Do you constantly think the worse?

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Not sure what the term could be but wondered if others did this. My friend put to her sister on FB Wish I could be there you're in my prayers. I automatically took that as OMG what if my friends sister is hurt (We've known her family forever and I'd say her sister is my friend too) so I sent a message to that 2nd friend a text and a text to my other friend. The one I thought was hurt was blow drying her hair. My friend (when I asked is your sister doing ok etc.) she said ya she's doing fine. I said oh I'm stupid she said no you're not. (so she was nice.) I interpret "in my prayers and wish I was there" as OMG you could be hurt or something serious is going on!! ! I assume if mom and the girls (my sisters) aren't home at X time OMG what if they got in a wreck etc. Does your mind do that? Perhaps an anxiety thing? Is it normal? Thanks.

Hmm.... No. Never.



Why would you say that? Did I say something wrong? Is it me? Are you okay? Are you sure?



Normal? Is what normal? Did I say something wrong? Did I offend you? Did I hurt your feelings? Are you okay? Do you hate me? Can I fix this? What do I need to say to fix this? Tell me and I'll say it! I just want you to like me! WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY???! !! !! !!


Seriously? If it happens only now and again, it's normal. If it happens frequently, but you're able to figure it out, and smooth it over, it's an annoyance you might want to try working on, because if it happens all the time, then yeah, I would say it's anxiety, and that can be paralyzing. I don't know much about how to deal with it other than simply trying to catch yourself every time you assume you're thinking something negative. Ask yourself before you send that note, "is there really any reason to think [fill in the blank]?" Or better yet, "Could this be a positive thing?" and then imagine something positive that would fit the bill.

If you think for at least fifteen minutes and can't come up with something positive, then by all means:



PANIC!

(BTW: I've been through some periods of anxiety and panic. Temporarily paralyzing, but never for more than a couple of weeks. I know a couple of people who suffer from it often and for a long time. It's not really funny if the attacks are severe.)

It's called "catastrophizing". It's something you have in common with lots of moms, myself included. When the phone rings and caller ID shows it's the school, I assume something dreadful has happened to my daughter. It's what leads to the intense maternal urge to be overprotective and it's something I really struggle against.

It didn't hit me until I had a baby. And you already have it and don't even have kids yet. Oh my. If you ever have kids, your urge to overprotect will probably be so intensely strong you will need the help of family to keep it in check.

Thanks Janissy! I'm going on 25 and I have it not all the time but I saw her comment on FB and thought OMG what if that 2nd friend got hurt. It's how I saw it. It's good I have that maternal instinct but it's hard! I googled it and as an Aspie (I tend to analyze everything) and the school issue is a "castastrophizing" since oh the going back to school situation could go this way/that way if I talk to that teacher could go that way/this way. I'm ALWAYS doing that!! !! !

yesterday i called my sister 5 times and when she never picked up i start panicking and thinking somebody must of shoot in kill her and then kill her room mates and then kidnaps all there kids then burn there bodies i was super worry she's fine,

I like to think the best of things.

My mother does the exact same thing. If I don't pick up (I can't hear my cell phone or it's dead), it suddenly becomes an emergency situation. She's called the police several times.

I always think the worst, so upcoming events stress me out even more than they would ''normally'' do. It's also insulting to people. ''Why the hell do you think I can be THAT evil?"

I do this a lot. The worst was the night we were leaving for Vancouver and my mom was late coming home. I thought she was working at one person's house but then that person called and asked for my mom, so she obviously wasn't at their house and she had left an hour ago. I started freaking out trying to call her, thinking she was in a car accident or something when she didn't answer her phone. I was pacing around the house wondering what I should do, and eventually my mom came in the door and I started crying just out of relief that she was alive. I told her what happened and she told me I was being ridiculous for being upset. And it turns out she was working at someone else's house, not the person who had called.

I think I had good reason in that case to be worried, but I do this all the time anyway. Like whenever my mom is out later than usual I start thinking that maybe she's been in an accident. I've gotten better now because I'm used to her being out late, but if she's really late then I start panicking. And she never answers her phone!

Also, with the thing you said about facebook, "you're in my prayers", I would definitely think something bad had happened. I don't understand why they said that just because she was drying her hair? That makes no sense.

She posted the following : Hey sis, wish I could of been there but I love you, always, and your in my prays! I need some txts soon haha dad hates that we txt and don't call.

IMO "wish I could of been there" and "in my prayers"=OMG something bad happen to the sister AKA a friend so I was uspet OMG what happen. If it was a dead dog surely my friend would of said sorry for your loss of insert dog name,If it was life issues job/boyfriend (then that's none of my business and is between sisters and I get that) but my thought was OMG what if that friend had an accident or something seriously bad happened to her!! !!

...rather yes - " Hope for the best , expect the worst " , I think Mel Brooks said that .

I think this is also part of general anxiety....kind of "finding" things to worry about. Not that we do it on purpose but it just happens. Actually if anything, it annoys me. Like I would send my husband out to the park with my kids so I could relax but then the entire time I would be making myself crazy with all the things that could possibly happen to them. There are very few times that I am relaxed and calm....maybe when Im asleep?

Last edited by liloleme on 18 Jun 2010, 1:07 am, edited 1 time in total.

lol it sounds just like me lucky she called me just in time i was about to put out a missing person report.

Constantly. Could be. No idea. I do the same thing that you do, if my fiancee doesn't call at the time when I know she is going to get out of work like she usually does I start to get worried and think she might've gotten into a car accident etc. But I try to calm myself down and think that she probably just had paper work she had to finish up or is chatting with one of her friends at work before she leaves. Then eventually she'll call and one of my less worried assumptions will be correct.