Odd topic: feeling distance toward your own name

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This little topic is related to something I have sometimes spoken about earlier, looking in the mirror and somehow not feeling as though your reflection is 'you'. (I feel this way because I rarely ever see my own reflection, so I feel a weird sort of 'unfamiliarity' toward my own face.)

But I digress... When I was born, my mother gave me an Irish name that is initially difficult to pronounce for most people here in the Netherlands. As a result, I am not all too fond of my own name, although I will not say I HATE my name. I would have preferred if she had named me something like 'Evert' or 'Willem', but I still consider my name a gift.

But I also find it a little bit difficult to introduce myself on the phone as 'C-----'*. Or even to think to myself and address myself like, 'Well, C-----, what are you going to do today?' On the phone, I prefer to introduce myself with my surname, because that's far more general and less direct. It also creates some distance.

Does anyone else experience their name like this? I'm genuinely curious, because I was wondering if it was related to the distance I feel toward my own reflection, which I have also seen in an autistic savant who was on a T.V. talkshow in the 1990s. Your input is welcome!


(* name obscured for no particular reason... it just feels more comfortable)

yeah I think I can relate to what you said about looking in the mirror. Erie to that I have a strange name. My parents gave me a foreign name which would be in place in Israel. In America though it makes me stand out more. I don't hate my name, in fact my name is kind of cool, but I don't feel like I live up to it. My name sounds really powerful and strong, but unfortunately I act anything but that. Its almost like when someone meets me I get the feeling like they would expect me to be a leader or someone who takes charge. But sadly thats just not me.......and if It is in me, I haven't found a way to bring it out. I almost feel un-worthy of my name

I think its really bad luck that I was a given a different name, and Im also wired "differently" no question about it. So not only do I have a foreign name, but I feel like a foreigner in my own country.

its weird.........hard to even think about it..........I look in the mirror and someone Im not quite sure is starring back at me

This is a really interesting topic... I was named after my dad - as it was common when I was born. I've NEVER felt that my name was really mine. I don't know how to describe the feeling, but it's something like if I saw my name written somewhere it's just as distant as any other persons name. I don't hate my name either, but it's just simply not mine. At my work, I'm being called by my surname. It is usually a rude gesture to call someone on his surname only, but I actually asked my workmates to do this for my favour. Not that my surname is common (actually there are only about 20 ppl called by that name in my country), but I feel its more ME.

I usually feel that I don't want a name at all. I mean, I feel no need for a name. I can have nicknames, but why a full name? It's totally useless, it's only needed for administrative puposes. But in that case, the number on my ID would be enough to identify me. Why do I need a name?

I share the same thought about the mirror too, a lot of times I feel that the guy in the mirror is just a stranger to me. And I feel that I'm not the guy I see, but the guy somewhere inside. When I was a kid, I made experiments if I could leave my body - I knew nothing about souls and things like that that time -, because sometimes I was feeling so strong that I'm "locked inside a body that's not mine", that I just wanted to get out of it. Of course my experiments failed all the time.

I can relate, I've never really felt my name,the way I look and even my voice fits me or the way I see myself, I've shared my thoughts on my name with my parents my mother seemed upset by it.

I know that my name is mine, but I don't feel it. It's one more stupid label, not real ME. But when somebody calls me, I know they want me.

Where I live, my name sounds like many others. But when I'm in typical Polish region, people ask me for spelling my last name. I don't like to introduce, especially many times. For example:

Somebody in office: Bla bla bla bla... tell me your name
V: Katja Schrödinger*
S: Whaaat?
V: Schrödinger
S: Spell it!
V: S-C-H-R-Ö-D-I-N-G-E-R
S: How to write it?
V: O with dots
S: Is this right? (shows)
V: No, Schrödinger, not Shodinngen
S: (corrects)
V: Now it's right
S: Are you from Silesia?
V: Pomerania
S: Yeeeah, of course, you have so odd last names too there

I hate it. I'd prefer just say my name and that's enough.


* It's not my real last name, but sounds similar.

My name is terrible. It's uncommon, unpronounceable, and has religious overtones. It's gotten me nothing but grief. These days, I usually sign things with just my initial. When I emigrate, I will be changing my name to something more normal.

I don't like my name at ALL.

I'm not one for sharing it online, but I will just say that my first name, by the time I got to high school, ended up being the same name of a really embarrassing person on the news. I would walk past a TV and hear that person mentioned and think I was being called, only to find it was THAT WOMAN again.

I didn't like my name in the first place, but that made it worse.

As to my middle name, almost every person I've met with that name has been horrible to me, and as far as I'm concerned, one good thing about getting married will be the chance to take my husband's name and get RID of my middle name once and for all, in a way where it won't offend my family.

My last name I do at least feel a sense of history and connection to--as far as its sound it's nothing special, but the lineage aspect I like.

_________________
Official diagnosis: ADHD, synesthesia. Aspie quiz result (unofficial test): Like Frodo--I'm a halfling? 110/200 NT, 109/200 Aspie.

i dont recognise my own reflection but i love my name. i think it suits me. i used to hate my middle name for some reason and be embarassed to tell people it at school, even though its a pretty normal name, but now i like it too because it came from my great grandmother. and i like that. i also love my surname because of where its from and how it ended up belonging to me.
im quite attached to my name

I got a name that has belonged to twenty or so people in my extended family before me over the course of the last two hundred years. It took me until my teens to grow into it but has been a good fit ever since. The previous ones were cool. One was a Melungeon. I think her son was a ninteenth century milliner. His son inadvertently founded a small town in Eastern North Carolina.

Not identifiying with one's own reflection in the mirror seems quite commonplace then, maybe this is an autistic thing? My name is really boring and common, both my forename and surname. I've always thought Russian names are cool.

I've never liked my name. I don't feel that it fits me at all. In fact, I would always become furious when I was called by my name as a child, so my family just made up nicknames for me (or called me what I demanded to be called at that time). I still feel agitated when people call me by my real name instead of my nickname.

For example, a convo with my uncle last night when he was introducing me to his ex-wife:

Uncle: Your real name is Shanna, isn't it?
Me: No. My real name is Shaye.
Uncle: Yeah... but your REAL name is Shanna.
Me: No, it is not. I will not respond to that name. It is Shaye. That IS my real name.
Uncle: Well, okay then. *laughs and kinda shakes his head... which in turn just ticks me off*

My real name is whatever I say it is!

I never liked my name when I was younger, I thought it was dorky, even though there's nothing wrong with it.

I distance myself from my family and thus only my first name is the only one that I really feel some connection to. I feel that Christopher is a strong sophisticated name and knowing me if I picked any other name it would end up being stupid (I have in the past considered naming my children things such as Orion, Cain, etc.)

i dont like my name much.

mainly because i dont like the social encounter of explaining it, a frequent happening at work.

also because it is pronounced differently from spelled. so i tolerate that by re-pronouncing it the way it is actually phonetically spelled, and re-spelling it that way for clarity. this reduces my annoyance

but, i still prefer a self chosen nickname: jake.