Do you ever wonder whether you would be better off alone?

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Do you ever wonder whether you would be better off alone, instead of being with a partner and constantly hurting them via inappropriate comments?

I feel like I am the worst candidate to be a partner in a relationship.

My bf told me his sister is going through a rough time at the moment and probably should go to the doctor and get some anti-depressants. He is worried about her he tells me. He told me this later though, he didn't tell me this first and I wasn't able to pick up on it at the start of the conversation.

So, when he told me this, I told him what I knew about anti-depressants and how sometimes doctors just prescribe them to people and then the person can just feel happy about their crappy life instead of feeling sad about it and perhaps it might be a good idea if she made some changes in her life to feel better about it instead of just taking medicine to feel better about something bad.

He got really mad at me and said he had just wanted to talk to me about it rather than feeling like I am arguing with him. Now I feel guilty about not being supportive. It's just that when I hear about people who are sent to the doctor because they are depressed to get anti-depressants, it gets my back up because ad's are not the only answer.

All that aside, this stuff with my bf happens all the time, I often say the wrong thing and then feel super guilty about it. I really do wonder if it would be easier to live alone with just my pets with nobody to offend...... besides, my sympathetic responses when people are upset will only be a trained behavior anyway. Due to my form of AS, I don't appear to be able to convey sympathy to other people....

I don't wonder, I know. This goes not just for romantic relationships but for social interaction in general.

I've got the same problem, but for a different reason:

I don't spend as much time with him as BOTH of us would prefer because I've always put work/school first. He's the only person I've ever been with and maybe I still don't really know what I'm doing.

I love him (I know this) and we get along really well. We have a lot in common too BUT it's like I'm always living in the future, "preparing" for this or that (get my degree--done; working towards getting a job/career I really want--in progress; etc., etc.). For some reason, the whole concept of "being in a relationship" has always taken a back seat to everything else. I know that's hurting him (and me too) but I don't know what to do about it.

I used to tutor female students at my community college. They always told me about the problems they were having with husbands/boyfriends/exes, child custody/support, alimony, etc. Maybe I'm just being too cautious about preparing for the possibility of bad stuff happening, especially in this economy.

Any thoughts? I really don't know what to do next.

(p.s., didn't mean to hijack your thread, ponies--sorry about that)

For me the answer is neither. My mental state deteriorate (get lost in my thought, so become hard to be productive and make me more vulnerable to depressive mood for I tend to be pessimistic) if I stay by myself for a too lengthy period but dealing with emotion of other and my own when in relation with people is extremely stressful, so for me it is mostly trying to strike a balance between the two.

So far I've proven to myself that I can not successfully maintain a relationship because of my AS so I'm going to try another Aspie this time and if that doesn't work I'm willing going to be alone forever

Glad I am different from the rest of you and dont feel lonely or incomplete.

Heh. I can relate to that all too well on multiple levels.

First off, I agree with your particular assessment. In my own experience with
prescription antidepressants, they led me down a slow steady path toward pathetically
stagnant complacence. I'm glad I kicked the habit to rescue some vestige of emotional
authenticity in my life. Your BF would do well to heed your warning on his sister's behalf.

I can relate on the second level because (as you can tell from my preceding comment),
I am quite blunt on advice. I do not dilute my messages with sentimental drivel. Hence,
it is TOO candid for most NTs to absorb, leaving me virtually NO appeal romantically.
I probably represent the ANTITHESIS of who you should emulate.

So from one uncompromisingly stubborn Aspie to another, I tip my hat to you.

OH! But for your question about being alone: NO.

The communication gap between my friends and me
only adds to the mutually entertaining appeal of our conversations.

As for romantic relationships: enjoy what you can.
Such luxuries are rarely granted to Aspie men.

I'm better off alone. Having less people around is just easier and more comforting for me.

Sometimes I think this, but other times I just feel really lonely. My mood varies. It's weird and quite annoying.

yes i do

someone told me that relationships are all about magnifiying what isnt right inside you so you will change. kindof like a mirror? this cant be true

is changing something you dont like really this hard? and why do you need another person to see you need to change? unbelievable!