another do i have?.. should i see the doc?

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I hope you don't mind asking for your opinion. I have been wondering if i am just a little different by choice or if i am just a little different because i am simply just different.

sorry its a little long.. (clicking preview i notice its more than a little long, thank you to anyone who takes the time to read and reply to me)

I get help from learning support at college because i have trouble getting things out my head and mentioned my other problems after i had read about aspergers (that came about after reading the news about someone being diagnosed with aspergers who had some similar problems to my own), she had suggested that if i feel it would help i should ask for a referral from my doctor. i could get some better help i i did and it would explain a lot of things for myself.


A little background, im 23, I have had very few friends in the past, none now, i have girlfriend though. In school i usually had a few friends and always in the small group of people who didnt fit into the norm mind you, however outside school i never really had any contact with anyone from school. I had a couple of friends i eventually lost contact with and the only time I was around people was generally when i was out playing with my brother and his friends.

apparently according to my mum a psychologist saw my near the and of primary school because i had a lot of trouble writing, i still do generally, i have trouble with any sort of output, writing, speaking, reading aloud off a page(i sound like a three year old if i read off a page) which is annoying because i tend to have a million thoghts in my head and i can only ever get a fraction of them out when i write them down or talk.

apparently the stuff i think about is not particularly normal, i look at things and imagine how they were made, what the blueprints would look like, how things are built how they communicate (computers etc). i basically tend to xray vision into things is how i think about it.

im terrible in social situations, i never know what to say, when to talk, what to do, i always feel out of place, im a lot calmer if its only a few people and I know them in some way but as soon at its over 4 people or people i dont know i get really nervous, scared, if i felt i could get away with it id sneek off or not turn up.

Recently for (i have a girlfriend, a miracle in its self), me and my girlfriend went to a pub to meet her friend and her friends friend, at one point i pulled out a packet of kit kats from my bag and asked them all if they wanted one and they all looked at me and laughed a bit, i was hungry and i thought id share them, apparently i was talking a load of crap as well. I remember saying something about a seegull that was walking around, i said it was waiting for someone or something like that, apparently not funny, my girlfriend also said i was talking about death but i dont remember that

I have a great interest in computers and astronomy, specifically Free Software ive got a big aversion to proprietary software, i do notice if i have the chance to bring the subject up on ether topic ill go on and on about it either until ive ran out of stuff to say or ive noticed ive said way to much, i usually tend to notice after no one has said much that ive probably gone on to long.

I never knew anything about stimming until i read i here, apparently rocking or pacing is common, though i dont do that at least not the pacing i bounce my leg up and down, especially at college ive noticed, i tap my toes together, rub my thumb and finger together or my fingers against my palm.

Silly things like, i never know what im supposed to do with my arms (and hands) especially when walking i feel like aquard, i need to put my hands in my pockets or hold something usually, ive been told i walk rigidly. In my house i tend to walk on my toes a lot, only slightly ive noticed though like my heals are 1cm off the ground, and i dont always do it, i do i a lot at night though.

I tend to have bad eye contact, i never took great concern over it before, but since thinking about it, i can remember only two occasions where ive really looked into someone's eyes for more than a second and im not really sure how to explain it, it was uncomfortable to say the least. ive noticed i do look a lot at the side of people eyes, between there nose or my eyes unfocus from the person completely, for example my eyes will focus somewhere in front of there face rather than on there face so there face and eyes are blurry.

I have to plan things, theres been times where ive gotten really upset and annoyed when someone asked me to take them somewhere or pick them up or go out at the last minute, i hate it. When i go to the shops I plan my route through the super market, i tend to visualise where exactly i need to go though a place plotting a path though the people in a place that will get my from a-b in the most efficient way will avoiding crowds.

Recently my girlfriend wanted to go to a restaurant ive not been to, i eventually gave in to going so long as she would give me good directions, we got there ok untill i saw there was 2 ways into the car park and i started to panic i didnt know what to do, so already nervous about a new place she told me to take the second entrance and i nearly crashed into a car coming out i didnt even see it, turned out you can go in and out of the car park both ways. that out of they way i was now shaking and sweating because of the building i was going into, i dont like new places if i dont know what they look like, i eventually calmed down after 20min though.

I dont like loud noise, though its oddly more complicated than that, what i dont like is loud dynamic noise. low pitched noise thats fairly constant like engines, low pitched buzzing, and similar sounds are fine. when i hear higher pitched sounds i cant think, concentrate or do anything, i tend not to hear people properly. people talking is especially a problem if theres noise, i usually end up looking at there lips in case i dont fully hear what they say so i can try and fill it in. the phone i worse especially if i need to pass on the information, i tend to not fully understand people sometimes and if i dont try hard to remember ill forget as soon as i hang up.

I dont like the heat either though this is probably just because i dont work well in hot weather, but i cant sleep with covers or i wake up soaking, i tend to have my back against a cold wall to try and sleep, showers are the same, i tend to have warm/cool showers if i turn it up any higher it feels like it burns, it the same with any type of hot drink, on the other hand im not really bothered touching hot things, there still hot but its not painfull like a hot shower.

I just finished college this year (got a year to go) i hate to say it but i failed college 3 times before, not because i couldnt do it the stuff was easy but because i think due to a mix of having to go to a building full of people, going to a place with incompetent teachers and wanting to run away because i just felt i dont know, like it was to much some times even if it was easy. i eventually decided to get some help and id probably say my girlfirend has been the thing thats made me push my self though a whole year of college.

i also keep being asked why im not laughing at things, ive sat in a room where everyone's laughing and im sitting there with a straight face, or i laugh at odd things. i keep being told i dont look happy sometime when im perfectly happy, i just dont smile much.



i could probably go on about a load of other things and go into a lot more detail about what ive said but ive probably bored everyone already so to the point.

I guess im asking your opinion because i dont want to waste the doctors time, on the one hand, i dont really know, i know im not exactly your normal average person, i never have been but i would like to know, it would probably put my mind at rest. Im in the UK so if i did get a referral it would be free.

The only way to know for sure is to go for an evaluation. No one on a website can diagnose you.

That said, it's basically a waste of time and money if you don't need services. For example, in my state, there is an autism waiver in which a person who meets very specific financial and functional criteria can get people to come into the house, take the person into the community, provide assistive technology devices, and many other things. Some people get special services in college (I'm not sure what these are, as I didn't need them in college). It sounds like you're already taken care of at school, though. There are sometimes groups specifically for people with Asperger's/HFA at large hospital psychiatric centers. If you foresee needing services like these at some point in your life, then by all means, go for a diagnosis. If not, I would say it's not worth your time and money.

I agree with Super Trouper, in the fact that if you don't need assistance then don't pay a ridiculous amount of money to have someone diagnose you. Because at the end of the day you will still be the same amazing person you are and thats all that matters.

Overall though you seem to have a bunch of aspie traits. I have quite a few and I had a hard time with social aspects and eye contact but now i end up staring at peoples eyes and not necessarily making eye contact but staring at one of their eye balls. Sometimes I end up realizing I've zoned out while staring at one and weird my self out a little. As for the hands thing I wear a radio and headset at work and so i hold onto the microphone wire, because I also never know what to do with my hands. Just remember to stay awesome and we are always here to help.

SuperTrouper, Prksrbrt The money isnt an issue, since theres free health care in the UK so thats not a problem. I consider myself pretty lucky my college gives me help even though ive no official problem, im dreading going to uni in a year and a half though, without the help i get justnow i dont think id have got through college and i dont know how well uni would support someone without an official diagnosis if at all.

On the other hand though, i have worked hard to try and improve myself to some effect, and i know that if I do have AS it does not sevearly impare me to the point where i cant live my life, though i definetly probably will never live my life like your average person.