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zeldapsychology
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03 Dec 2009, 7:41 pm

I think this is one of my faults not sure if it's AS based. For example at College I'd question the teacher daily on Psychology (sure special interest of Psychology etc.) but also she was nice to me. For comparison I had met a past bully/friend and told the teacher she said that's good. I told my mom she went BALLISTIC OMG you shouldn't talk to him he bullyed you etc.! !! ! My mom suggested I talk to my Psychology teacher SHE'D AGREE WITH HER (AKA my mom) The teacher's reply was "You already know what to do" I said I do? She said "yes" (BEST advice I EVER GOTTEN!) Later on at my 1st job I guess I also have a "thing" for tall girls! LOL! I'd "jump" on a coworker's back (not sure why LOL!) and when she had to leave to take care of her grandmother I was upset because looking back perhaps it's THESE PEOPLE are the reason I liked the job/College (besides the special interest of Psychology that is) Looking on it I think it's due to the parents issues I have and these 2 people (coworker/teacher) were nice to me. So I ask WP have you ever been obsessed over a person and why and is this AS based?

Thanks WP!



Last edited by zeldapsychology on 03 Dec 2009, 7:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

03 Dec 2009, 7:43 pm

Yes I do and I hate that so I try and ignore that person or limit myself.


But there have been people off the spectrum who have also gotten obsessed about someone they end up stalking.



poopylungstuffing
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03 Dec 2009, 7:46 pm

I have, but I don't know if it was AS-based. I was villified and made out to be crazy because of it..but that did not help me have closeure, and did not help me understand why the obession was so unshakable and intense...so I guess it would be nice if I could simply say that it was AS-based....



Tim_Tex
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03 Dec 2009, 7:55 pm

I do, all the time.


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superboyian
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03 Dec 2009, 8:05 pm

Like many people here.... Yes I do obsessively think about a person who I get on with....
Weirdly enough, this year, I've met someone who went through the same problems as me but the only difference is that he was in a normal school and I was in a special needs.

However I can't seem to get the person outbid my head? :lol: he's juse awesome, I even wondered if we could be related :lol: it just kills me... Lol.

And this girl I've met for ages, I have been obsessed about her for years since primary school and couldn't get her out of my head... I'm even so excited to see her and obsessively counting the days to see her... But then I would be upset whenever something is happening on that day I wanted to see her.

I think I put the end of my speech right there :) I kinda feel abit embarrassed by it :oops: lol.


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JSchoolboy
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03 Dec 2009, 8:18 pm

Spokane_Girl wrote:
Yes I do and I hate that so I try and ignore that person or limit myself.


But there have been people off the spectrum who have also gotten obsessed about someone they end up stalking.


I've been thinking about this, too - looking back and wondering if these kind of "crush" feelings are just normal affection or a kind of perseveration. I don't know. But in any case, yeah - I have this, too. Usually it's a woman, but occasionally, in a non-romantic way, a man. Ok, now I'm getting embarrassed, too.

When this happens, I try not to let anything show because it has sometimes caused problems for me. Also, I know it is temporary. I may continue to like the person, but the intensity will fade.


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Spiritualwoman
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03 Dec 2009, 8:18 pm

I think it would be ideal high level love if too people were that way very very interested in each others...anyway I never faced such... :roll:



veiledexpressions
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03 Dec 2009, 8:30 pm

I do, and most of it happened when I was young. It was obsession with counselors at girl scout camp, or my favorite teachers.



MathGirl
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03 Dec 2009, 10:52 pm

Yeah, and I always end up pursuing the person. Because I have no shyness/social anxiety whatsoever, it is really easy for me to begin approaching that person and then eventually getting myself into very embarassing situations.


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RampionRampage
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03 Dec 2009, 11:20 pm

I usually only do this if something has gone horribly wrong in my relationship with them (be it family. coworker, friend, etc).

When I'm hurt and tremendously confused by the behavior of someone I'd previously trusted, I think it completely shakes my foundation. I can't stop analyzing and re-analyzing what went wrong, how I could have prevented it, etc.

And there is the scripting. And rescripting. And rescripting. Post analysis of the actual performance. I make mental corrections that I cannot actually deliver - the moment's gone.

The worst is when I have to end the relationship, and I know the other person (often a formerly close friend) is going to go on about their life thinking I'm a terrible person. I have a hard time reconciling that.

The only other time I may obsess is if I know someone is going through a rough time. Often they do not live nearby - I moved away from where I grew up, I have family all over the east coast. There seems to be an endless parade of illnesses, accidents, and emotional disasters going on and I worry intensely about the person(s) experiencing them.


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gramirez
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03 Dec 2009, 11:41 pm

Actually, I have. But not for quite a while.


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chasingthesun
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03 Dec 2009, 11:49 pm

Yes, but it's usually pretty innocent. I have noticed that as I've gotten older and gotten involved in new situations that it leads to not very good things...I've attempted to force myself on people, however I usually notice myself doing this and can restrain myself. I am quite paranoid to a point where I hold back more than I maybe should. I refuse to "like" things on Facebook that my crush posts, etc. for fear of further forcing myself upon him. I used to spend too much time around him and now I know to give him space (someone also lectured me on this). I generally have decent restraint when in the person's presence, a lot of times because I'm too scared about the person disliking me to do anything I think could seriously jeopardize our relationship.



awwthecar
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04 Dec 2009, 12:22 am

Yes, and I have been miserable because of it.

There's a girl right now who I have not been able to stop desiring intimacy with for about 3 years or so. She is so beautiful, but she does not like me at all. I can tell she despises me. I haven't seen her for over two years, but I still want badly to have physical and emotional intimacy with her.

This thing of having obsessions really is unfair. No matter how ashamed or stupid I feel about it, I can't stop it. I had to admit to myself today, out loud, that I want to "make out" with this girl. I decided that trying to get rid of these feelings, or deny them, only makes them worse.

I'm having, right now, to be completely honest with myself. I want to make out with her. I want to marry her. If I saw her being intimate with someone else, I would feel tortured.



zeldapsychology
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04 Dec 2009, 10:13 am

RampionRampage wrote:
I usually only do this if something has gone horribly wrong in my relationship with them (be it family. coworker, friend, etc).

When I'm hurt and tremendously confused by the behavior of someone I'd previously trusted, I think it completely shakes my foundation. I can't stop analyzing and re-analyzing what went wrong, how I could have prevented it, etc.

And there is the scripting. And rescripting. And rescripting. Post analysis of the actual performance. I make mental corrections that I cannot actually deliver - the moment's gone.

The worst is when I have to end the relationship, and I know the other person (often a formerly close friend) is going to go on about their life thinking I'm a terrible person. I have a hard time reconciling that.

The only other time I may obsess is if I know someone is going through a rough time. Often they do not live nearby - I moved away from where I grew up, I have family all over the east coast. There seems to be an endless parade of illnesses, accidents, and emotional disasters going on and I worry intensely about the person(s) experiencing them.



I do this!! ! Reanalyze the situation that is!! ! I do this over my College suspension and the fact I upset my Psychology teacher. Glad to know I'm not the only one!! ! The teacher relationship was cut off aburptly and I also hate she probably sees me in a negative light now. :-( I tried to facebook her to no success!! ! :-(



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04 Dec 2009, 11:49 am

Yes. Sometimes it's positive a person will become a role-model.

In the past it was mainly teachers lately it's been a pseudo co-worker. She's someone in the same circumference, we are more competition than anything and definitely not friendly, but she very much represents an ideal of sorts. She understands the social order exceptionally and is by far the most knowledgeable person around directly in our field. At the same time she manages not to get involved with any of the chit-chat or gossip and sticks to business. As competition I have to pay attention to her and I try to learn from her actions. Our only interaction is fleeting though she has tested me on a few occasions which tells me she regards myself as competition also.

Sometimes it doesn't go so well. If for any reason I become attracted to them as people my oddness level increases exponentially and it all comes down to keeping them out of my circumference and limiting contact with them.

The same goes for role-models. In the past I had a tendency to raise people to sainthood or demi-gods. People are people. This is important to remember.


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Ambivalence
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04 Dec 2009, 12:19 pm

Quote:
Have/do you obsess over a person?


Not really now, not any more. :wink: I did obsess over people sometimes when I was younger (not very much younger, even) both in pointless-crush and bitter-hatred modes, but I think I'm over doing that now. It's probably because I recognise the signs and the accumulated experience is enough by now to break me out of the pointlessness.


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