NTs, why are you here?

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I don't mean any disrespect or sense of "unwelcome-ness" among NTs on this site, I just feel like taking a poll to see why NTs are on this site.

I do! P*ss off, eh - this is our club!

To figure it out! Since the "experts" don't seem to agree about my son, I figured that I should go to the real experts. I want to be as helpful as possible to him and feel that if we go down the wrong path with the wrong DX we could harm him instead of help.

So, sorry Willard if you want me to pi$$ off. I sure do appreciate the opportunity to get actual info & experiences instead of theoretical garbage which is entirely unhelpful. I guess my reason to be here is to see if my son fits in this club or another club... is that wrong?

No Willard, I don't think I will p*ss off...this is a public, non-exclusive site and I think I'll stick around a little while longer. I really do enjoy reading your posts, and I sincerely hope my presence here isn't causing you any anxiety.



jc6chan, thank you very much for asking, it makes me feel a little more welcome here, actually a lot more welcome especially compared to Willard's post, but Willard's been helpful in other threads so I'm letting this one go

I originally became a member here to learn about the spectrum so I could be a better parent to my son who is on the spectrum. I don't want to fix him because I never thought he was broken, but I wanted to understand him better and learn new ways to help him. From that perspective, mission accomplished...this site has been very valuable to us and his quality of life is certainly better now since I joined WP. And I continue to learn how to be a better person. So your thread gives us an opportunity to provide a well-deserved shout out to Alex, the developers, the mods, and almost all members who contribute here. But there's more. Somewhere along the way, I started to get to know some of the WP members and really began to care about them and the WP community, which may sound flaky or something, but its the truth. There are just some wonderful people here that I really like (and yes, I fully understand the limitations of "getting to know" someone over the internet) and I really like this community. I've stuck around as long as I have in the hopes of making some friends here, and because I have a lot of positive to offer, but frankly its been very frustrating trying to make friends and finding a way to fit in. But that hasn't stopped me from trying. So, I'm voting for "here because of a child on the spectrum" but I would really like you and other members to understand that I'm here for far more than that. Thank you

Nah, Willard doesn't mean that. Well, maybe yes and no, but not when it comes to the parents chatting in parenting, anyway. When it comes to the NT's who come here without having an immediate relation they need to understand, and when it comes to us NT's scurrying about in the forums that are more social and less likely to teach us something useful ... for that, there might be a little suspicion, and the occasional sense of, "hey, if I can't join your club, why can you join mine?"

To the OP, I think you actually missed an option or two. I've seen some people here who are wondering whether or not they are NT or AS, and are looking to see if they find a sense of identity here. Some come because they feel they haven't really fit in anywhere else, and hope to fit in here even if the condition isn't the same. Others don't seem to know why they are attracted to this place, and I guess those are the ones the membership seems to be the most suspicious of. Is that unknown attraction because they just can't stop staring, or is it because they are at least partially AS but not willing to acknowledge it?

And I'll second Dave in that the longer a parent like me is here, the more you develop relationships that extend beyond learning about your child, and that have real value to you. I like you guys. Not for any wierd reason, but simply because as people so many of you are really fun, interesting, and enjoyable to know. Where else am I likely to make friends with a mostly mute nueroscience student? Maybe real life would be different if more people in real life had the chance to know some of you as we do.

Last edited by DW_a_mom on 19 Jul 2010, 12:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Actually, its best that the NT's go. We Aspies and Autistics need a place to talk to each other without any interference. They don't like our intrusions, so why should we put up with theirs. Yes, NT's, we have rights too. Believe it. If your types understood us, there wouldn't be a general atmosphere of another minority group at your throats. They help make us the way we are.

No, SOME of "them" make you as you are.

Even in real life my AS son knows NTs who truly care about and understand him.

So, would you rather I not be able to learn the key things that have made my son's life so much better, that I really could not have learned any other way, just so you can "get back" at the NT world?

Or should there just be forums here that are "off limits" to the NT's? Seriously, I do understand that it is nice to have a place all to yourself, but kicking all the NT's out of all of WP really isn't the answer.

the get out part only

I would only want the mean NTs who don't understand
to leave.

The NTs who Take The Time To Understand people
like me I welcome.

The NTs or Auts who don't care and don't take
the time to understand me and who don't want
to understand are the ones I want nothing to do with.

I can understand why some NT's would want to be here, but i dont like sortof snobby-NT's who stereotype autistic folk. Thankfully we dont get many of them on here.

Well I would mean it, kind of.... This is an online autistic/Asperger's community. If you're an NT who has a loved one with autism, then there are plenty of online resources and message boards for that. For many on the spectrum, this is a place to share similar experiences and offer support. And these same people already feel uncomfortable with and sometimes even threatned by NTs on a regular basis.

So, I'm not going tho say that NTs should stay out entirely, but... as long as they know their place and adapt to our culture, then I don't care if they visit.

Why might Neurotypicals post and join us? Plenty of reasons, like those stated. I believe Aspies are often excluded/left-out of societal clubs.....that's hurtful (as we all know). Whilst the Wrong Planet is home to Autists, we do welcome those who support us and want to learn and contribute. As for myself, I love having those minority NTs on board. They have much to say, plus they're good to know; they are our valued members. I guess I am grateful they are our friends.

But to better illustrate, I'll (shamelessly) 'copy & paste.' As of late, I've been reading a bit about the history of Asperger's/HFA, which I never thought I'd be too much interested in, but it's quite interesting. <site found via google, plenty just like it>

Case in point: (Neurotypical) Sister Viktorine. In essence, she is why Neurotypicals are welcome. During the Nazi regime, Sister Viktorine protected children with Asperger's Syndrome and taught them. She was likely our greatest advocate and friend. Her body was found - the Nazi's had killed her. Sister Viktorine was holding a child, whom she was protecting/shielding, and their bodies were found together.

[I know you'll read/understand, but I will ask no judgmental or mean comments here. Aspies are known to be thinking beings, although we have differing backgrounds and interests. Please be respectful of what Sister Viktorine sacrificed and her selfless contributions.]

quote: "Hans Asperger employed an empathetic and gifted nurse named Sister Viktorine, or Viktorine Zak, as she was called. They opened a school for children with AS in October 1944 which developed programes for children with AS, involving music, speech therapy, play and exercise. However, the school only lasted for four months. It was destroyed during an allied air raid in February 1945. Sister Viktorine was killed, and as a result, much of Hans Asperger's work was lost. This event delayed the understanding of Autistic spectrum conditions in the western world. As a result, Asperger's findings were totally ignored and disregarded in the English speaking world throughout his lifetime."

"Hans Asperger, who some people believe demonstrated Asperger behavioural traits himself, died in Vienna on Tuesday 21st October 1980, at the age of 74."

Then, Dr. Asperger's wrote in 1944, "We are convinced, then, that autistic people have their place in the organism of the social community. They fulfil their role well, perhaps better than anyone else could, and we are talking of people who as children had the greatest difficulties and caused untold worries to their care-givers."

And....."It seems that for success in science and art," he wrote, "a dash of autism is essential."

If you'd like to read more about Hans Asperger and Sister Viktorine Zak, whom Dr. Asperger's described as "a genius" with regard to special Autistic children, the check out this link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hans_Asperger

Dr. Asperger died in 1980. His daughter, Maria, donated her father's own personal writings to further research on ASD. Dr. Asperger did not speak English so all his manuscripts were tirlessly translated into English, from his native German (he was Viennese) by Dr. Uta Frith. Dr. Frith (Neurotypical) is a very kind woman, now retired - London UK. Dr. Uta Frith had authored a well-written journal article, "The Beautiful Otherness of the Autistic Mind" and I wrote to compliment her on her insightful research.

I guess OK to confide, but earlier this year I was applying to Universities overseas; I have been accepted to Glasgow University (my 1st choice!) to their 3 year Neuroscience PhD program. As an afterthought, to say Thank you, I decided to write a quick note of appreciation to Dr. Uta Frith herself (quite bold of me, I know)! Dr. Frith is not in my field, at all! Quite the contrary. She does know I am an Aspie. I got back from Uta one of the kindest notes I've maybe ever received; she not only encourage me (to apply) she read my curriculum vitae and said (quote) that I have a "bright scientific career ahead" and gave me a recommendation too. Although Dr. Frith is retired, she actually said she would have been my PI/advisor. That's why Neurotypicals are 'on our side' and have high expectations of us. Let us honor this choice on their part to be part of our community.

And remember that Sister Viktorine promoted us of her own accord. Because she wanted to. And they make the best members, because they are an integral part of us. Be grateful that DW_a_mom and DenvrDave (both NTs) are here and they do have close family member(s) with ASD too. We all have influential relatives/friends who are Neurotypical. Sister Viktorine did everything within her power to preserve the research and protect the sanctity of science and those gifted Aspies who are our scientists. In sum, we do not exist alone in a sequestration but live amongst all peoples of this world. To progress and succeed means to be cognizant of this fact, not only accept our differences but also to appreciate.

Last edited by LabPet on 19 Jul 2010, 3:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'm autistic, and I just wanted to see the results... like 29 other people.

You NT's get off my laaawn! *shakes fist*

You know what, who cares who joins? If an NT wants to join and are curious to know about the workings of the aspie's minds then go ahead and let them. There is no rule that states "autistics only anyone else can GTFO!"

Last edited by MONKEY on 19 Jul 2010, 6:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'm here because of this invitation by the site creators:


"Wrong Planet is the web community designed for individuals (and parents / professionals of those) with Autism, Asperger's Syndrome, ADHD, PDDs, and other neurological differences."


I don't really identify with "neurotypical", I'm much more of a "neuroatypical" and I'm definitely an ally of autistics.

I've had a good experience here so far. I can understand why people want a safe, secure place without anyone who doesn't identify as autistic. You deserve such an on-line community, and I hope that you find it. However, this is not that place. Parents have been invited to be a part of this community.

I don't like it when people are rude, insensitive or prejudiced either. Especially here. And they probably will GET OUT if you don't respond to them.

Also, I am really grateful that this space exists. It's hard to find people that I can actually relate to about my son. Other parents in our IRL community actually say things like "the A word". Or, they're struggling about how to talk to their child about autism or won't talk about it with their child, which I CANNOT relate to AT ALL and have little tolerance for. Or, they are actively trying to "heal their child of autism". I need this place!

I'm no expert in abbreviations, and I always guess some of them, but is that a typo? It seems like it should be GTFO. (Get the f*** out?)