Getting a realistic analysis / diagnosis

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Hi Aspie guys and Aspie gals,

I'm new here, so this is my first post

I've been reading a lot of topics here, love this forum.

Personally I was thinking that I might have AS. But my friends and a couple of professionals don't agree on that, or maybe a really mild version. Yesterday I also had an intake with a psychiatrist who said that I come across too connected to be AS. Does anyone recognize this from their earlier experiences, and did you get a different diagnosis or view of yourself later on?

Because I definitely recognise the following AS traits:
- wanting to talk on about my interests or facts that I've discovered, regardless of the exact conversation flow in a group of people or 1-on-1, kind of hijacking the conversation lol
- eye contact is often too intense or scary, unless I trust someone
- group socialisation costs (bucket)loads of energy most of the time
- generally feeling different, easily misunderstood
- tend to be black and white and having simple emotional reactions, a bit childlike
- feeling like I can't pin point other people's intentions very well (but sometimes I do OK on that if the social context is less complicated)
- dislike a lot of social conventions and having to comply
- issues with small talk, although I've had my moments where it worked when I was more relaxed and patient and focused on the social aspects
- preferring 'hyperfocus' work and tasks that are obvious from the start.
- getting stuck in focusing and being mesmerized by certain feelings or visual impressions like landscapes or maps or just people (women)
- being honest as possible, even when it costs me (tough on myself at that and others)
- thinking I've got a great addition to the conversation, sharing that, and discovering people are turned off by it.. Why??
- hard worker if I'm in my interest zone (if I'm doing my 'own' webdesign assignment at work), I just go on until it's finished, trying perfection
- open questions or stories that require 'clever and quick social thinking' are a drain
- thinking up my own words
- small meltdowns, like caving in when I get pressured / drawn into discussions too much at work, makes me want to go home badly, but it usually doesn't escalate. Can't comfort myself very well on that. Just need rest.
- usually quite calm in crisis situations, I don't think I take on other peoples emotions
- being generally sensitive, physically, visually and auditory (I hate my project manager if he ticks his pen or ring in some stupid rhythm when we're playing music, arghhh)
- some OCD-ish qualities (don't stare down at me in the train, for example I get angry)
- lots of depressive moments
- paranoid tendencies
- narcistic tendencies
- naive tendencies, giving into authority quickly
- my best mode of thinking is spatial: for example, connecting physical experiences (emotions / psychological states) with some sort of intuitive abstract 3D picture. Kind of feeling and seeing combined. Seems to be on the visual thinking spectrum.

But I don't have:
- narrow special interests
- an unstoppable drive to categorise everything (although sorting can be addictive when I get to it)
- no adaptation to people at all or loads of offences, or being fired without knowing why
- total aloofness
- difficulties with non-literal meanings
- severe clumsiness (I am not bad at sports, for example)
- dislike of pop culture or something
- a wish to stick with the facts all the time, more vague associations work fine for me too

I grew up as a single child with a possibly AS father (yeah he is pretty rigid and into his own interests). Mother is a bit ADD.

Hi thefunkybassist Welcome to WP.

Have you read any books on AS? Attwood's guide is very well done.

I think a lot of adults who were out of school prior to the mid 90s have had to deal with all kind of misconceptions in pursuing a diagnosis. I have been told I have many traits but my being married is a strike against it (wow, really? I didn't realize I was born married). That along with what I don't consider to be a very thorough assessment left me wanting to search out a specialist. As far as I've seen, marriage isn't listed in the dsm iv and there are a fair number of married diagnosed aspies here. Meh. So yes, I can identify with your question.

The things you don't have don't preclude AS, because those things by themselves aren't required for someone to be on the spectrum.

Thanks.

Yeah I've read some passages of Tony's book, quite informative. I have to buy it, I've got some book vouchers left to spend on that...

Do you enjoy the emotional attachment in your marriage? It seems like a lot of aspies don't like to deal with that side, I don't like too much of it either. I mean as long as there isn't much of emotional 'pressure' or demands building up, it's fine, but otherwise I prefer to get out. Kinda schizotypal

I think it can be a daunting task to determine where I am on the spectrum, I mean it seems to differ on a daily basis at times. But it sure helps to realize that everyone is somewhere on the spectrum, and you just need to know how to deal with the severity (or not) that you experience.

I don't think it is easy to convey (or interpret) this kind of information this way. I think you need to see how you fit with the diagnostic criteria for Asperger's (e.g. http://www.aspergers.com/aspcrit.htm) and run through some of the online assessments (e.g. http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt113459.html).

I disagree- you do recognize your own challenges and comparing your experiences with the community and reading expert opinions is I think a much better foundation for self-improvement and the seeking of diagnosis update if you feel it would help. Anyone reacting with "you're too X so Y must be the case" I would be highly skeptical of. Once you've met one person on the spectrum, you've met one person on the spectrum.

Thus, I welcome you here and encourage you to keep researching and sharing your findings. Writing about all your reactions and learning in a blog can be really helpful so you can see how your perception of yourself evolves.

Yeah I've been through a couple of tests, with different results. I did leave the diagnosis to professionals, although I didn't do any tests there because they didn't see reason to diagnose further. Just on the basis of how the communication feels. So that seems a bit subjective but I've had lots of people confirm that. Which is OK for now.

My current viewpoint is that I'm probably pretty mild on the AS symptoms, but I'm open to discovering new sides to that. So I was just wondering about the journeys of you (milder) AS guys & gals

I feel very kindly toward him, but I'm not overly attached. It sounds cold, but it's not. It's just this distance or isolation I've always sort of felt since I was a little kid. I don't like it when he's too attached to me, like wanting to be touchy or cuddle. And I have to have lots of alone time. I don't know how I feel emotionally. We've been together so long but I still haven't figured out all the feelings. They confusing so I don't bother. He's here, we live happily together, he understands my quirks, etc., so I consider my life to be good. Kind of emotionally flat sounding, eh?

I'm the same way with my husband. For a while, I thought it meant I didn't love him and just settled for the first person that came along. (we met at 18 and have been together since) I've been slowly realizing that I do love him, I just don't feel love the way it's been described to me by NT people.

Well it's good to hear that you know where you stand, I think it should work out all right if partners have sorta the same emotional needs, at least that's my idea about it. I do know I wouldn't want to pretend or be demanded of to be very connected to someone, with all kinds of jam packed emotional non verbal 2-way continuous exchange

I'm glad if I can be kind of connected sometimes...

Just having the same humour helps, for example.