Any AS grow up in an alcoholic home or know one who did?

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southpawcannon
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04 Jul 2010, 6:11 pm

Curious to know what you had to deal with, if the effects of growing up in said alcoholic family worsened your symptoms, etc. I have some symptoms of AS but these happen to also be the results of growing up in an alcoholic home, so I'm wondering if the effects of the latter is really the issue, having disrupted my way of life that bad. Or, if I've been high-functioning AS all along and as I began growing up into a teen I saw more of how bad my father's alcoholism was, and became more directly affected by it, largely from an emotional standpoint with a little physical abuse thrown in.



Pistonhead
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04 Jul 2010, 6:34 pm

Not really. My dad had a single beer a day aside from during fishing trips. Me and my dad's relationship when I was young wasn't so great and I think I blame the alcohol (usually a bud light) subconsciously because he always had that beer as soon as he came home and he only got up from his recliner to punish me.


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southpawcannon
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04 Jul 2010, 6:41 pm

Pistonhead wrote:
Not really. My dad had a single beer a day aside from during fishing trips. Me and my dad's relationship when I was young wasn't so great and I think I blame the alcohol (usually a bud light) subconsciously because he always had that beer as soon as he came home and he only got up from his recliner to punish me.


That sucks dude. Our dads sure are some winners.



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04 Jul 2010, 6:55 pm

My dad has been better off since a year or two after my parents split. We're nearly identical behaviorally at this point. I'm actually probably the "real winner" as long as you don't count that my dad is a "player" when it comes to his girlfriends.


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gardengirl414
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04 Jul 2010, 7:27 pm

Not an alcoholic home - but one that certainly didn't know how to cope with things which led to emotional/physical abuse. My dad was a decent person, but he was always at work - and if he wasn't there, he was helping someone else, or working at home.
My mom on the other hand, was not able to cope - we routinely took spankings (who am I kidding - beatings is more like it) when she snapped over an argument or when she just couldn't handle it anymore.

So yes, I can perfectly see how issues of alcholism or other abuse could/would make having As more difficult. Really, situations like that would make any type of disorder worse - a lot of NT's come out of a childhood situation like that with issues.



Shadwell
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04 Jul 2010, 7:40 pm

My mother and father both drank themselves to death. My mother much more quickly than my father who died recently. So I've had some similar identity issues: how much is Asperger's and how much is being an adult child of an alcoholic. I've had certain aspergers traits even before my childhood got f****d up though. At any rate, I have some major issues with anxiety and making connections with people.



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04 Jul 2010, 9:08 pm

My dad got drunk in 1956 and finally sobered up in 1981 when he died. He was a violent, mean drunk. I have all sorts of problems with intials, like PTSD and so on. And anger.



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04 Jul 2010, 10:48 pm

I had two alcoholic step dads. The first one sometimes got violent with us, but when my mom found out about that, she got rid of him. To this day, I don't like drunks.


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Claradoon
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04 Jul 2010, 10:55 pm

cyberscan wrote:
I had two alcoholic step dads. The first one sometimes got violent with us, but when my mom found out about that, she got rid of him. To this day, I don't like drunks.

HURRAY for your Mom! That is rare, I don't think I'm the only one wishing my Mom had saved me. You could phone up your Mom and tell her she's just great! :D



cyberscan
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04 Jul 2010, 11:10 pm

Claradoon wrote:
cyberscan wrote:
I had two alcoholic step dads. The first one sometimes got violent with us, but when my mom found out about that, she got rid of him. To this day, I don't like drunks.

HURRAY for your Mom! That is rare, I don't think I'm the only one wishing my Mom had saved me. You could phone up your Mom and tell her she's just great! :D


I still live with her and passed your message :-)


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Rocky
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05 Jul 2010, 4:38 am

My father was an alcoholic who intermittently abstained for long periods. I suspect that he was mildly on the AS spectrum. He showed signs of anxiety. I suspect that he drank as a form of self medication. I was introverted and hesitant to get to know others for several reasons.

1. Fear of my father embarrassing me.
2. Our bizarre religion
3. We moved a lot. (Usually every two years)
4. I might also be mildly on the spectrum. ( I have other traits too.)

There was never any physical abuse, if anything, I was probably spoiled in many ways.

If you haven't already done so, you should Google "Adult Children of Alcoholics." I am not convinced of the theories presented on this subject, but it is worth checking out.


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scorpileo
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05 Jul 2010, 5:25 am

Yeah, I did.. my father and violent with it. mother had to get a court order against him..

as to if it caused any traits.. no but it did highten them as any truma does


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kx250rider
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05 Jul 2010, 11:13 am

I grew up with my mother and my aunt, both of whom were moderately heavy drinkers. They both were fully functional, and did not come home and get drunk or anything, but they seemed to need a few glasses of wine every single day in the late afternoon until bed time. Then when I was 13, my uncle came to stay with us, and he was a full-blown alcoholic and addict. He would buy alcohol, and drink til the bottle was empty, and pass out. Sometimes on the sidewalk before he'd make it back to the house, and the paramedics had to come get him. He'd search the house for old prescription drugs, and take them. I was on Ritalin at the time, and he got the whole newly-filled bottle and took the whole thing. Not sure if related, but he had a heart attack later that week. Survived, but it didn't teach him a thing about his lifestyle. I never had friends over (in fact I had no friends my age anyway)... I would always go visit my adult friends at their houses or businesses. But if I had been NT, and had friends my age, I'd have felt weird not being able to have any over at our house due to shame and humiliation. I think it made me rebel from the family's acceptance of alcohol, and caused me not to want to get involved in that kind of activity. And I didn't. I can remember feeling like I was living in Hell, when I already was "that weird kid", and now I had an uncle who would get on hallucinogenics, and do things like decide that there were demons living in the ironing board, ripped it out of the wall, and carried it out into the middle of a busy street and set it on fire to kill the demons. Not long after that episode, he had to get locked up in the Illinois State Hospital.

Charles



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05 Jul 2010, 4:59 pm

My Dad died last year at the age of only 44, due to the effects of years of heavy drinking and drug use. Just drank himself to death. It still seems so senseless.

He was homeless and didn't have a permanent address when he died. It's a long story, but my brother and I still have not gotten his ashes or had any kind of memorial service for him. We hadn't been on speaking terms for years before he died, either. So, I don't really feel I have gotten a sense of closure.

It's frustrating because I really would like to be able to turn a page on some aspects of my childhood related to his substance abuse. Some of the things I saw while growing up have effected me and my adult relationships in ways I still don't fully understand. So, I don't know that I'll ever be able to 'turn a page,' as much as just better cope.

In retrospect, knowing what I know now, he definitely had AS. And, I believe he began drinking as a way of self-medicating. Knowing this helps me deal with some of the anger I have towards him, but it's not enough.



gardengirl414
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06 Jul 2010, 9:27 am

gardengirl414 wrote:
So yes, I can perfectly see how issues of alcholism or other abuse could/would make having As more difficult. Really, situations like that would make any type of disorder worse - a lot of NT's come out of a childhood situation like that with issues.


Just to clarify - I don't think that having an alcholic/abusive parent causes AS behaviors, but I do think that this type of home life would exacerbate those behaviors that are already present, not to mention possibly adding additional issues stemming from abuse.