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DMark
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15 May 2010, 12:26 am

Tell me what you think... new additions highly encouraged.


Absolute Disclosure: In an interpersonal relationship, the ability for the people involved to completely and unconditionally reveal everything about themselves— their feelings, traits, and intentions— without any fear of being judged by the other. A relationship of Absolute Disclosure is supposedly the supremely ideal one, but in practice almost never happens among Neurotypicals.

American Dream: Fulfilling the American Dream means becoming a part of “the system” and living the rest of your life in a state of indentured servitude. Don’t do it!

Asperger’s Syndrome: See Autism, High-Functioning.

Aspergian: A term first used by John Elder Robison to describe a person with Asperger’s. Not created by the inventor of the glossary. See “Aspie.”

Aspie: A person with Asperger’s Syndrome/High-Functioning Autism. In other words, a person who tells it like it is, doesn’t bullshit his or her way through the world, and doesn’t ever abandon people he or she considers a friend. Aspie is a widely-used phrase, not created by the inventor of the glossary.

Autism, High-Functioning: The state of being above average in intelligence, 100% honest and loyal, and incapable of deception. People with High-Functioning Autism are very passionate and take everything they say or do very seriously.

Disappearing Act: When a Neurotypical you’ve known for a very long time, often a matter of years, and have supposedly grown close to, “drifts away” with no explanation: they stop returning phone calls and emails and you eventually feel too awkward to keep at it, so you let it go. If you do run into them again, you may very well spend hours catching up, but even if they then say “We have to get together again and keep in touch!” they almost never do. There are various excuses given for the Disappearing Act if the Neurotypical is confronted: They’re busy, their life is too complicated, they’ve moved away and made new friends, etc. etc. About 90-95% of Neurotypical people you befriend will eventually pull the Disappearing Act, which
is why it is recommended to never take relationships with Neurotypicals too seriously.

Neurotypical: The state of being of mere average intelligence, disingenuous, judgmental, and incapable of enjoying one’s own company, requiring the presence of others to feel secure.

Yellow Flag: When someone you know, or are getting to know, displays behavior that you may find troubling and disturbing, but is not necessarily reason to abandon the relationship or attempt at the relationship. A variation of the commonly used term “red flag.” A good example would be calling out of work and lying about being sick. This may not mean the person will lie to a friend, but they obviously aren’t 100% ethical, so the dishonestly calling out of work can be considered the Yellow Flag. Some people would be advised to consider all Yellow Flags to be red ones as well, especially if they are looking at taking the relationship seriously.



Amajanshi
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15 May 2010, 12:29 am

DMark wrote:
Tell me what you think... new additions highly encouraged.


Absolute Disclosure: In an interpersonal relationship, the ability for the people involved to completely and unconditionally reveal everything about themselves— their feelings, traits, and intentions— without any fear of being judged by the other. A relationship of Absolute Disclosure is supposedly the supremely ideal one, but in practice almost never happens among Neurotypicals.

American Dream: Fulfilling the American Dream means becoming a part of “the system” and living the rest of your life in a state of indentured servitude. Don’t do it!

Asperger’s Syndrome: See Autism, High-Functioning.

Aspergian: A term first used by John Elder Robison to describe a person with Asperger’s. Not created by the inventor of the glossary. See “Aspie.”

Aspie: A person with Asperger’s Syndrome/High-Functioning Autism. In other words, a person who tells it like it is, doesn’t bullshit his or her way through the world, and doesn’t ever abandon people he or she considers a friend. Aspie is a widely-used phrase, not created by the inventor of the glossary.

Autism, High-Functioning: The state of being above average in intelligence, 100% honest and loyal, and incapable of deception. People with High-Functioning Autism are very passionate and take everything they say or do very seriously.

Disappearing Act: When a Neurotypical you’ve known for a very long time, often a matter of years, and have supposedly grown close to, “drifts away” with no explanation: they stop returning phone calls and emails and you eventually feel too awkward to keep at it, so you let it go. If you do run into them again, you may very well spend hours catching up, but even if they then say “We have to get together again and keep in touch!” they almost never do. There are various excuses given for the Disappearing Act if the Neurotypical is confronted: They’re busy, their life is too complicated, they’ve moved away and made new friends, etc. etc. About 90-95% of Neurotypical people you befriend will eventually pull the Disappearing Act, which
is why it is recommended to never take relationships with Neurotypicals too seriously.

Neurotypical: The state of being of mere average intelligence, disingenuous, judgmental, and incapable of enjoying one’s own company, requiring the presence of others to feel secure.

Yellow Flag: When someone you know, or are getting to know, displays behavior that you may find troubling and disturbing, but is not necessarily reason to abandon the relationship or attempt at the relationship. A variation of the commonly used term “red flag.” A good example would be calling out of work and lying about being sick. This may not mean the person will lie to a friend, but they obviously aren’t 100% ethical, so the dishonestly calling out of work can be considered the Yellow Flag. Some people would be advised to consider all Yellow Flags to be red ones as well, especially if they are looking at taking the relationship seriously.


I love it, so true! Especially about the Disappearing Act...



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15 May 2010, 1:45 am

Honesty - The art of forgetting that others don't really want "too much information" about us.


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Lene
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15 May 2010, 9:44 am

Seems more than a little biased to me...

Quote:
Aspie: A person with Asperger’s Syndrome/High-Functioning Autism. In other words, a person who tells it like it is, doesn’t bullshit his or her way through the world, and doesn’t ever abandon people he or she considers a friend.


Maybe some of us are like that, but it's certainly not universal.
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Neurotypical: The state of being of mere average intelligence, disingenuous, judgmental, and incapable of enjoying one’s own company, requiring the presence of others to feel secure.


Seriously :roll: . This whole 'glossary' is as daft as those Nazi explanations of the difference between Jews and Arryians.. (yes, I know about Godwin's law).

If you are sharing biased opinions or intending this to be tongue in cheek, then make that clear at the start.



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15 May 2010, 10:27 am

I think....that I hope this was intended to be humorous, because it would be extremely offensive and inaccurate if taken seriously.

I'm all for looking on the bright side of being an Aspie, but there's no reason to bash NT's along the way.
So yeah, I hope this was intended to be some sort of joke.



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15 May 2010, 10:50 am

Dmark,

We can understand the above two comments. You know we have trouble recognizing jokes. I thought the glossary was pretty cool!

Oh, and...

Stimming: A repetitive action such as hand-flapping and rocking that only autistic children should probably be performing, but is just too relaxing for autistic adults to resist.


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Last edited by dyingofpoetry on 15 May 2010, 12:38 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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15 May 2010, 11:47 am

I'm getting the "Disappearing Act" from my friend right now... :(


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15 May 2010, 12:17 pm

I like it :D
But I have a little problem with Yellow Flag... can anybody explain it more?


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15 May 2010, 1:30 pm

The Disappearing Act happens to me a lot.


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DMark
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16 May 2010, 8:53 pm

The glossary was not at all intended to be a joke, but a cynical and tongue-in-cheek representation of fact, and I'm quite surprised anyone on this forum would find it remotely offensive, but I make no apologies for it.

All of my terms on there are based on my life's experiences. If you haven't had the vast majority of NTs treat you like crap, then maybe you haven't noticed.

I'm not saying that all NTs suck, just almost all of them. And I've really not known a lot of Aspies in real life, but from my interactions with them online, having this "condition" is the reason for why I am the way I am-- my social awkwardness isn't because there's something wrong with me, it's because other people are so judgmental. "Painful honesty" is a core trait of high-functioning autism, with which I've been diagnosed, so I find in fellow Aspies an absence of a trait I deeply despise which seems universal in almost everyone else who ISN'T an Aspie-- insincerity.

Though I have my flaws and I'm readily willing to admit them, I do think I'm better, to be honest, but while that's open for discussion, that *most* NTs are not nice deep down, maddeningly avoidant, unwilling to listen to anything they don't want to hear, insincere, and shallow, is not really debatable in my book. Because I've been lied to, hurt, disappointed, and ditched by pretty much every single one I've known in my entire life, which is now going on thirty years. I've observed a systematic behavior pattern in the general population which is clearly reflected in the glossary. And I've never lied to anyone, turned my back on anyone, or ditched them, even when they've probably deserved it. And I have ESPECIALLY never turned away anyone for being honest with me, even if it didn't come out right. And I observe the world at large systematically manipulating, lying to, and deliberately hurting each other, while I never have. So I think that does make me better.

If this sounds arrogant, well, maybe it is. But it's the truth. And I am little bitter about it, I guess, but I have a right to feel the way I do.

My viewpoint is, why do I want to learn how to "make friends" when most people suck? I believe the Aspie should just learn to be content with his or her own company. Since I've decided to let no new people into my life I've been WAY happier. My parents say this is extreme... but since I've adopted it, I've done well for myself. And every time I've let my guard down-- every single time-- I've been hurt.

I'm very interested in continuing this discussion, but for those who disagree with my opinions, please respect my right to voice them.



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17 May 2010, 2:56 am

You're okay, DMark, and I think you're cool.


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17 May 2010, 8:14 am

Dots wrote:
The Disappearing Act happens to me a lot.


same here, fortunately there is no one left to disappear

unless my partner decides to perform her own kind of magic



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17 May 2010, 10:19 pm

DMark wrote:
Disappearing Act: When a Neurotypical you’ve known for a very long time, often a matter of years, and have supposedly grown close to, “drifts away” with no explanation: they stop returning phone calls and emails and you eventually feel too awkward to keep at it, so you let it go. If you do run into them again, you may very well spend hours catching up, but even if they then say “We have to get together again and keep in touch!” they almost never do. There are various excuses given for the Disappearing Act if the Neurotypical is confronted: They’re busy, their life is too complicated, they’ve moved away and made new friends, etc. etc. About 90-95% of Neurotypical people you befriend will eventually pull the Disappearing Act, which
is why it is recommended to never take relationships with Neurotypicals too seriously.
People with Asperger's do it, too. I had a girl with Asperger's as a friend on Facebook, met her once, and she was very nice to me in general. I wanted to continue our friendship. But yesterday, she suddenly blocked me on Facebook. No explanation, no warning, nothing. Just before that, she posted on my wall, responded to my statuses, and I responded back, and everything was fine. I have no idea what has happened. I'm obsessing over it, and it pisses me off as I can't concentrate on my work once again. And I have LOADS of work to do. I've missed a class I was supposed to attend today, because no one reminded me about it. I'm so angry at people sometimes. I don't know what people are thinking, I don't know how they're going to behave, I don't know whom I can trust. Yet I can't stop myself from being social. I get extremely depressed when I spend too much time alone. Being an extrovert and hating people is overkill. I do hate having Asperger's sometimes. Most girls with Asperger's I meet are much more high functioning, too, which makes it difficult.


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31 May 2010, 5:43 am

DMark wrote:
Aspergian: A term first used by John Elder Robison to describe a person with Asperger’s. Not created by the inventor of the glossary. See “Aspie.”


Robison did not invent this term. The first place I ever saw it was about six years ago (maybe more) on a web forum that was putting forth a "mythology" about an island named Aspergia where all the Aspergians were from. Posting on the forum was meant to be the equivalent of returning to Aspergia. I don't know what happened to the forum . . . it eventually vanished into the aether.

Quote:
Aspie: A person with Asperger’s Syndrome/High-Functioning Autism. In other words, a person who tells it like it is, doesn’t bullshit his or her way through the world, and doesn’t ever abandon people he or she considers a friend. Aspie is a widely-used phrase, not created by the inventor of the glossary.


This one is generally recognized as coming from Liane Holliday-Wiley, author of "Pretending to be Normal".

Quote:
Autism, High-Functioning: The state of being above average in intelligence,
[snip]
Neurotypical: The state of being of mere average intelligence,


I realize you were being intentionally tongue-in-cheek about it all, but the idea that Asperger's=genius and Neurotypical=troglodyte is so tired.


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DMark
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31 May 2010, 6:09 am

I stand corrected on the origination of Aspie. Not really a big fan of Robison, I don't recall if he claimed to have invented the term or not but it wouldn't surprise me if he did, or at least thought he did.

And regarding your statement "Asperger's=genius and Neurotypical=troglodyte is so tired"... well maybe so... but here's another way I look at it: We invent stuff that the rest of the world uses to blow each other up. Judging by that observation, which is entirely accurate, we are geniuses, and they are troglodytes. But not all Aspies are geniuses and not all NTs are troglodytes.

And for the record... I'm certainly not implying that all NTs pull the Disappearing Act and that all Aspies don't.... just that if you meet an NT always be prepared for it even if they seem like they're your best friend for the day.

Sparrowrose wrote:
DMark wrote:
Aspergian: A term first used by John Elder Robison to describe a person with Asperger’s. Not created by the inventor of the glossary. See “Aspie.”


Robison did not invent this term. The first place I ever saw it was about six years ago (maybe more) on a web forum that was putting forth a "mythology" about an island named Aspergia where all the Aspergians were from. Posting on the forum was meant to be the equivalent of returning to Aspergia. I don't know what happened to the forum . . . it eventually vanished into the aether.

Quote:
Aspie: A person with Asperger’s Syndrome/High-Functioning Autism. In other words, a person who tells it like it is, doesn’t bullshit his or her way through the world, and doesn’t ever abandon people he or she considers a friend. Aspie is a widely-used phrase, not created by the inventor of the glossary.


This one is generally recognized as coming from Liane Holliday-Wiley, author of "Pretending to be Normal".

Quote:
Autism, High-Functioning: The state of being above average in intelligence,
[snip]
Neurotypical: The state of being of mere average intelligence,


I realize you were being intentionally tongue-in-cheek about it all, but the idea that Asperger's=genius and Neurotypical=troglodyte is so tired.