They say they were in the same boat, but 's hard to believe

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I was having a thorough conversation on Facebook with a former classmate of mine, and she told me that I sounded like Yoda, and wondered why I never spoke with such wisdom--or why she never heard me talk like that--back then.

I told her of course no one ever bothered to listen.

I also told her that back in HS my knowledge was still crude compared to now, and I needed time to grow into my own skin.

She said to me "that was everyone back then"; yet for some reason I still have difficulty believing that everyone was in that same boat back then; in a way, I still don't think we were.

Anyone else have a hard time contemplating this?

I might not get what you are saying with this, but if I interpret it right you think people in high school already have all the knowledge they have now and were comfortable in their own skin?

If so that's not right. High school is a part of the process you are describing, and so is every other part of life. Your knowledge now is still crude compared to what you will know in 20 years.

I think I understand. What you're trying to say is that you feel like some of your classmates back in high school have already consolidated their self-awareness and their awareness of the world around them.

Based on my observations of people and my interactions with people, I think that their highly developed emotional aptitude masks a deficit in a more rational understanding of the world. They mostly rely on emotions. Back when I was very depressed about my inability to make friends, my mom told me that I will develop my social skills by acquisition in the same way as the majority of people will develop their intellectual awareness of the world and their understanding of what it is they want to specialize in. It's a very general statement, but the idea behind it is clear to me, in that I've already specialized and have developed certain specific skills as a kid without being able to develop the emotional ones (with me it is language acquisition and reading), while other children, having developed socialization skills very quickly, do not typically specialize and acquire specific academic skills at a very young age.

In conclusion, the other kids in high school were probably more involved in school life, while you were probably focused on doing something else for yourself instead (i.e. special interests). Most people find the fast-paced mode of life energizing and invigorating, but not everyone is meant to enjoy that kind of life.

Personally, I've always felt like I knew that I was doing, but I did not always actually know. It was like swimming against a tide, the tide always pushing you back to the place you were as you're struggling to get away from there. I've constantly tried my hardest, asked the teachers for clarification as much as possible, but still missed some things. There were times when the teacher had announced the due date for an assignment while I was temporarily unable to process, and then I had to ask for an extension. I've also felt behind in my life last year without knowing what I wanted to do in the future. However, I've been told that many people change their majors, so I assumed that many people were in the same boat as me.