How do you cope in public?

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In some ways I feel I should do but I feel more confident in myself in public that it feels I don't really need to put on a full mask but I've heard that some people who are on the spectrum feels like they need to put on a mask in public.

Plus having social anxieties didn't help me either and used to be afraid of crowds, even worse when it was heavy crowds to the point where I feel like to actually scream but I can't, and I think getting troubled in school by that kid in school probably what developed it really?

I'm not afraid of crowds like I used to but still have my awkward moments then.

So yea, how do you cope in public?

The way that I cope in public, is that I concentrate on what I'm doing, instead of the people around me. I also think, in my mind, that I have as much of a right to be in public, as everybody else does.

There is a reason why i prefer to stay at home.

When I have to ride on public transport, I wear wraparound sunshades, wear ear buds and listen to music. If I am in sensory overload, I pull up my hood, and ignore everyone. A book helps, too. If I start getting overwhelmed, I just go home if I can.

My mask broke after diagnosis.

I no longer have the ability to put on the neurotypical front.

Nor the desire.

But I realize now it never was working anyway. I was fooling myself to think the people around me couldn't tell I was different.

I listen to music, and bite my lip. Also, sometimes a book helps.

I just do what I have to do, not really caring what people think.

Mine broke too... strangely, without any conscious effort. The neurotypical diguise just started sloughing off as if it were made of a gelatin-like substance (which was transparent anyway) and I were playing a supporting part in a sci-fi film.

Unfortunately, in my line of work I need to keep things fairly presentable. I teach homeless recovery groups, which is fine; I can handle and even enjoy lecturing to five to ten people and even more even I had to. Large crowd don't even bother me (very often anyway), as I enjoy observing people.

I have the most trouble with one on one, or two on one exchanges. When I have to sit with them and interact this way, I feel as if I am under attack. It's epecially bad if I have a series of appointments, in which I have one or two people coming into my office every ten minutes consecutively. Sometimes it takes everything I have to not just run out.

Last edited by dyingofpoetry on 10 Aug 2010, 12:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I've been told I "put up a wall" when I'm in public, that my whole demeanor changes. I retreat into my imagination, becoming withdrawn, silent and completely oblivious to my surroundings. It's a defense mechanism so I don't become overwhelmed by the sounds and the amount of people in the vicinity, or what those people might say or do to me if they wanted to interact.

I'm fine coping in public. I'll probably get nervous if I have to socialise, but otherwise I'm generally fine. I just keep my head down and get on with sorting out whatever exceptional circumstance which has meant I have to actually go outside

I don't have social anxiety and never have, but I can at times be very unsure about what is expected of me and I often need reassurance and prompting from my older sibling (though I don't need it as much as I used to). I do relatively well in public, I guess, but it took lots of practise.

I do remember, however, having lots of panic attacks in public because I would be subjected to a lot of stimuli that made me feel sick (I used to have panic disorder and sensory stimuli was the biggest trigger for my panic attacks). Now if I am feeling like there's too much happening at once or I can't stand the smell of something, etc, I might need to quietly remove myself from the situation or I can try to use the people who I have travelled with to distract me, I suppose.

For the most part, I'm fine in public - apparently I come across as eccentric but people seem to be able to look past that.

Like some others who have posted, I work in a field where certain degrees/expressions of NT "normalcy" are required (medicine).

Although no one has necessarily yet expressed it in the following terms....I am finding it harder and harder to (a) "behave," even at work, and/or even "wanting to behave" to begin with.

More and more often I get the feeling that I should just cut loose...let myself be who and what I am instead of pretending anymore. It's exhausting, degrading, dishonest, and just plain BS in my book.

It's like when extroverted noisy (and usually shallow, as far as I'm concerned) people want to know what is "wrong" with people who don't act/think the same way that they do....and loudly proclaim that same belief....BUT...if one of us reserved people (finally) speak up and ask "Why can't you be more like US instead of us being more like you?"....well, then the judgement flows. I can let them be who and what they are just fine...but....it seems like "they" can never let us be who and what we are.

Anyhow...I'm tired of it. I've been married to the same woman off/on for more than 20 years, we've got 3 kids....and they're all NT's, I think...and while I realize how rare it is to have what I have as an Aspy, I also believe that life would be happier and easier for ALL of us if I were with someone else (or just alone), or if they had someone capable....and WILLING....of/to play(ing) the NT game, pretending to be one of them...

Sigh. Sorry for the rant. I"m just tired is all, and the post struck a nerve. I'm sick of it and don't think I can take it much longer nor do I want to take it much longer. I feel like I am thisclosetojustsayingwhatIhavetosayandoingwhatIhavetodo and being done with it.

now i'm a little bit better in public, but before I didn't do to well especially if i was alone, I always would walk looking down, at a fast pace, and i did a lot of self stimulatory behaviors while out, and having people look at me weird did not help.

so what I did was buy a cd player and some cd's and every time I went outside,
i took it with me i did this for years, i recently stop last year, but i see my old behavior before
the cd coming back,

a matter a fact today, i may go get a ipod or mp3 player to use.

My Ipod is my best friend in crowds. I can't go anywhere without her.

If I'm hanging out with people drinking helps. I feel a lot looser and less awkward.

I pick and choose my public battles now. Some things won't bather me as much (going to a baseball game) others will go to DefCon 5 (having to go into Walmart).

So I'll let my wife know when it's going to be, or potentially be, a bad environment so she is aware that if I start getting agitated there is a reason for it.

I do pretty much the same. As well as bring along my iPod, just in case I can't handle the loud noises.