Which of the following assumptions annoys you more?

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Which of the following assumptions annoys you more:

1. That because you have Aspergers, you can't possibly do X, Y and Z.

2. That because you can do X, Y and Z, you can't possibly have Aspergers.

X, Y and Z can be various stereotyped things that Aspies can't do (things like empathy, friendships, success at certain kinds of jobs, etc).

I come across both attitudes and they both annoy me, but I think the first annoys me more, because that potentially limits my opportunities and access to employment.

1. 2 is just stupid for someone to assume and means nothing, but having your own ability doubted because of a label is irritating. The prospect of both is the same: ignorance, and subjecting your opinion even though you know very little.

Probably 1st. I in general do not like to be told what I can and can't do.

number 2,
becoz my parents do that to me everyday....
you don't have AS becoz blah blah blah... blah blah blah...

even if Dr. Tony Attwood diagnose me himself, my parents wouldn't accept that I have AS and several psychological complications....

I thought once they accepted it...but no...now they're back into the deniel phase again

Sigh. I'm sorry, Melbi.

the first one.

1. That because you have Aspergers, you can't possibly do X, Y and Z.

This one. I often hear people telling me that I cannot do this or that because of autism. I can overcome much more than they think, and the worst part may even be that they aren't supportive when I want to do something because I'm supposedly unable to achieve it. It's a motivation killer for me.

Well, exchange "Asperger's" for "Autism", and I'll answer:

1.

I supposedly shouldn't be able to talk, even though most with Autism gain adequate speech (a lack of social speech ain't a lack of speech)

I shouldn't look like a normal person; uh, what am I supposed to look like?

I shouldn't be able to feel love for others if I have autism, as after all, it doesn't look like I do in person, what, with always being by myself. People don't see me hug my mother, lean my forehead on my sister's shoulder, or care for my niece and nephew; I can't tell you in person that I do this, but I still do it

Sure, I have a long list of "can't do", but I also have an equally long list of "can do". People like looking at the former, rather than the latter.

my son has Autism and I have AS and I tell him everyday he can do whatever he wants to. I think limitations should only be set by what a person sets for themselves. If he wants to try I can dang well be supportive and when I try I generally succeed b/c haha I fixate and keep at it until I succeed.

The Bottom line is that you shouldn't broadcast the fact that you are an aspie and then you wont have to worry about those assumptions. Never put it on a job application. You know your own limitations and strengths.

But sorry for being an annoying aspie, but I'm guilty of both 1 and 2.

Ah, sounds like my dad. Well, he's finally sort of accepting I have Aspergers, but he doesn't like it as a label, and keeps saying that back in his day I'd just be called eccentric, and that there is no need for a label of Aspergers.

#1 Annoys me, the most. I don't like being told what I can and can not do. That happened to me in high school, and college and now I'm in a dead end job, because I believed all that. I love my job, but I hope that my Nazi father is happy that I'm in a dead end job, instead of the head of a major corporation, because he told me, at the age of 15, that I can't do this, this and this, because I'm an aspie.

Be careful what you tell your aspie about their capabilities, if they're the type of teen, who takes things to heart. You teen could grow up to be like me, as part of a litter crew, cleaning parking lots.

The difficulty comes when you need support for something specific, and you can only get it by disclosing your diagnosis. Then comes the contradictory barrage of 'There's nothing wrong with you - if you're doing this course you can't have Aspergers and don't need support' and 'Well, if you need support, you're incapable of doing this course and should quit.'

They are both annoying. People seem to think "autism" = "mental retardation".

The second one annoys me more, as it implies they know more about my own condition than me.

The first one? Why, that's simply setting a challenge