Shutdowns - autistic?

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This is my first real post, so I'm not sure if there are already a million threads about this. Please be kind

I'm mostly NT, and I'm wondering if my boyfriend is AS.
I had no idea what Asperger's was until about a month ago, when I started looking up my boyfriend's shutdowns.
I didn't even know they were called shutdowns - I used to call it shutouts, ice mode, freeze, and a few other things.
Basically he goes into this state where he closes his eyes, his body goes limp and lifeless like a corpse, he isn't able to talk and it doesn't seem like he can hear me.
It didn't used to be so severe - he used to just avoid eye contact and talking, and needed a few hours on his computer.
Long story, but I think it's gotten worse because of me.

Does anybody know of non-autistic shutdowns?
I'm waiting for a particularly bad chain of shutdowns to pass so that I can talk to him..
Until then I'm trying to narrow down what might be at the root of it.

Last edited by TruthTree on 04 Jul 2010, 3:08 pm, edited 3 times in total.

it could be maybe you should have him take a few online test,
http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html

http://www.piepalace.ca/blog/asperger-test-aq-test/

I would talk to him about AS if he didn't shutdown on me when I try. (Only tried it once, though.)

Last edited by TruthTree on 04 Jul 2010, 3:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Of course it could be something else. Have you looked at the DSM criteria for diagnosing Asperger's Disorder or High Functioning Autism? There are a lot of things involved beyond mere communication avoidance.

Why are you interested in convincing him that he may have Autism? Are you expecting him to say "Eureka! Thanks so much Honey, for showing me that I have a neurological disorder that's incurable and untreatable - now we can tell everyone and they'll think I'm crazy or ret*d!"

I do not recommend that you take any test for him. You've brought it to his attention, if he feels the need to look for answers, he'll look. Someone emailed me a webarticle on AS with the header 'Read this, it sounds like you'. They didn't push it on me. It just so happened that I read it and it didn't just 'sound like' me - it was me, in every aspect and regard. But knowing that didn't provide me with any miraculous answers or insight. I pretty much knew I had it for several years after that, without it making any difference in my life whatsoever. It didn't become important until I realized it was affecting me to the point that I could no longer survive on my own.

So if you think that proving to him he has Autism is going to help your relationship, don't count on it. Getting diagnosed made me realize how unhappy I was living with another person. So I filed for Disability and got a divorce. But I'll be forever grateful to her for sending me that article.

Sounds like it, but has he always done this? Surprised he hasn't been evaluated already...maybe he has been and hasn't told you.

Or maybe he's recently developed something else. Could be related to having seizures, possibly. That can really change a person's behavior and trigger some autistic like traits. I say bring it up to him, it's AS- like but it could be an indicator of something more serious. He needs to see a doctor.

I appreciate your reply Willard.
You're right, I'm not going to try and convince him. I've mentioned it to him so he can look it up if he wants.

I've been looking up his shutdown behaviour and I couldn't find any examples of it outside of links to autism, which is why I asked.
It's not anything I've ever done so it's hard for me to understand.
I'm waiting for a shutdown to pass so that I can talk to him.
Meanwhile it helps me cope to try and understand what all this might mean.