i want a baby so bad

Post Reply New Topic

hi i am a young girl but i really want a little baby i dont know what to do is there anyone out there that wants this 2

yes i really want a baby. but i also want to be a actress, model, poet, and have my own business, i realize i want the baby after the other things, so can make sure he or she have a decent life.
but the other things i want them to come fast it took me a long time to realize it's not 123 i'm there, so with a baby i decided when people ask say yes i do cause it's true but i can wait.
to give him or her the life the deserve.

My advice is to do some babysitting. Wanting a child is a natural thing, but it's a huge responsibility and there are no do-overs or take-backs. What would you have to offer a baby? How will you pay for food, clothes, college and so on? There are also potential medical expenses, braces, transportation and so on. Raising children is wonderful but it's also the hardest and most expensive thing you'll ever do.

Spend as much time as you can with babies and small children. This will help you see what they are really like and develop the skills to be a good parent when the appropriate time comes.

That's normal.

But yeah, you really don't as Kiley demonstrated. Those things grow up, too.

If you are a young girl, then I STRONGLY urge you to take your time.

Just to let you know a little about me, I'm married and have been with my wife for over 10 years now, will be married for 5 years this year. We'd been together a LONG time it seemed, to the point that she just felt I was stringing her along and she gave up all hope of having children, even though I was in favor of it soon after we got married.

She caught "baby fever" after her father died, which happened 6 months to the day after our wedding. I only asked her to give me enough time to make sure my job would hold out and it wasn't long after that we started actually trying. She was pregnant within 3 months after stopping BC, and we've been really happy.

Not long after that, we had a little "oopsy" and a little girl 7 months later.

What I want you to know is that we waited until after we were BOTH out of college before we even got married, much less tried having children. I actually had earned my master's degree, during which time we had to live apart for two years. Even after I came home, she needed another year to finish her degree because she'd taken some time off from school and THEN spent a summer in Mexico!! ! We even took some time before we got married and even after to just enjoy ourselves and do some things we'd always wanted to do but couldn't because of money or school.

After having two children, we ran into financial difficulties, had to sell our big, 5-bedroom home in the city, and move into a double-wide trailer just outside the city limits (yeah, with the REST of the poor people! lol). It's difficult now to even drive the 100 miles or so to visit my mom or her grandmother (recently disabled from a stroke, among other health problems). When one of our favorite musicians has a concert nearby or friends invite us to join them on a vacation trip, we have to decline because #1 we can't afford it and #2 we can't find babysitters to keep our kids for days at a time. Basically we had to give up our lives once we had children.

Does that mean we're miserable? Absolutely not! We didn't stop being who we are, it's more that we just had to expand our lives as a couple to include two extra little people. They don't care that our house is small or that we don't have a lot of nice things. All they really need are clean diapers, the occasional meal, LOTS of discipline, even MORE love, and a safe place to sleep. We can't imagine life WITHOUT our children, and the few things we get to do we actually include our children (which is the trick to having something resembling any kind of life when you do have kids).

But the most important thing is that we are a lot more mature than we were, say, 15 years ago. We've also taken the time to accomplish those things in life that were important to us when we were younger. We couldn't have done that if there had been children in the picture. The difference between us now and us then is we've learned a lot about life with and without children to know how to accomplish what is most important to us despite our circumstances. I've even given thought to going back to school for my doctorate in hopes that I could get a university job and bring in more money to support my family as well as live near good public schools so my children can have a good education and maybe even have the same or better opportunities my wife and I had growing up.

The last thing I want to say is that (I'm guessing) what you really want is just a BABY. Because we waited as long as we did to have children, we figured out certain things that a lot of younger parents miss. For example, we know parents who have children as old as 3 years who won't sleep all through the night. We kick OUR children out of our bedroom before they were 3 MONTHS old, and the baby monitor was switched off not long after. What you have to decide is whether you are okay with not getting any sleep for 3 months. Not only that, but even after they start sleeping all night, they can sometimes wake up when they nightmares or night terrors (terrors you ignore because they don't actually wake up from these) or just simply don't have a sense of the time. Our oldest was waking up all the time after we moved to our new place, so we'd turn him around and make him walk right back to his room! He was sleeping again within 2 or 3 days. If you figure out the trick to getting them to sleep all night, which shouldn't be that difficult after about three months, you have one MAJOR problem left: Babies grow up and develop their own personalities. My little girl is absolutely in love with ME, not her mother, but after she gets a few seconds of cuddle time, she wants back on the floor so she can go chase her brother. The love affair is basically OVER, but that is simply a part of growing up, just like learning to walk and talk. They don't KNOW right from wrong, so you HAVE to punish them when they mess up. It's a heartbreaking thing to do because you have to make them cry (they cry because they've been made to feel sorry or guilty about something, whether punishment means spanking or some other unpleasantness, which can simply just be taking away a favorite toy). They're OK once you get past 3 years, but you have to start all over again when they are about 8 to 12 years. By 16 years, they are their own person and don't really need you for all that much, and within a few short years after that they are out of your life. If you can look at a newborn and really see or imagine a 16-year-old who might actually hate you, then you are a lot closer to being ready to have children yourself. This is NOT something you want to get into before you are 24 years old or so.

I see where you're coming from OP. I've been feeling that way as well, but of course you should wait until you're older, because I'm doing that of course. We may be grown up physically but chances are we aren't emotionally mature yet.

I strongly agree with Kiley. Do some babysitting or some other job that involves working with babies or young children. That will quiet your 'mother instinct' and it will also develop the appropriate skills for when you do become a parent when you're older.

Babies aren't that much fun. They cry constantly, they throw up, pee on you, you have to change smelly diapers. Not to mention the whole pregnancy and giving birth bit.. plus they're very expensive.. food, diapers, doctor's visits, clothes, etc. Make sure you're ready to deal with all the negatives that come along with parenting.

i know how to look after babys i have had to look after them all my life. i dont think people on this understand how much i know and want to have a baby thank you for your replys tho

I don't think understanding your intense desire for motherhood is the problem. I think they're telling you what you don't want to hear, which is that it's highly likely that getting pregnant and consequently raising a child is not a good idea.

You may know how to look after one, but you are, you say, a young girl. You haven't said your age but I'm going to guess at about 16/18?

You are nowhere near ready to have a child. How are you going to pay for a child's food, nappies, clothes, and healthcare? Even if you had a steady job and could afford all those things, you would miss out on so much of life if you had a child at your age.

Seriously. Listen to your reason and not your hormones. It sucks that you feel so bad, but it's not like you can't ever have a child. Live your life in the meantime, work hard and have fun, and you can have a child when you're older and ready.

^^ Good advice, right here.

Children need a stable, nurturing, and structured home environment to grow up in to maximize their chances for long-term happiness, independence, and success. Do you want your children to be independent, happy, and successful? Have you created a stable, nurturing, and structured home in which to bear children?

I wanted to have a baby so bad in high school and envied the other teen moms in my school but you know what, I have talked to few of them and they all said it was hard. I even talked to an aid there and she was also a teen mom too and she also said it was hard getting though high school after she had the baby. I think she was 18 when she had her but she was still in her senior year or junior year, she was 19 when she graduated. And I read only %10 of teen moms finish high school. Most of them drop out to support their child by working. I also knew a girl in my cooking class who also had a child between her junior and senior year and she also didn't have much free time. She still went to school but she also had to work to support her baby. She even paid someone to watch her while she is working and in school. She didn't do sports. I also knew another girl my age who also had a child but I don't know what she did to support her too. I also knew another girl my age who also had a baby at the end of her junior year and she also finished high school. I don't know what she did to support her as well. But they both finished high school. Then there was another girl in my grade who also finished school but her daughter was special needs so she had her on social security so she was using the money to support her. Sometimes kids bring their babies to school, in my senior year, there was finally a daycare across the street for them because my school didn't want anyone bringing their babies to school.

I still wanted to have a child after I got out but I wasn't ready to be a parent because I was single and then I wasn't but my ex was lazy and I didn't see how he take care of a baby if he wanted to be on the computer all the time and do nothing else. Then I was with another guy and still wasn't ready and then I met my husband and wasn't ready and now we are.

Don't forget to take into consideration your mental health. Kids do NOT give you alone time. They suck the life out of you. It's worse when you have AS. Nothing is your own.. not your belongings, not your time and not your energy.

double post

Too many people are on..it's so slow! You, you and you need to log out. LOL

If you still insist on having a baby, I can think of 3 options.

A) Grow up, get married, have kids.

B) Wait until you are 21, go to a singles bar and get drunk, when you wake up, you'll be pregnant.

C) Contact a sperm bank. Costs about $500.