To me it kinda sounds like she wants to be your best friend but also wants to fit in with the NTs and thats why she leaves you at the centre of attention. Or maybe she was pointing you out trying to get other people to talk to you. just my toughts.

She sounds more like a casual friend to me than a TRUE friend. But what do I know? A real friend will be there for you when bad stuff happens to you. I learned this the hard way.