The opposite of sadistic

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A problem I've had my whole life is seeing injustices done to people even fictional characters in movies bothers me deeply. If I see videos or pictures of badly injured civilians in Iraq I can't sleep cuz I feel so bad and the bad feeling lasts a long time. These days I'm emotionally numb but it still rips at me. As a kid I wasn't numb and the idea of someone intentionally inflicting serious harm on someone else bothered me greatly. I don't give a s**t about myself, I'm fearless as far as pain, injury and death is concerned (I have the scars to prove that) but seeing harm come to other people really bothers me. Who here is like this? How do you resolve the knowing that people all over the world are suffering and having extreme injustices inflicted on them? The way I resolved it is I made it my life mission to do my part to obliterate suffering and injustice. I can't even describe the joy I gain working towards this mission. I'm a strategic bastard when it comes to this kinda thing and since I fear very little and have a creative mind theres nothing holding me back.

I'm the same way about other people getting hurt, except that the extent of it is so overwhelming that I feel like trying to do anything about it is like trying to empty the ocean with a thimble. How do you get over being just stunned and paralyzed by the horrible things people do to each other and actually move on to action?

I think about the fact that the steps I take are part of the overall strategy to do my part to catalyze humanities accerleration towards the point that we overcome vulnerability to injustice and suffering and this makes me feel good about it instead. I assume that if I'm like this there has to be more people like me and I know if there is as little as 100,000 of us we will pull this off with ease because I'm willing to kamikaze myself for the greater good but I know a meticulous and carefully planned strategy is a lot more effective than a single move that involves me kamikazing myself. I used a lot of words to describe that but I usually think about this in a single frame of thought and it instantly overrides the agony of seeing other people suffer because I realize that I'm now part of the force that will put an end to it. I've thought long and hard about it and I think the solution is for everyone to become invulnerable to it. This requires everyone taking control of their belief system, thought processes, physiology and emotions. Thats the first step but I think from then on its smooth sailing. As ghandi says though, "be the change you wish to see in the world". I've been studying chemistry and pharmacology for a long time now and recently started learning hypnosis. I'm amazed at what I'm finding out about what can be done with hypnosis. Take a look at this lab study
EDIT: Cant post the link, I'll PM it to you
not only did they replicate the state of being on heroin, they also replicated the withdrawal symptoms and even managed to reverse the effects of people actually on heroin. Theres been a study done on the MDMA state with similar results. This is clearly evidence that hypnosis can be used to enter any state that can be attained with drugs. Plenty of people have undergone surgery without anasthetics, using only hypnosis and they feel no pain at all. Hypnosis is clearly an almighty weapon to be added to the arsenal of those working towards ridding the world of suffering

I am the sort that just doesnt really care as long as it isnt someone I care about thats getting hurt or whatever. If It doesnt impact my life why should I care anyways? People are born and people die every passing second. Suffering is a fact of existence, and a critical aspect of human nature and nature itself. thousands dying from an earthquake on the other side of the world wouldnt even remotely bother me.

Feeling that way is why I joined the military. I am retired now, but while I was in, I felt like I was doing my small part to make the world a better place. I still do what I can to make a difference where I live. There is nothing to be ashamed of in standing up for people who need help. I still try to make a difference and hope I am a good role model by my actions.