FAIR WARNING- Potential Gross-out "Am I the only one w

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am i the only one who finds it embarrassing to use the bathroom with certain family members in the house? i am really self concious to the point where if my visit will potentially be noisy, i will leave and use a public restroom at the store. i have no problem letting loose around complete strangers, but if my mother is within earshot and i am noisily "depositing funds into the porcelain bank account" i just cant do it.

im just afraid that if i am having a rare bout with diarrhea, my mother will hear it and start asking me "if im ok". to me "D" is no big deal considering my diet and vigorous excercise habits ( KFC rampage followed by 4 hour bicycle ride on a 90 degree day)

i even lay down a few layers of TP to soften the landing so to speak.

am i being paranoid?

my apologies if this is too much information, but the title gave you fair warning

it sounds like your mom makes you uncomfortable to a degree. is she a perfectionist?
my mom is and that's why i'm afraid to do anything around her that she might find unusual or unpleasant.

no , she isnt a perfectionist, but in her eyes i will always be her "little boy"

my grandmother is the same way. thankfully there is a grocery store near both my house and hers, and i can explain being gone for a while as "long checkout lines"

Until a couple years ago, i was essentially in the same boat as you (and i was 10 years older then, than you are now)

It wasn't an issue with the bathroom, no... but there is no way in hell i'd ever let her know i wasn't feeling 100% unless i was nearly dying. There was no way i'd swear, or have a smoke around her. I was just "uncomfortable" about acting "as I am" as opposed to "as i was supposed to act, based on my upbringing"

I didn't change by choice, but wish that I did so ... and a lot earlier.
I hit the lowest I'd ever hit, and just didn't give a crap anymore. I stopped pretending because i didn't care... but it may well have been what saved me... at least a significant part of it... Because the stopping pretending lifted tons of weight off my shoulders.. and I learned then that I could stop pretending about a lot of other things too. and that lifted more weight from me. I didn't even know I had AS at the time... A counselor suggested I look into.. but what I read overplayed the stimming, and ... to be honest at that point I wasn't convinced of my social issues.... I had lost the ability to determine what I really was, and what I'd pretended myself into being.

Since accepting AS it's like a light has gone on in my mind, and I see things clearer, because I can now accept who I am myself, and it makes it soooo much easier to let go of the things I used to pretend to be that made me so miserable.

I honestly think if you let go of that issue, if you're able, that you might see that other issues you have can be overcome. You can be who you are, and proud of it. Maybe within a few years you and your mom laugh with each other about how "that one was a real rip-roarer, wasn't it!?!"

Coworkers, yes: strangers, usually; friends, sometimes.

Family never. They watched me growing up and during that time, they often heard me poop. I'm not going to start getting embarassed about now.

The way I look at it - the washroom is THE PLACE for making obnoxious noises.

I would be a little perturbed if someone was passing wind merrily in my living room (a few toots that escape is one thing - a full onslaught fart is quite another).

I simply don't pay any attention to any "noise" that might be coming out of the washroom in my house (well, unless it is someone saying "OMG, where's the plunger!!"

If one continues to be embarrassed, make a habit of whistling or humming whilst conducting said business. Also, some people like to use a "courtesy flush." This is a flush during mid-business to help distract from sound. It is also helpful in helping to literally "flushing away" odours.

In my washroom, I also have an operational fan and some lemon/juniper/geranium essential oil spray which is great at reducing odours and providing a nice smell post movement, so guests should feel comfortable using my washroom for their elimination needs.

Haha!

"Thank you for choosing my washroom for your elimination needs."


I don't like people hearing me doing business, but it happens, and I don't freak out about it.

In a word, no. I will use public facilities in cases of desperate dire need, but if possible will wait tillI get home. I will use the bathroom furthest from even the closest family member; the other day I went to the other building because she was too close to the other two chambers. And if there is a visitor, only if about to burst will I act until they leave.

My mom's office is right beside the upstairs bathroom and the bathroom door is not a normal door, it's kind of more like a room partition. The bathroom is also tiny like a closet, so I hate when someone's in the office, or even walks by the door, not only because of sound but because it feels like they're in the same room. It's unnerving. Although I don't know why I should be bothered by them hearing me using the toilet because my bedroom is in such a position that I can hear anyone in either the upstairs or downstairs bathroom. Luckily I'm only in there at night, so the only thing I ever hear is the mid-sleep wee.

The worst is when people talk to me when I'm in the washroom, that annoys me so much. Seriously, unless you're dying, just wait until I'm out. And definitely do NOT hover outside the door, because you'll be waiting for a very long time because I'm waiting until you leave before I do my business.

I won't go out of my way to leave the house or anything. For the first time I have my own bathroom which is very nice. This fall I'll live in a dorm with a communal bathroom, which I'm not looking forward to

Sort of, it has never stopped me from doing so though.

when i was younger, i would be mortified if so much as a tiny squeek leaked out of me while using the public facilities. but now that i am an old fart, i no longer care if i make a big noise or a big olfactory offense, as other folk using the facilities seem unconcerned with their own obnoxious emissions either.

I don't much worry about it these days, I mean we all do it, don't we?

I felt a tad disgusted many years back when my girlfriend's mother conducted a conversation with her while urinating - she opened the toilet door to do so, only a few inches, thank God. Silly really, but I didn't like it at all. If I remember right, I was eating at the time, which made it worse.

Wonder if there is a connection between this and "shy bladder syndrome"
Also wonder if there's any research papers on the topic.

shy bladder is the inability to go, i can still go but i will release slowly and clamp it off if it starts getting above a whisper.

That's what I meant, really, whether your issue is connected. I know that sexuality tends to be altered in some/many aspies, so modesty/embarrassment about urinating and dedicating would seem likely to be also affected.