Is it ok that I hate myself?

Post Reply New Topic

i CAN'T HELP IT IF i LOW SELF ESTEEM.

Why Autistics have low self esteem and how to build it up by Dr. Tony Attwood

It took a lot to forgive myself. In the past I could forgive others but not myself. But when I did it brought relief. I was saying "It is ok to be me". "It is good to be me". "Everything is alright".

I struggle a lot too with low self-esteem and hate myself sometimes. But the thing is, I'm not sure how we can really expect to get anything that we want out of life until we have learned to love ourselves. I really think that self-love is one of the most important skills that anyone can learn. How can someone who doesn't love him/herself expect to be able to love anyone else? And when you start truly loving other people and focusing on that wider picture that makes up this great big world we live in, that is when the good stuff starts to happen! Now, no one is perfect, and I think it's also important not to have too high of an opinion of yourself. But loving yourself? Definitely a necessity.

When you ask is it ok what do you mean? You're not hurting anyone but yourself by doing that, but you aren't helping anyone but doing that either. I struggle with this too and I think it's why I probably shouldn't pursue a relationship until I can build my self-esteem, otherwise I'll just end up being clingy and begging for reassurance. Negative self-talk is a pain and you shouldn't fall into the trap of thinking it's normal, I saw a clip from BoJack Horseman once where it shows a stream of conciousness where he just berates himself throughout the day, eating oreo cookies for breakfast thinking "what's wrong with you you're pathetic, make breakfast, why are you still eating the cookies?", I thought it was funny and showed it to my friend and he said "yeah I remember when I used to do that" and his use of the past tense made me realize it's possible to not think this way, so my goal is to eliminate negative self-talk. I don't know how though.

EDIT: Looks like I can posts links now, this is the scene I'm talking about: Bojack Horseman - Stupid Piece of sh*t

Sometimes emotions are natural involuntary subconscious or necessary

You can't measure hatred

Better than narcissistic personality disorder

If it's ok with you, it doesn't matter if it's ok with strangers on the internet

The original poster posted this eight years ago. But her recent posts reflect the same attitude.

Many folks seek permission to love themselves( though they would never say that in so many words). You, the OP, could be the first individual in human history to seek permission to ...not ...love yourself.

I salute your..uniqueness. But I cant wrap my head around it.

Accepting you're not ok is the only way to start getting better.

Making yourself feel guilty about an irrational feeling is only going to add to the list of stuff you don't like about yourself.

Wallowing in it won't help either - you need a steady, realistic plan. But that only comes from being straight with yourself and being proud of that first step.