Something else wrong?

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So I'm getting tested for Aspergers, but when I told my psychologist about the bad thoughts in my head, she got super concerned and called my mother in to make an appointment with a psychiatrist. They both say it's not normal to want to kill people, and to say there's nothing wrong with that.

I know it's against the law and all but it doesn't quite register in me that it's wrong. Then I realised my behaviour was never quite normal, but it doesn't seem to be consistent with Aspergers. I lie very easily about anything which could benefit me. I make use of people to help myself.

I say things I know certain people want to hear and this gets me on their good side. People call me innocent and charming and in school I get away with a lot. All the emotions I've ever felt are only related to me, and not how other people might feel. I don't love my family or friends. I pretend to be happy and cry and all but I really don't feel anything.

I remember when I was 11 and looking out of my uncle's car window and slicing all the people walking on the street in half. When I do have these thoughts it thrills me. My mother calls me arrogant because all my conversations have a lot of 'I, me and myself'. I don't know if these things are strange but I don't plan on giving them up.

Just wanted to see if you guys have these behaviours too, and are they a part of Aspergers?

No, they aren't a part of Asperger's.

and NEVER tell a professional you have thoughts like these, or thoughts to hurt yourself unless you want institutionalized against your will.

The psychologist pulled it out of me. Just curious, if it's not Aspergers than what is it?

when the doc ask me, why i said I was going to kill 50 students, I just lied in said in the heat of the moment. it worked i went home. I was so convincing that I was sen that I made my school look like lairs even with loads of crap proving me guilty.

That actually sounds like antisocial personality disorder.

Or conduct disorder perhaps.

I think everyone has felt like killing someone every now and then.


Nothing about "right" and "wrong" entirely registers with me either.


That doesn't mean i'd ever kill someone or deliberately hurt them....I abhor all forms of violence and cruelty. But I abhor it on an emotional, or "intuitive"if you will, level only.

I can't tell you ON A RATIONAL/LOGICAL basis why it's wrong to kill someone. I don't think there is any such thing as an objective rights/wrongs, goods/evils, etc.....





I leave such ideas to those who believe in god or some other ultimate, objective determinant of right/wrong.


Beyond this....I can relate to most things you're saying here.


Most of these things are necessarily related to Asperger's, (lack of empathy itself certainly can be though) but I see no reason why some individuals with Asperger's can't exhibit them either.


I worried about being a sociopath myself for many years and to some extent, I still do. I'd say many genuine sociopaths don't worry about being a sociopath though.


All I can say is that i've had six full neuropsychological evaulations and i've never been Dx-ed with anti-social personality disorder on any of them.

Borderline on one, schizotypal on four and schizoid with schizotypal and avoidant features on my most recent eval.


One psychologists who never tested me (via an MMPI or any other psychometric personality test) believed I had Narcisstic personality disorder though.

Last edited by Horus on 24 Jul 2010, 12:44 am, edited 1 time in total.

Well actually I think of it everyday. And I have plans about it. Oh, never thought about sociopathy. Though it wouldn't make a difference if I do get diagnosed with it, or have tendencies of it.

Thanks for sharing youe experiece. Horus. This is my politeness showing.

It does SOUND like anti-social personality disorder, but hopefully both you and the OP know it's impossible to make any diagnosis over the internet.


Aside from a substance abuse problem....there are other differential Dx-es which might be a possibility here.

Antisocial behavior can occur during the course of schizophrenia or a manic episode. Narcisstic PD has some similarities as well. Ditto for Histrionic, Borderline and Paranoid personality disorders.


None of these may apply to the OP at all either.



Not everyone with anti-social personality disorder commits crimes and otherwise hurts people either.


Most are not saints.....but moost without ASPD are either. I'm willing to bet many nazis like Adolph Eichmann (and likely Hitler himself) would not be diagnosed with anti-social personality disorder.

But isn't that telling the truth? Since I'm seeing a psychaitrist soon do I tell them everything or not?

I do know

There is no right or wrong, just a different way of being.

If you actually have serious plans about it....I would strongly urge you talk to psychologist about them.

In all honesty....they may very well try have you commited. While that's not a pleasant prospect, it is certainly preferable to you hurting someone and ruining their life (and that of their loved ones) and your
own. You might just get the help you need to overcome these feelings, or at least, overcome the urge to act upon them.


If nothing else.... i'd like to appeal to your logic and rational self-interest here.


You will gain NOTHING but problems if you hurt someone....among the biggest problems human beings can face in fact. No matter how clever you think you are, chances are you won't get away with it. Even if you "merely" assault someone, you may spend time in prison and if not, you'll get a felony record out of it.


Good luck getting a job with a felony record....it's hard enough to find a job in this economy and maybe even harder if you have Asperger's.

Also....keep in mind that your potential victims are not always defenseless. You might wind up dead or crippled thanks to the bullet, knife, fists, etc....of someone acting in self-defense.


Hurting someone won't make you smarter, richer, more self-actualized, or anything else.

If you're nihilistic about all this and just don't care about any consequences even to yourself, you very well may be clinically depressed. That too can be effectively treated and don't assume this nihilism you feel is an integral part of who you are or how you are bound to feel in the future.


Many people who didn't think they would regret or care about hurting someone before or during the act have lived to regret it.

Can I ask you why you believe you KNOW or considering the ....perhaps you're being sarcastic here?


I once saw a harvard-educated psychologist who told me I had Narcisstic Personality Disorder.

That was never borne out in the results of any of the six neuropsych evals i've had and no other psychologist has ever suggested it.

So if you're being serious here.... I find it impossible to understand why you think you can make an accurate Dx over the internet.

I say tell them the truth, or the exercise is pointless. If you are seriously considering killing people or hurting yourself then it's not normal and you'd probably be better off with some professional help, which is, after all, what they're there to provide.

Yes. And people with antisocial personality disorder can learn to deal with it. Since it is ultimately beneficial to a person if they follow society's rules, then that would be the logical course to take.

Suicidal or homicidal thoughts are the one red flag that will pretty much guarantee you're going to be seeing a shrink--and no wonder, since they sharply raise the possibility that someone actually will die.

(The exception here would be someone with OCD obsessing about the possibility of killing someone. They never act on it--the obsession itself is so strong precisely because the thought of killing someone is so frightening and repugnant to them--but the obsession itself is usually so disturbing that they get the person into treatment pretty quick anyway.)