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Sparrowrose
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25 Jun 2010, 7:51 pm

thechadmaster wrote:
i dont usually patronize FF restaurants anymore simply because i dont want to add to their burden.


I don't patronize fast food restaurants because I'm not interested in committing suicide-by-foodlike-substances.

Quote:
im so glad i work in a convenience store now, still plenty of challenges, but i work alone 90 percent of the time and im next in line for assistant manager.


I got fired from my convenience store job because I got rheumatic fever. I got strep throat and couldn't come in to work and it turned"to rheumatic fever so I was out for a couple of weeks. When I came back, the manager said, "where's your doctor's notice?" and I said, "I don't have one" (because I hadn't realized I was supposed to get one and when I called in sick multiple times over the course of my illness, no one said, "be sure to have the doctor write a note." I offered to show the manager my hospital bracelet and he said that wasn't good enough, it had to be a note written on doctor's letterhead. My hospital bills, admission bracelet, prescriptions with my name and date on them -- none of that was considered acceptable proof that I had really been sick so I got fired.


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Danielismyname
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25 Jun 2010, 8:31 pm

This is why they don't let me work with others.

As an adult, I just go "Hulk Smash" if I'm verbally bullied or things similar; I don't put up with it, but it lands me in trouble, hence, why they don't let me work with others.



Todesking
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25 Jun 2010, 9:33 pm

At my machine shop job I could take a song add some bullies name to it then twist the words to make it raunchy, funny, or twisted. Everytime I did this the other employees could not wait for me hand out the lyric sheets to keep in their tool boxes or to sing at break to piss off the bully. 8)

At the resteraunt job I use to spit in the bullies' drinks and food when no one was around. I learned this behavior on my first day of the job when one of the bullies waited for some other co-worker walked away from the break table and he spit in his food and drink. He then looked at me and said if you cross me you'll get this too. I tried to warn the guy but he laughed at me and ate away happy as a clam. I did a lot of grosser stuff I would write about but I think the mods would ban me or something. 8O



astaut
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25 Jun 2010, 9:58 pm

Some of this kind of stuff (bullying) can sometimes be prevented by where you work and who you work with. The passive-aggressiveness and talking about you behind your back happens much, much more with women. If you're working somewhere like fast food, retail, etc (a job where you don't have to have a degree and stuff) there can be all sorts of people there...I think as you get into better and better jobs your situation will improve. There will always be stupid people who entertain themselves by picking at you, but not as much in jobs where you have more power...and if you become their boss you don't have to stand for it :wink:

All I can really suggest is if you know of some way to practice social skills. It would be great if there was a psychologist around that offered some sort of group therapy where you could talk about social skills...even better, one where you could role play. I'm sorry I don't have more advice...the adult bullying thing has not been a major problem for me, it happens but it seems to work itself out somehow.


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katzefrau
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25 Jun 2010, 10:16 pm

to anyone who's replied:

when people with AS say they can't work, is this one of the reasons?

and if you get a formal diagnosis, does that qualify you for disability benefits?


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Sparrowrose
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25 Jun 2010, 10:22 pm

katzefrau wrote:
to anyone who's replied:

when people with AS say they can't work, is this one of the reasons?


In my case, it was a long series of multiple, repeated firings after short periods of time (approximately 2 weeks)

Quote:
and if you get a formal diagnosis, does that qualify you for disability benefits?


In the U.S., the diagnosis is considered but the disability benefits are based on functioning level, not strictly on diagnosis.
I had a hefty grab bag of various diagnoses to choose from when I got disability. None of them were AS because I was wasn't diagnosed until afterwards (seven years later) so my caseworker looked through them all and chose "depression" as my official diagnosis to put on the disability forms, even though it was obvious that it wasn't depression that was keeping me from being able to hold a job. The case workers don't care if the diagnosis matches the symptoms -- they just need a diagnosis of some sort to put in that space on the forms. They decide whether a person is disabled or not based on the symptoms, not the label.

Hope I answered your question. If not, feel free to ask again in different words to try to trigger me to answer more appropriately.


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League_Girl
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25 Jun 2010, 10:42 pm

I knew an aspie who worked at McDonalds and then she quit because of too much gossip she said.



bee33
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25 Jun 2010, 11:16 pm

I don't have a job but I've dealt with adult bullying at a place where I volunteered and with a circle of women friends I knew mostly just online. (I knew one of them in person, and she was the only one who was willing to stick by me, but only if I said that the bully and I were just "too different from each other," with no acknowledgment that she had bullied me. I couldn't deal with that in a friend, so I lost her friendship too).

I usually get along reasonably well, for several years even, but then I will suddenly make some unforgivable mistake without realizing it, and everything around me crashes and burns, and I am tossed out of whatever I was in like I'm some kind of despicable pariah. That's what gets me, is not knowing how to see that some subtle thing will get me into trouble.

I don't have any advice, because when I was bullied by the circle of women, I was actually trying really hard not to step on anyone's toes, but I failed so miserably. Even when I said I had tried to be careful not to offend, that was used against me. i was told: "Well, I'm sorry it's such a burden for you to have to put with me."

(And to answer yuor question, the reason I don't work is chronic fatigue, not AS.)



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26 Jun 2010, 5:46 am

thechadmaster wrote:
thats why i just roll with the punches, if someone wants to have fun at my expense, thats their privilege as an NT. people want to pull a "disappearing act" (see the thread), thats fine, ill be here when you get back. people want to steal my property, ok, it wasnt mine to begin with, i had it on loan from God.

life is just temporary in my book, another 80 orso years i can go meet my maker in heaven and He will restore me to what i should be. i let others take and take and take but i never expect anything back, this NT world has trained me to beileve that if society wants me to have something, i will have it, but i am not allowed to expect anything in return, reparations are God's department.


8O Are you serious?



opal
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26 Jun 2010, 5:54 am

tomboy4good wrote:
<~~~~48 years old & still bullied. I don't always get the social dynamics of my office either. It's frustrating that I can't do my job without someone else causing me grief. There are times when there's so much noise I can't hear the voice on the other end of the telephone. I have my hands over my ears to try to filter out all the background sounds, but it doesn't help. I don't have enough status to tell others to stop being so loud. And if I did, that would just lead to more bullying. I've been bullied so long that it's just a normal part of every day life. In fact, I am surprised when it doesn't happen. I have just learned to do my best. People often make fun of me or get angry at me because they don't like my personality, the way I look or dress, etc. I HATE every minute of it. I've also been told I have NO sense of humor. I think I do, but other people don't get it...tired of trying to explain what makes me tick. So now I just mostly stay quiet. My bullies have ranged from the boss, supervisors, to people under me in seniority to customers & total strangers. I have noticed that no one else in my current job gets bullied as much as I do. I am the one that gets picked on or blamed if there's a problem. Being thrown under the proverbial bus has become such a norm that I know all the undercarriage parts, not just the wheels personally.


People have also called me names like lesbian in the past too. Of course, I am married now, & they've all met my hubby, so they know I'm straight. So they don't use that word any more, but there are plenty of others that are used, & used on a regular basis. I wish I had a good answer to how to stop it & get respect, but unfortunately, I am still as much in the dark now as I've always been.


That really sucks. I've had my share of bullying and I'm sorry for you.