Awkward silence during a therapy session

Page 1 of 2 [ 22 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Goob234
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 1 May 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 39
Location: Athens, GA

11 May 2019, 7:32 pm

Does anyone have moments of awkward silences in a therapy session. When you dont know what to say next or you dont know if it is your turn to talk. So you just awkwardly nod slowly. Or am I just weird?


_________________
Do what you love and love what you do.

neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 148 of 200
neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 72 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
AQ test- 37


BeaArthur
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Aug 2015
Posts: 4,922

11 May 2019, 8:43 pm

Awkward silences are standard in a therapy session. You shouldn't worry about it.


_________________
Gone.


shortfatbalduglyman
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Mar 2017
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,043

11 May 2019, 9:15 pm

It is not just awkward for you

It is also awkward for the counselor



Goob234
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 1 May 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 39
Location: Athens, GA

11 May 2019, 9:42 pm

shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
It is not just awkward for you

It is also awkward for the counselor

That doesnt really make me feel better about it. 8O :lol:


_________________
Do what you love and love what you do.

neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 148 of 200
neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 72 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
AQ test- 37


shortfatbalduglyman
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Mar 2017
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,043

11 May 2019, 9:52 pm

The counselor is getting $$$$

You are paying $$$$$


Sometimes there is no correct answer, who is supposed to talk


"Actions speak louder than words "

"Loose lips sink ships"



BeaArthur
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Aug 2015
Posts: 4,922

11 May 2019, 11:15 pm

Goob234 wrote:
shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
It is not just awkward for you

It is also awkward for the counselor

That doesnt really make me feel better about it. 8O :lol:

Here's an idea. Why not talk to the therapist about it? You could say "What's happening here?" or "Are you waiting for me to talk?"


_________________
Gone.


shortfatbalduglyman
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Mar 2017
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,043

11 May 2019, 11:52 pm

There is no right or wrong answer

But the customer is always right



Raised By Wolves
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 27 Jan 2015
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 106
Location: UK

12 May 2019, 1:46 am

Goob234 wrote:
Does anyone have moments of awkward silences in a therapy session. When you dont know what to say next or you dont know if it is your turn to talk. So you just awkwardly nod slowly. Or am I just weird?



isn't that called conversation?



firemonkey
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Mar 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,305
Location: Calne,England

12 May 2019, 3:50 am

The OP reminds me of a therapy session I had about 20 years ago. I sat down and waited for the therapist to say something I could reply to. Total silence . That went on for about 15-20 minutes. I felt totally uncomfortable.


_________________
Support mental health research
Please support mental health research
http://www.mentalhealthresearchuk.org.uk/
http://mcpin.org/
https://www.mqmentalhealth.org/


Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 133 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 47 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)


Amity
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Mar 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,930
Location: Meandering

12 May 2019, 4:08 am

Different therapists take different approaches. I don't care for those large silences when every minute costs a euro...
I tell them that I find the silence confusing and stressful and would rather they prompt the conversation at those moments, as otherwise I would be masking and not really present.



shortfatbalduglyman
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Mar 2017
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,043

12 May 2019, 9:08 am

Different counselors at different times, want different amounts of awkward silence

The goal is not continuous talking

Quantity versus quality



magz
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2017
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,245
Location: Poland

12 May 2019, 9:21 am

BeaArthur wrote:
Goob234 wrote:
shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
It is not just awkward for you

It is also awkward for the counselor

That doesnt really make me feel better about it. 8O :lol:

Here's an idea. Why not talk to the therapist about it? You could say "What's happening here?" or "Are you waiting for me to talk?"

+1
My therapist asks these questions herself but I think asking them would be the right to do.


_________________
Keep calm and choose your battles carefully.


Aspie1
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,654
Location: United States

12 May 2019, 3:35 pm

Goob234 wrote:
Does anyone have moments of awkward silences in a therapy session. When you dont know what to say next or you dont know if it is your turn to talk. So you just awkwardly nod slowly. Or am I just weird?

It's your shrink trying to psych you out or even mad-dog you. It's something bullies do to their victims. He/she does that to deliberately make you uncomfortable, to push you into doing all the talking, so he/she doesn't have to do any work except sit and stare. All while conveniently deluding you into thinking you're being helped. They're the ones our society entrusts to work with vulnerable patients, unfortunately.

My own shrink used to do something similar. While she didn't stoop to mad-dogging me, she used to stare at me with that patronizing smile, like you'd stare at a three-week-old puppy stumbling while trying to walk. It always happened when I said something too intelligent for her to comprehend, or when I talked about my parents favoring my niece over me. Like locking me out of my room, and telling her "take anything you want", including trinkets of sentimental value to me, and blithely ignoring my protests. When I told my shrink that, she just smiled patronizingly, and said: "Your niece sounds adorable."

Sadly, there's not much you can do to push back, except...

...Fight dirty. Next time your shrink stares at you, say in a loud, accusing voice: "Are you staring at my breasts?! You have no idea how demeaning that is! Especially to someone you're supposed to help!" (It works especially well if your shrink is a man, but it can work on a woman shrink too.) Then sit back and watch the shrink stammer and squirm; just avoid smirking as he/she apologizes profusely. There's nothing shrinks fear more than sexually-related accusations. Use that to your advantage.



BeaArthur
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Aug 2015
Posts: 4,922

12 May 2019, 4:43 pm

Aspie1, you have a paranoia when it comes to shrinks. I'm only addressing this because absorbing your biases may cause someone else's therapy to fail.

Two-thirds of my therapists have really been helpful to me, which is about the same percentage as medical doctors.


_________________
Gone.


shortfatbalduglyman
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Mar 2017
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,043

12 May 2019, 4:58 pm

Bea Arthur

Thus far I have had 35 counselors

A couple of them "helped"

"Helped" what, advice? Sympathy?

Their advice is not necessarily better than layman's advice

The counselors field is the :skull: Diagnosic statistical manual, :mrgreen: not relationships and emotions


Not many things fall neatly into the dsm



Only a couple of counselors "helped" me



Some of them were just annoying


Indulgent lil compliments

Judgmental

The lil dipshits said "what" and "huh" instead of "excuse me"

They tell you what they think you want to hear, based on what they imagine they would want to hear, in your situation


:roll:


Few counselors could :? think outside the box :twisted:



A disproportionate number of counselors, expected me to believe whatever they told me

No disagreement allowed

Counselor Jeanne Courtney did not even know the difference between "mad", and "angry"


Even after I brought a dictionary, she just chuckled wisely

"How do you feel when people use words outside the dictionary definition?"

:mrgreen:


Jeanne is not "people"



Jeanne is an on duty professional, :cry: in that field :evil:


Jeanne should have taken notes


Not just progress notes


Student notes

None of them, "helped me " enough to justify their income


Jeanne "helped" me one dollar and the insurance paid her 75



Jeanne cheated me 74


Mister redelings "hurt" me ten dollars

He earned zero

He cheated me ten dollars


Thus Jeanne "hurt" me more than mister redelings, even though she remained in the positive






:mrgreen:



Context


:D